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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell someone they smell....?

75 replies

Tadda · 09/12/2018 00:27

Ok situation explanation probably needed...but also in general...can you tell someone they smell?
I've had to spend the last three weeks in hospital (I'm 35 weeks preg with grade 4 placenta pravia, had 3 abruptions so at 32 weeks admitted as precaution until cSection on 19th)...
Anyway, im on a ward that beds 4, most admitted for 24/48 hour obs, made a couple of lovely new local mum friends so something positive out of what has been a difficult time.
Anyway - occasionally, only three times luckily, but tonight again, someone's admitted that really smells, as in not washed/feet/dirt.....whatever it is but this honestly stinks the whole room out and I know it might be just me (heightened preg senses or whatever) but it's makes me physically sick- but no-one seems to say anything (although staff do seem to open an extra window....) and I end up wandering the corridor for the majority of the night just to get away from the smell....I just can't bring myself to say anything...what would they do anyway? You can't tell someone to wash can you?? But why not??
I'm knackered...

OP posts:
ThatOneHurt · 09/12/2018 09:40

I can’t believe in this day and age that we still expect people to share bedrooms and bathrooms with strangers while in hospital

Really? You can't figure that out?

You genuinely think we should knock down and re-build perfectly adequate and good hospital wards just so each patient can have a bathroom each?
What planet are you on?

OhTheRoses · 09/12/2018 09:52

It follows then that if wards have multiple beds that standards, high ones, must be maintained and staff must ensure that is so.

Exceptions and adjustments are made for every minority group throughout the NHS. Well sometimes consideration needs to be given the majority. The ordinary people who do their best, work hard and fund the system.

I hope she's either had a good wash now op or has been moved. Flowers

OneStepSideways · 09/12/2018 09:58

Ask the staff to have a word. They will talk to the patient discreetly without mentioning you, they'll say they've noticed she isn't attending to personal hygiene and it's not acceptable in a shared bay. If she's too unwell to wash they can bed bath her or wheel her to the shower in a shower chair, make sure family bring in clean clothes or supply clean hospital pyjamas.

Every time I've been in hospital (and every hospital I've worked in) nurses have been strict on personal hygiene, prompting everyone in the bay to shower daily or bringing them a bowl of water and towels. They give out those packs of antiseptic body/face wipes too. Hygiene is important for preventing the spread of infections as well as morale. If someone's neglecting to wash or change their clothes they need to be helped or reminded to do so.

TigerMummy1 · 09/12/2018 10:04

Definitely talk to a midwife. You shouldn't be wandering around with a grade 4 placenta previa! Maybe they could move one of you to a side room.
Although I will say I was very ill in hospital for a week at 35 weeks pregnant and I didn't wash in all that time because I was too ill to shower or stand to strip wash. There was absolutely no help for washing and my husband was working away. After the birth I was very ill as well but luckily my husband helped. If he hadn't, I couldn't have washed. You never know, she might be desperate for a wash but is too embarrassed to ask the midwives to do it!

LucheroTena · 09/12/2018 10:09

ThatOneHurt. Yes I do think they should be reconfigured to provide people with privacy and dignity. Certainly new ones (such as the example I gave) shouldn’t be built with the old fashioned model of multiple occupancy rooms.

LucheroTena · 09/12/2018 10:11

And they’re not ‘perfectly adequate and good’ in my opinion. Most of those wards are ancient and not fit for purpose. Am I’M a hospital matron so think I know what I’m talking about.

Ljlsmum · 09/12/2018 10:17

I heartyniles- but don’t you think segregating everyone means more chance of missing cardiac arrests in a reasonable time? With current staff ratios you could easily not find a patient collapsed in a side room for some time. Having them in a bay means other patient’s pulling an alarm. There is definitely a place for bays in hospital and not just single rooms.

LucheroTena · 09/12/2018 10:25

If people are that sick the wards need staffing properly, 2:1 minimum.

If you think bays of beds help staff spot sick patients you are wrong. They are just used as an excuse to employ less staff. Most multiple bay wards where I work are tumbleweeds for staffing.

redsummershoes · 09/12/2018 10:28

yanbu
talk to the nurses.
Inwould also consider complaining to pals. as pp said it's an infection control thing. each patients needs to be washed daily, ideally they themselves have a shower (with assistance if needed) or a bed bath.

ThatOneHurt · 09/12/2018 11:50

Yes. Because the NHS has the money to knock down all the hospitals and rebuild so patients get their own bathrooms.

Most ridiculous thing I've read today.

katekat383 · 09/12/2018 11:59

You have the right to mention this to a nurse. Why should you put up with?

katekat383 · 09/12/2018 12:00

put up with it?

OhTheRoses · 09/12/2018 12:19

@ThatOneHurt actually where I live the hospital comprises two sites with pre 30's buildings that are unfit for purpose and cripplingly expensive to maintain. Add to that the fact that one falls outside the London Weightimg zone and both have poor nursing reputations and cannot attract high quality staff. Both hospitals and the trust overall require improvement.

An alternative site on NHS land is available just in London LW zone. It would provide a state of the art modern facility and small cottage hospital facilities for non a ute issues could be run on one or both of the existing sites. Apart from that acres of land could be used for affordable housing in SW London Surrey whilst improving standards and care and properly utilising capital and potential resources.

It's extraordinary how many locals are now campaigning to keep Epsom Hospital open. Mainly because their son/daughter was born there 50 years ago and it's an emotional attachment and the hospital is in a nice part of town and they don't want affordable housing in their back yards. Epsom can't do complex stuff anyway and local residents with complex needs have to go to better hospitals that are further away anyway. The new facility is closer than those alternatives and closer for much of the area too.

The mismanagement beggars belief.

bobstersmum · 09/12/2018 12:25

You can't tell someone who has been admitted to hospital that they smell, just don't.

OhTheRoses · 09/12/2018 12:29

No, but they can be moved to a side room bobstermum. My home is spotless and nobody in it stinks. If hospitals have communal wards they have a duty to ensure the environment is not suboptimal and cannot impact on another patient's emotional or physical health.

Loftyswops988 · 09/12/2018 12:31

you can't say it to the person who's been admitted because really you don't know what they've been through/its not your place. However you should 100% talk to a nurse about it, it's more than likely they are aware and planning to sort it but if its making you feel unwell then its not fair

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/12/2018 12:47

You can't tell someone who has been admitted to hospital that they smell, just don't

Why not. The Op is in hospital too. Why should she have to walk the corridors because she's physically sick due to the smell. At least get one of the nurses to speak to the woman.

OhTheRoses · 09/12/2018 12:53

The op shouldn't be put in a position where she even has to think about it. The nursing staff should have dealt with it immediately. Highest common denominator rather the lowest. Sadly in my experience the basic standards of many nurses aren't particularly high and high standards don't seem to be part of the training nowadays.

bobstersmum · 09/12/2018 13:00

I just think you don't know the reason for someone's admission, they could be losing/lost their baby or anything, being smelly would be the last thing they'd care about. It's not nice having to put up with it though, I'm a clean freak! Mention quietly to the nurses.

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 09/12/2018 13:05

I wouldn't say anything but understand where you are coming from. Was standing in a line waiting to pay for something and the person in front stunk of B.O and cigarettes. It actually made me gag.

Monty32 · 09/12/2018 13:10

Is it one person that is making you ill or is it more than one? Can you please clarify op?

Anyway - occasionally, only three times luckily, but tonight again, someone's admitted that really smells, as in not washed/feet/dirt.....whatever it is but this honestly stinks the whole room out and I know it might be just me

Meangirls36 · 09/12/2018 13:24

Weird you could ask them if they need any toiletries from a shop or something. Say hi my mil gave me this (whatever toiletries you have spare) that I can't use I'm allergic do you want it?

PenelopeFlintstone · 10/12/2018 02:19

Sorry, if I was unclear. I definitely wouldn't tell the person that they smelled and I wouldn't want the nursing staff to say that either! I'd want them just to act as though it's a normal part of admission procedure and what they do with all patients.

Nanalisa60 · 10/12/2018 09:27

@Tadda

Well can you tell us all what you did? how did you sort out yesterday mornings problem with your room mate?

Birdsgottafly · 10/12/2018 09:57

It could be partly that the patient hasn't been able to see to her personal hygiene and she certainly should be encouraged and assisted with that.

But, as someone said, some medications and hormones can make you stink, which may be adding to the smell.

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