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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to think that my husband has stolen my period **Thread title edited by MNHQ**

190 replies

Countrymarch · 07/12/2018 10:01

My DH has always been on the sensative side- a few suspicious sniffs at the end of Rocky and leaves the room when Mrs Jumbo sings Baby Mine to Dumbo- that kind of thing...

However, when I was pregnant, he was an emotional nightmare. If I had a weepy day, he'd be mopey and a bit pathetic, but be unable to say why. If I had backache, he'd be booking in physiotherapy for 'an old sports injury' in his lower back that would suddenly be playing up.

The less said about the birth, the better- let's just say, he was checked out for appendicitis whilst I was waiting to be induced.

Roll on a few years and all is fine (mysterious back injury miraculously cured and appendix intact). However, I've been having the most God awful time of it with my periods for the last few months. So unbelievably painful and emotional, that sometimes I just have to tuck myself away, have a long bath and curl up in bed so that I don't end up killing someone.

I've been to the docs and they're looking into endometriosis, however....

My DH seems to take my obvious distress as a sign that he too is due his period.
Lots of moaning and 'stomach aches'. He's very emotional and last night, he ate my emergency bar of Galaxy.

I can't describe the sheer amount of murder I wanted to commit when he feebly asked to go to bed early as he was 'feeling a bit funny and cross', tucked himself in bed to watch Ian Botham's greatest cricketing moments, leaving me to deal with the kids (with no chocolate) and tidy the mess he'd made around what can only be describe as his sofa nest.

This isn't the first time it has happened and seems to now be a monthly occurance.

I'm not cross at him for being a massive wet fart, we all have our moments... But AIBU to think he's stealing my God earnt right as a woman to monopolise pmt????

Does anyone else's DH do this, or should I genuinely be concerned that he's got a secret fanny?

Yours, with true period style irrationality.

Please note, the thread title was originally: AIBU to think that my husband is just a MASSIVE GIRL. - the OP regretted this! (see her subsequent posts) - Added by MNHQ

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 07/12/2018 12:15

Attitudes like yours are so damaging. There is nothing wrong with a man crying at dumbo, I did. The idea that a man must show no emotion is one of the reasons suicide is a leading causing of death in young men.

53rdWay · 07/12/2018 12:16

Can you take him to the GP and ask them in wide-eyed sincerity if it's possible for him to catch endometriosis and labour pains from you, since you're sooooooo worried about his symptoms? And then when they give you a "wtf?" look ask them to refer him for whatever mental health care is suitable for someone who faked appendicitis because his wife was going into labour.

Also tell him to buy you some replacement chocolate, the selfish oaf.

AutumnCrow · 07/12/2018 12:23

Good update, OP Grin

M3lon · 07/12/2018 12:25

That reply was worth waiting for. Well done for owning your mistake OP.

There is a thing called 'empathetic illness' that some people actually seem to suffer from, that causes them to feel the pain of loved ones physically.

Your DH might have this...or he might be a massive attention seeking knob. Probably best to find out which with a psych eval.

Or...could you start limping? Mimicking an illness you don't have...just to see if he also picks that up?

Justanothernameonthepage · 07/12/2018 12:36

Nah. Girls tend to be much more resilient and empathetic than your DH. He just sounds like he's a bit of an attention seeking idiot.

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 07/12/2018 12:41

He's not a massive girl, he's a massive twat.

HTH Smile

PositivelyPERF · 07/12/2018 12:43

I jumped at the title but your update is awesome, OP. I’d offer to insert a fucking tampon into the end of his dock, the next time he whines about period pain.

Knittink · 07/12/2018 12:46

Your husband is a pathetic, attention-seeking twat. Actually it's worse than pathetic, it's selfish and unpleasant for an adult to mimimise other people's pain by inventing something wrong with themselves. It might be understandable in a toddler, but not a grown adult.

picklemebaubles · 07/12/2018 12:47

Is he generally very empathic? Some people do feel other people's pain unless they work hard not to. If you draw his attention to it, he may be able to take some control of it.

Then there is mirror synaesthesia.

PumpkinKitty82 · 07/12/2018 12:47

It’s weird is what it is!
I’ve heard of sympathy pains but this is ridiculous and clearly psychosomatic .
Do you tell him you’re in pain or have your period or does this just mysteriously appear in him along side whatever pain/ illness you’re feeling .
That would drive me nuts

Knittink · 07/12/2018 12:47

Empathetic my arse.

Sandbox · 07/12/2018 12:49

He sounds like a complete fruit loop

skybluee · 07/12/2018 12:56

I'd try to get to the bottom of why he's behaving like this. Seems like he's kind of imitating you. I'd write off all the stuff that happened in the past and who cares about films but if this is happening each month that's really annoying. I don't really get it... maybe buy him a box of tampons.

53rdWay · 07/12/2018 12:57

Oh and next time he says he wants to go to bed early because he's ''feeling a bit funny and cross', tell him that as you're ill and in pain you are going first. What is he, four?

skybluee · 07/12/2018 12:57

Also I don't think you should've cleaned his shit up when you weren't feeling well.

penisbeakers · 07/12/2018 13:00

Oh fuck off.

Sexnotgender · 07/12/2018 13:04

He sounds like a dick, does he at least have some redeeming features?

FishFingersAndCustard11 · 07/12/2018 13:12

Hopefully all these unhelpful comments about how sexist OP has come across will stop now. She has addressed she should've calmed down before typing away, and didnt mean it in a derogatory sense. She has received loads of comments based on her choice of title, she doesn't need anymore

gamerchick · 07/12/2018 13:13

Attitudes like yours are so damaging. There is nothing wrong with a man crying at dumbo, I did. The idea that a man must show no emotion is one of the reasons suicide is a leading causing of death in young men

Brilliant Grin pure gold.

OP how have you managed not to call him on it? You know what he's going to do so get there first.

Period tell him you've got him tampons for his. Illness ask him what he's going to come up with now while looking at him expectantly. Be sarcastic and call him out on it every.single.time.

Or just kill him.

gamerchick · 07/12/2018 13:14

Hopefully all these unhelpful comments about how sexist OP has come across will stop now

They won't because people get positively gleeful when they have this shit to pick at. Gives them something to do.

BlancheM · 07/12/2018 13:16

Oh it's a shame about the title because having actually read the post, it's used in context!
OP is saying that her OH is behaving like he has a uterus and presenting as having all the painful and hormonal problems that come with it, Not that there is anything wrong with womanhood!

Singlenotsingle · 07/12/2018 13:16

Don't tell him next time. Just go to bed and tell him he's in charge of the dc

Original poster
Countrymarch · 07/12/2018 13:24

I'm back at my desk now and working my way through the £47 (Shock) worth of chocolate I bought in bastarding Thorntons.

I'm a bit calmer now (although not untempted to spend the rest of my hormonal afternoon maturely flicking v-signs under my desk at my boss)

I'm going to have a serious chat with DH... But maybe not today. I actually love him very much and don't really want him to leave me because I called him Cunty McCockface and tried to stab him with a tampon during an argument.

I do actually love his sensitive side, and after growing up with four emotionally stunted brothers, his dumbo/rocky tears are actually quite sweet... But...

After nearly 25 years of being terrified to sneeze incase the contents of my womb forcefully ejects itself onto an unfortunate passerby, I think I've earnt my right to a bit of me time when it feels like I'm going to give birth to a bowling ball made of angry thunder.

OP posts:
Original poster
Countrymarch · 07/12/2018 13:25

And yes...

Fucking title!!!!

OP posts:
allwalkedout · 07/12/2018 13:29

I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated and angry but your ranty updates are hilarious! You eat that chocolate and flick those Vs. Feel better soon, OP x