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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this weird?

54 replies

Chosenbyyou · 08/12/2018 08:16

Hey,

I have just thought that this might be odd?!

DH and I have been together for 15 years. We have separate money and put the same into a joint account which covers bills. We earn roughly the same.

We buy Xmas presents separately. We each buy stuff for the same people but separately. We have two DCs 1y and 3y and we have bought them seperate things from Santa - probably spent similar.

Is this weird or normal?!! :)

OP posts:
likablum · 08/12/2018 08:17

Weird

Huntawaymama · 08/12/2018 08:17

Weird

ThatOneHurt · 08/12/2018 08:17

So you buy everything twice?

That's a weird but mostly wasteful.

Thehop · 08/12/2018 08:18

Weird and wasteful.

We have separate accounts but no way do we each buy everyone presents, that’s crackers....and expensive

SoyDora · 08/12/2018 08:20

Weird. Why would you get everyone 2 sets of presents? Do you both buy your mum a present, for example?

SoyDora · 08/12/2018 08:21

And yes, definitely wasteful. So much stuff!

Bluntness100 · 08/12/2018 08:21

Weird.

Original poster
Chosenbyyou · 08/12/2018 08:22

We don’t buy the same thing twice - we each buy something (that we pick separately) for people.

So he has bought a doll and a dress for our DD and I have bought a build a bear teddy for example.

OP posts:
pinkmagic1 · 08/12/2018 08:22

Weird. We have the same set up for you for bills with seperate accounts but very odd to buy seperate presents.

Sparklingbrook · 08/12/2018 08:23

Weird.

SoyDora · 08/12/2018 08:24

We don’t buy the same thing twice - we each buy something (that we pick separately) for people

Well yeah, that’s what I assumed you meant. It’s weird.

FireworksAndSparklers · 08/12/2018 08:24

Weird.

AppleJuiceFlood · 08/12/2018 08:25

Utterly weird. 😂

BorisAndDoris · 08/12/2018 08:25

That's weird. It's not weird to buy your DD a build a bear and a doll but not separately. I also personally find buying just one gift for your own children at Christmas is odd too but I know some people do.

SoyDora · 08/12/2018 08:27

Do your family and friends not think it’s weird to receive a present off both of you?

zeeboo · 08/12/2018 08:28

Very weird.

Original poster
Chosenbyyou · 08/12/2018 08:29

Yes I think you are right it’s weird!

It might be cuz he works shifts (doctor) so we just do our own thing on a lot of stuff lol xx

OP posts:
Threeminis · 08/12/2018 08:31

Weird.
What about when the dc are older and asking for PlayStation's etc? Seems costly

Chocolategirl79 · 08/12/2018 08:32

I don't think that's weird at all. We've been together nearly 25 years and we do that too. We have discussions around what to get the children (or did when they were little) but usually one of us will buy and pay for a bigger present and the other gets the smaller stuff. It means we share ideas about what to get and the joy of seeing our presents opened and enjoyed.
Saying that, he buys for his mum and I buy for mine but if I saw something I thought she might like I would get it as an extra or let him know and he might get less. We probably both spend similar amounts overall.
When the kids were little and we bought for lots of friends' children, I did that.

ChessieFL · 08/12/2018 08:32

Do you actually give the presents as the doll is from Daddy and the bear is from Mummy, or do you give all the presents as jointly from Mummy and Daddy?

DH and I will usually discuss what we’re going to buy for DD then he will get some and I will get some, but it’s all given from both of us.

So not weird to do separate shopping, but weird if you do actually give the presents separately.

Lucylugs · 08/12/2018 08:33

I don't think it's weird. Just different and if you can easily afford it very generous to the people in your family. It's great that your DH buys for the kids as well. I just wonder do the recipients feel they have to give equal back?

AvaHawke · 08/12/2018 08:39

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Original poster
Chosenbyyou · 08/12/2018 08:41

Chocolate - thanks!! I was starting to thing we were mad haha!!

We give all children’s presents from Santa. They are still small so we haven’t been doing Xmas for them for long so maybe this will change when they want costly stuff!!

For family etc we just write from the X family on stuff so people probably don’t realise that we do this. Also there is a bit of a thing in our family of adult presents that are jokes so things aren’t about the cost really.

Thanks for your replies :)

OP posts:
Luckingfovely · 08/12/2018 08:41

It's definitely unusual, but I would hesitate to say weird.

I was then about to suggest that it doesn't sound like you're working as a team.... and then remembered this image which 100% describes my DH, and realised I can't comment at all! Grin

Is this weird?
MrsStrowman · 08/12/2018 08:42

We have a similar financial set up, DSs gifts will be joint, friends/children are usually joint or if couples we might split them eg you buy for Dan and I'll buy for Miranda, as we'll have a better idea of what each would like, but the gifts would be labelled from both of us. We tend to buy for our own parents although again labelled from both of us. Your set up is weird and more like divorced parents.