Aibu to cancel?

[Dontbebloodyrude]

I’ll be brief as it’s a small issue in the scheme of things...

34 weeks pregnant. Friend I haven’t seen for a while wants to visit. Lovely. Asks to bring her 2 dogs, not ideal, I don’t have dogs and don’t really want the hairs all over my house but I can put up with it. She’s now vegan, gluten free and avoids carbs. She wants to stay 2 nights because trains are mucked up or some such. Doesn’t drive so I need to pick her up. Needs to walk the dogs for an hour while she’s with us apparently.
Here’s the thing, she texted to tell me her dietary reqs 10 days ago which leads me to assume that she thinks I’m cooking all weekend. I responded to ask what she would like and nothing! Seems like too much hassle tbh, it’s annoyed me. Wwyd?!

Cook what you are cooking with slight adjustments (e.g. omitting cream from the risotto, soy instead of mince in the chilli). Don't get yourself in a panic. At worst she will pick what she can eat from what you have.

Risotto isn't low carb.

Seriously, it's not veganism, low carb or gluten free. IT'S ALL THREE.

I don't think OP should get caught up in what to cater for this friend! It's an impossible list for someone who OP to find.

If she IS coming -without dogs!! - and you don't cancel (which I think is the best plan) then tell her to bring her special food with her since her diet is so restrictive you don't want to get it wrong and you'll provide the veg.

PLEASE tell us that you've texted her to say you can't deal with it.
I really don't think you need the stress at this stage.

And I totally agree that YOU should not be tying yourself in knots trying work out what the fuck to feed her on, especially as it's quite likely she might decide to "just have a bit" of something that isn't any of those 3 stipulations if she fancies it (seen it often).

So best option is to tell her that she can't come (especially with the dogs).

That’s cheeky expecting a non vegan to cook vegan. Feed her chips and jam sandwiches all weekend.

Oops, didn’t notice all her other requirements!

foodenvy she is also low carb and gluten free.

Text her saying you’re absolutely knackered and you don’t have the stamina to cook or shop so will have to give that some thought together once she’s arrived

if you do want meal suggestions I would cook a pan - or buy a couple of tubs from Tesco- of vegetable soup to have for the 2 lunches. You can have yours with garlic bread.
and a pan of Thai veg curry - mushrooms, onions, carrots, baby corn, pak choi, sugar snap peas sweet potato to add something filling with tin of coconut milk and a tesco do a green thai curry paste that is suitable.
Bananas and grapes for breakfast with a suitable yoghurty thing.

But, personally I would go for a " Hi CF, Something has come up so lets postpone a meet up til the baby comes, we can meet for coffee" Text.

Thank you everyone! Not heard a peep from her all weekend (surely given I work full time anyone with such an extensive list of reqs would think I might have used the weekend to prep). I think I’ll cancel tomorrow. Really can’t be arsed.

Best choice, honestly. :)

Good decision OP

Why wait till tomorrow? A simple text will do.

I know it’s cowardly but I’m gonna pull the d&v card. I’m conscious that her dogs mean a lot to her and I don’t want to come across as a smug pregnant arsehole. Totally agree with you all about just being straight btw and appreciate the helpful suggestions. I’m pretty pissed off that she hasn’t had the courtesy to contact before now.
When baby arrives I’ll suggest a mid point coffee and it will be a straight ‘no’ to dogs around my baby in her our home.

Well done Op sounds like you're learning to take care of yourself which is all to the good as you'll need those boundaries once you've got the baby! Good luck with the birth by the way.

Thank you

Is she definitely expecting you to provide food for her or is she letting you know so that you don't buy things in/expect to be going for food out together? Her diet is unusually severe (how on earth do you avoid carbs when vegan?) I would be very surprised with a diet like that if she doesn't prepare and bring her own food and eats separately from other people. I know its not the same but I friend of mine is coeliac and she always makes people aware in advance so that she doesn't have the hassle of refusing things on the day and so that people don't think she's being rude/awkward by bringing a supply of food with her.

That's good @Dontbebloodyrude
Glad you've felt more confident as a result of MNers.

But you shouldn't have to worry about this bit-
I’m conscious that her dogs mean a lot to her and I don’t want to come across as a smug pregnant arsehole

It really is unusual for someone to invite themselves AND two dogs to stay for a weekend at a distant friend's house. Few people would agree to that.

She is 60 and single.

@Genevieva. What relevance does this have to her dietary requirements?

@AlexaAmbidextra It is called setting the scene. If she was younger I would probably call her out on her behaviour. If she had closer family willing to accommodate her, then I wouldn't bend over backwards to welcome her into my home (note she does have closer family but they are not willing to accommodate her or her dogs). She is not a very rewarding guest, but I feel a sense of obligation because I don't want a 60 year old woman sitting by herself on Christmas Day. Bare in mind she usually arrives before Christmas and leaves after New Year. If she occasionally volunteered to help me with cooking or cleaning or laundry, it would help enormously, but she never will and if I ask she just asks my kids to do the task I have signed to her. We make a rod for our own backs by inviting her. Every January my husband says we will never invite her again, but every November I feel the need to invite her.

I'd just say that you don't think you can cater to her specific requirements and it doesn't seem she would have a great time at yours.