DH thinks I'm a taxi!

[alliejay81]

Genuinely can't decide whether I'm being unreasonable or not!

DH often works away from work. Last Sunday he left our house at 9am in the morning to paint his mum's house and go to the football. After football he had tea with his mum and drove straight to way he was working this week. All fine so far, his mum needed his help and it didn't make sense to come home. He'll come home tonight after 6 days away.

Two of DH's friends are staying over tomorrow night and they are all going out in the evening. DH also wants to go out at lunchtime with different friends to watch the football. Inconvenient after a week away, but still fine.

Meanwhile, we've just moved house so I've spent both my non-working days finishing sorting the house so it is ready for his friends to stay. I've done all the childcare and worked long hours on my working days (didn't finish til 10:30pm last night). Again, this is fine.

But, now my DH wants me to:

1. drive him to the pub at lunchtime
2. pick him up after the football
3. pick one of his friends up from the train station
4. drive him and his friends to their night out
5. drive his friend back to station at about 10am on Sunday morning

With the house move, the working away and the long hours, there's very little fun in my life at the moment. I don't really want to spend Saturday driving around for hours to facilitate other people's fun. It stops me from being able to do anything else. AIBU? I don't mind doing some, which ones can I refuse?????

YANBU. Where is your downtime? I'd be telling him you need a lift to spend the day out for your own relaxation time on Sunday!

He and his friends can get a taxi and split the cost.
In the very near future he needs to step up and make sure you get a break while he does everything else.

Does he not drive?

He's putting far too much on you.

Can't he drive? If he is capable of driving, but just wants to have a drink, I'd say no.
I'd maybe do one of those lifts but not all of them

Have his hands and feet fallen off??

Just say it doesn't fit with your plans and go out somewhere with the kids.

Oh and on Sunday he is in charge as they have "missed him" although how they can miss someone who is never there....

Yanbu!!

I've noticed in the OP that you mention him driving to work.
So no.
I'd offer one lift only. And not thr one he chooses.

If he can drive he can do the lifts involving his friends, his social life, his football passion. Or get taxis/trains/buses like other people do.

I would refuse all.

What the hell?!?! Have you spelt all this out to him? Do you always take this much of the load?

I’d tell him to stay at the pub and get his friends to meet him there. He can also drop his mate at the station on Sunday as you’re having the weekend off.

What exactly does he contribute to family life? It all seems about him....

I wouldn’t do any of those.

I am pretty generous with my driving as DH can't and we live in the arse end of nowhere (by his townie standards) at my instigation really. But I wouldn't do all that. I might do a couple of them if they were on my way to something I wanted to do but that would be it. In fact I don't think DH would be cheeky enough to ask that after 6 days away I would drive him to the pub to spend time with people who aren't me.

@MyKingdomForBrie I probably take on more than I should, but tbf he doesn't go out a lot, other than to the football... I also think if the shoe was on the other foot he might do all the lifts!

3 and 5 are completely unreasonable, and the rest can be a mix of you and taxi (if you're ammenable).

He's taking the piss

Quite apart from anything else, I can't see any reason at all why he can't take his friend to the station on Sunday morning.

Sod that. Tell him and his friends to book taxis. He can drop his own friend off at the station on Sunday morning, surely? Or is he planning on staying in bed?

A cheeky and a lazy fucker.

Text him a local taxi number.

Wow, what a piss take .
Has he not heard of a taxi or public transport ?
A lift now and again I’d be happy with but I wouldn’t tolerate being treated like a skivvy

I am beginning to think I need to start a new thread called "Am I a pushover? "

To be honest I wouldn't have been overly impressed with him making plans with his friends this weekend given all the circumstances. You need to start putting your foot down, you aren't just a taxi but general dogsbody by the sounds of it.

I would be a bit annoyed at him spending the weekend drinking with friends when he’d been away for the week. However you know your circumstances and seem fine with it so fair play! In that case I would probably drive them to the pub but that would be it.

I also would be annoyed at the fact that he plans to do so much socialising after being away for a week. You say "all fine" a couple of times. Would not be fine with me in any way.

I wouldn't mind if it was a one-off and he would do the same for me.

He can certainly take his friend to the station in the morning though.

What are you doing with the DC whilst you are driving him and his mates everywhere?

"DH, I'd like to share an amazing new thing I've discovered - it's called "Uber". It lets you do all the things you want while ALSO allowing me to have some bloody weekend as well."