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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that my husband has stolen my period **Thread title edited by MNHQ**

190 replies

Countrymarch · 07/12/2018 10:01

My DH has always been on the sensative side- a few suspicious sniffs at the end of Rocky and leaves the room when Mrs Jumbo sings Baby Mine to Dumbo- that kind of thing...

However, when I was pregnant, he was an emotional nightmare. If I had a weepy day, he'd be mopey and a bit pathetic, but be unable to say why. If I had backache, he'd be booking in physiotherapy for 'an old sports injury' in his lower back that would suddenly be playing up.

The less said about the birth, the better- let's just say, he was checked out for appendicitis whilst I was waiting to be induced.

Roll on a few years and all is fine (mysterious back injury miraculously cured and appendix intact). However, I've been having the most God awful time of it with my periods for the last few months. So unbelievably painful and emotional, that sometimes I just have to tuck myself away, have a long bath and curl up in bed so that I don't end up killing someone.

I've been to the docs and they're looking into endometriosis, however....

My DH seems to take my obvious distress as a sign that he too is due his period.
Lots of moaning and 'stomach aches'. He's very emotional and last night, he ate my emergency bar of Galaxy.

I can't describe the sheer amount of murder I wanted to commit when he feebly asked to go to bed early as he was 'feeling a bit funny and cross', tucked himself in bed to watch Ian Botham's greatest cricketing moments, leaving me to deal with the kids (with no chocolate) and tidy the mess he'd made around what can only be describe as his sofa nest.

This isn't the first time it has happened and seems to now be a monthly occurance.

I'm not cross at him for being a massive wet fart, we all have our moments... But AIBU to think he's stealing my God earnt right as a woman to monopolise pmt????

Does anyone else's DH do this, or should I genuinely be concerned that he's got a secret fanny?

Yours, with true period style irrationality.

Please note, the thread title was originally: AIBU to think that my husband is just a MASSIVE GIRL. - the OP regretted this! (see her subsequent posts) - Added by MNHQ

OP posts:
CloudPop · 07/12/2018 17:10

I remember someone posting once that their ex was convinced he had ovarian cancer because his symptoms were so similar to how they were described.

RaspberryRipple1963 · 07/12/2018 17:11

'A secret fanny' Grin. That did make me laugh!

SofiaDyer · 07/12/2018 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Countrymarch · 07/12/2018 17:16

Oh Sofia... You took the words right out of my mind you old flirt you...

OP posts:
Original poster
Countrymarch · 07/12/2018 17:17

Phantom manvarian cancer Shock

OP posts:
LizzieBennettDarcy · 07/12/2018 17:24

Jesus OP I'd have killed him years ago.

Joking aside, how on earth can you tolerate such awful attention seeking behaviour from him and still have any respect for him?

RebelWitchFace · 07/12/2018 17:25

Put one of your pads in DS's pants. Won't stop the shitplosion but might contain some especially as he gets emptier and emptier.

As for your DH... I'm seriously impressed with your self control. I would've seriously lost my shit ages ago. There's sensitive and there's whiney,pathetic , look at me I'm in more pain than you,suffering olympics gold medalist.

HashtagTeamRaven · 07/12/2018 17:35

Divorce the husband, OP, I'LL marry you, you seem a hoot.
I promise to stand back and throw chocolate at you from afar when Aunt Flo visits.

LegoAdventCalendar · 07/12/2018 17:42

I dated a whingy arse attention-seeker like your h. For the entire month it took me to realise that this type of behaviour made him a cunt.

MrMakersFartyParty · 07/12/2018 17:52

I don't think I could joke about this. I hsve had endometriosis and if someone faked sympathy pains I'd either punch them in the throat or divorce them. I think he either needs sectioning or something or he's a massive bastard.

MrMakersFartyParty · 07/12/2018 17:56

I meant to say I've had endometriosis for 10 years, not "have had" as in its gone. It never bloody goes.

Original poster
Countrymarch · 07/12/2018 18:00

@makers how did you deal with it? It's all new to me. I feel like my body swells up to twice its normal size. It gets so I feel like I can't breath. I hate taking tablets and stuff so just try and get through it with hot baths, drinking loads and curling up.

Yes DH doing this is just the worst, but since I wrote this post my little boy has been quite poorly (now in nappies as I can't cope with the slow leaking lava flow that us left).

So, for now, I'm going to push it to one side and try and grab a bath and a curl up when the kids are in bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Countrymarch · 07/12/2018 18:02

Ah fuck @makers, you totally got my hopes up... I was clinging on to that 'had' as hard as I'm clinging onto my Thorntons collection box.

I want it gone.

OP posts:
MrMakersFartyParty · 07/12/2018 18:28

Sorry! Started when I was 15 and it's still here years later... I've had surgery to remove it every 4 to 5 years or so... Next time it's a hysterectomy. I have heard zoladex can be a good solution or the mirena coil, but my libido and mood turn to shit as soon as I touch hormones!

LucyAutumn · 07/12/2018 18:35

OP your updates are hilarious.

My sympathies on the period stealing husband though. I honestly don't know how you cope with this.

'RE period pain, I agree with the chocolate, warm baths and warm drinks but I also pop a Nurofen when things get too rough, be kind to yourself, I don't like to take pain killers all the time but period pain can be horrendous.

Bluetrews25 · 07/12/2018 19:42

Nothing wrong with the odd tear to a film.
Maybe the sensitivity means that he really is picking up on your distress, but if it is Elevererife (related to your Tenerife) competitiveness then this is seriously out of order and deserves all the shitty nappies you can throw at him.
I can so relate to PPs bitten by a shark blood loss comment (especially this week), so I think it's a case of Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate all around.

MrMakersFartyParty · 07/12/2018 19:50

Oh and to cope with endometriosis... I have it on my uterosacral ligaments so I get this pain all down my legs, so I sit on a hot water bottle, or I have what I call "whale time" in the bath for like an hour when the kids are in bed, or cocodamol and bingeing on chocolate and snuggling up in a nest. Just had my 3rd lap and hoping for a few years break now... I find stretching quite good too.. Cocodamol is my drug of choice with an ibuprofen chaser.

Eponymous · 07/12/2018 20:31

I get your point now. I'm a bit sensitised as Dp says it for not period related general behaviour he sees as 'not manly' and it drives me bonkers as dd has ASD and takes things literally. I habitually take him up on it every time if she's in the room just to make the point.

Anyway... he also gets 'back ache' without fail every time we have to undertake a drive of more than an hour so I always have to drive.

I had words the last time and surprisingly enough this time he was fine. Ahhh the magical healing power of 'having a word'.

ZanZeeee · 07/12/2018 20:42

Eugh OP I’m with you. I’m all for equality blah blah but I like a man to be a man and I don’t give a shit who that offends.

My husband is the kindest, most tolerant, sensitive man I know but I don’t want him competing with me on who has the worst stomach ache when I have a period. And I have stage 3 Endo so totally get where you’re coming from. When I was in labour with DD I was pleasantly surprised to discover that contractions weren’t as bad as I had feared because I was used to the bloody pain!

Tell him to wind his whinging neck in.

ZanZeeee · 07/12/2018 20:44

And as for the ‘appendicitis’ scare when you were in labour, we’ll, the mind boggles. That would respires me as much as it clears does for you.

ZanZeeee · 07/12/2018 20:44

*repulse

AmericanHousewifefan · 07/12/2018 21:30

Countrymarch you are hilarious. You need to write a book Grin

Your DH needs a stern talking to. DH can be a bit like that but in his case he gets insecure when I'm ill and he makes himself sick with worry. He's not as bad as your DH though.

CheshireChat · 08/12/2018 00:00

Countrymarch I'd threaten to kick him in the balls so at least he's got a reason to complain.

DP tries this sometimes- I've suggested I'll help him bleed if he doesn't shut up Wink.

I have conjunctivitis right now, I'm a strict contact lens wearer so I obviously can't see a bloody thing and he complained that his eyes hurt... I told him I'll rub my eyes on his pillow.

SciFiScream · 08/12/2018 07:42

@Countrymarch your updates and change of title have impressed me! Thanks for taking it on board.
As for the endo - yes I have it too, I believe my bowel is affected with the scar tissue
I had a mirena coil fitted it has changed my life. I've gone from a 10 day heavy period to a smear! The pain is gone, I can poo again. All the pains I had round my back are gone (I thought I had a dodgy back!) all the pains round my abdomen and down my legs are gone.
It has affected my libido but it's worth it.

I still think your DH being, cough, good showing emotions is a good thing but he's not great at having empathy is he?

Talk to him about it. Good luck

Shepherdspieisminging · 08/12/2018 07:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.