To want DP to start the day as normal before I get up?

[DonaldDucksTowel]

Whenever DP lets me lie in he does absolutely nothing to start the day until I get up

So I’ll get up to blinds still closed, lamps still on, kids unfed and undressed, none of them given a drink and all left to their own devices while he snoozes under a blanket on the couch

It drives me potty 😤

When he lad a lie in I just carry on like I would any other day and when he gets up he gets up and fits in, so kids will be fed, dressed, youngest will be napping, dishwasher will be on, usually a wash on, kids will be playing, just a normal morning
Just sometimes I’d like to get up to things done and not have to do it all myself and not have the youngests routines all fucked up

AIBU to expect him to actually do something before I get up

I don't know why women put up with this.

My DP will often snooze on the sofa in the early morning if he is giving me a lie in, but he sorts DDs nappy gets her a drink and a picky breakfast first so I don't mind. DD is two and still doesn't sleep through and DP does his fair share in the night so we are both permenantly exhausted. DD likes snuggling up with him on the sofa to watch CBeebies while she's waking up.

It's pretty neglectful to go back to sleep without sorting out the DC first though, you should show him this thread, that will give him a reality check.

I don't either Speakout. It just makes me even more thankful, lots of the stuff women 'put up with' on here, that I'm single.

When your 3yo asked for food did you tell her to ask her father or did you provide food thus reinforcing the idea to everyone that it is your job? If so, don't do that again. Do none of the things that should have been done while you are asleep.

DoinItForTheKids

Yes- being single would be preferable.

I'm not, but I wouldn't put up with shit

Much earlier today I suggested OP do a schedule for her lazy husband. Several strident and indignant retorts saying, "Why should she have to do him a schedule? He should know what to do." etc.
Clearly he doesn't which is why I made the suggestion. Duh 🙄

I've only just worked out if I have a lie in, they have a laze in, and I'm ok with that unless I hear We Should Have Got Out While It Was Still Nice Outside.

he’s very hands on
He’s not though. Being hands on is doing things for your kids when they need them (feeding, dressing, putting them down for a nap,etc) regardless of how tired you are or if you would rather still be in bed.etc.

What he’s doing isn’t very fair on your kids, it’s not creating a great role model for them and by doing this he’s showing no respect for you as you’ve got to get up and do it all and it (not surprisingly) puts you in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

The fact your 3 year old waited until you got up then asked you for food and not DH is very telling and shows how ‘hands on’ he isn’t.

Only you can decide what you are willing to put up with but don’t kid yourself that he’s this great dad and great partner, he really isn’t, like you say he’s leaving all the parenting to you and that’s unfair.

Hmm, this has given me food for thought. I always get the lie ins and feel guilty but actually DH sleeps downstairs anyway, still sleeps when DCs are up and I have a chronic illness so catch up with sleep on weekend mornings. They are older so they get their own breakfast but they would often wait when they were younger, or if they don't get their own they end up waiting until he gets up. He never gets them dressed unless I specify the night before they need to get ready, and put clothes out. He has only recently started brushing DDs long hair on the odd weekend morning. She's nearly 8. I had to point out this needed doing. He asked me why. Ffs! I don't think he's ever got them to do their teeth on a weekend morning.

If we go out, it's usually lunch time because once I'm up I then need to sort them out as well as myself. Me and both DCs will be sat in the car waiting for him when all he's had to do is see to himself. He also doesn't see that housework needs doing once a week, I have to say that it needs doing if I want him to do it. Then he'll stomp and huff whilst doing it.

I'm starting to see the reasons I'm utterly fed up more and more.

I am surprised at the regimented weekend mornings a lot of people are describing. It's normal in our house for us to sometimes not have breakfast at the weekend until that time. We sometimes aren't that hungry and wait till everyone is up to have hot breakfast together, including my 4yo. Also normal to laze about in pyjamas for a bit because it is nice to be more relaxed about things after rushing around all week - I'll also add that I don't jump out of bed to start scrubbing the kitchen and washing clothes on my days off either.
Not saying he isn't taking the piss a bit, but some of the responses here are a bit pearl clutchy to me.

The thing I get mildly irritated about is my husband dropping into conversations with people that 'he's an early riser' or how he's 'usually up early, way before Princess Banana' kind of implying that I lay in late (I'm always up at the wknd before 9am). In actual fact, what happens is that he wakes up at 5am, loudly clatters out of the bedroom waking me up, then goes and lies on the sofa in his dressing gown under a blanket, watches shit tv like Outback Truckers and then falls asleep until I get up. Such a hero

Willow I think it's unusual if you have small kids that they will sleep in until 9 or later. I know when DS1 was little our weekends often started at 6 or 7 am because they get up and really need attention immediately or they'd destroy the house/injure themselves. Now he is older we defo have lazy weekend mornings but it's only a matter of time until DS2 is up to the same tricks.