Is my colleague being greedy...

[maddiemookins16mum]

Sit on a bank of four desks at work, over the last week or so we’ve started having Christmassy treats, chocolates, mince pies etc and put them in the middle area of the four desks. Colleague (we’ll call her Sam) is pretty much eating 80% of it. Yesterday we got a box of naice posh mince pies, 6 of them. By lunchtime, I’d had one, my other colleague had one and Sam had three. I got sent a box of chocolates from a supplier, who Sam doesn’t need to deal with etc, I put them in the middle, opened them at 4pm and had one, Sam had two. Other colleague left at 4.30pm and I went to a meeting. By 5.15 the top layer of 12 chocolates had gone, all eaten by Sam. Would i be unreasonable to put them in my drawer this morning! Of course I don’t mind her sharing, we all do, but she’s pretty much devouring the lot.

Sweetnothern but the OP knew exactly how much chocolates EVERYONE had eaten before she left her desk. She was already tallying up each and everyone by all her colleagues not just Sam . Before sam finished the layer .

Snacks are VEAK! Bourgeois pigs! Here at the South London Workers' Collective, we despise snacks and dig our own turnips for sustenance.

I'm afraid Sam would annoy me too, OP, but that is office life for you and one of the many reasons I'm so happy to be out of that kind of environment. Being desk-bound is horribly unnatural, even people with jobs they like are often stressed and bored by the environment, and a bloody chocolate or a biscuit is a form of comfort, it seems to me. In my last such role there was a constant stream of sweet crap left out to share, and people would start in on it from 9am onwards. Hardly anyone could take something and leave it on their desk for later on with a cup of tea, say, so it did turn into some horrible twisted arms race with people desperate to make sure they got their share and didn't miss out on what was, essentially, a bit of cheap crap. Horrible!

I think if it annoys you that Sam is taking more than her fair share of stuff that has been given to you personally and you are sharing, then you should pass the item round for everyone to take one, and then put them away. Get the packet out again the next day, repeat. Or just take them home. Or give them to a food bank.

For the rest of it, not much you can do. Just be thankful you don't have her problem ( Whatever that might be: greed, boredom, lack of manners, depressed eating, - not sure I think sugar is an addiction as people can become addicted to say, opioids, but it's certainly a deep-grained habit in some) .

Put the snacks elsewhere.

I was Sam when I worked in an office which had snacks within arms reach all the time. It was awful. I felt guilty for eating more than my share, I didn't want to eat that much sugar, but I lacked the self control to stop. Especially as I was often the only one in the office for hours at a time so there was noone there to judge me as I did it.

I don't buy snacks for myself because I know I have no self control. I sure as hell don't want them within arms reach of the desk I sit at all day.

@KittyVonCatsworth "skinning rats to survive"

We don't have a treat table as such we have a kitchen and treats sre keft on tbe worktop. I agree with a pp, as long as everyone knows the treats are there and has access to them it's up to individuals to ensure they get some if they want some and not complain that there's none left by the time they decide they want some.

Those posters saying "do you count every chocolate" etc etc - it is PRETTY obvious when someone has snaffled 3 out of 6 mince pies, and nearly a whole layer of chocs when they are the only one left in the office...

I have a colleague who is also a good friend who is like this. At lunch she will even swipe a bit of my food off my plate and yes it used to drive me bonkers but at the end of the day I'm just glad that I don't have her compulsion to eat everything in her peripheral vision. She is a couple of stone overweight and I know she hates it so I don't judge.

Her skinny DH on the other hand who is far greedier than she is, I cannot abide him. If we go out to dinner he will directly ask me if I've finished eating and then eat what's left on my plate. They are well off btw so it's not a money issue. I don't know why I judge them differently but I think my colleague has a really hard time resisting food and he is just a majorly CF.

The same gannets from around the floor descend as soon as the stuff appears, even though someone on the team will have brought it in for our team.

We used to have something similar, or maybe the opposite. Another department, right next to ours, regularly brought treats in just for them. If someone in our department brought a treat in, they'd send around an email inviting everyone to share. Two people in particular from the other department would always be the first at the treats.

Why should no-one be allowed to snack just because one person has no self-control?

NO-ONE needs to snack. 3 meals a day is plenty. Mince pies, chocs, biscuits - all occasional treats, not for all day, every day. No wonder we have obesity - mindless eating.

I love to snack, but it's never mindless - I savour every mouthful (nor am I obese).

Rainbunny surely if you've finished, you've finished? If someone ate food I was in the process of eating I would judge them much more harshly than someone who ate my leftovers. If the DH is skinny he's clearly not exceeding his energy needs.

Indeed when I eat out with my in-laws we regularly offer food around that we've finished with.

Dinosforall - perhaps I should have been more explicit in my post. My friend's Dh will ask if I've finished eating barely a second before tying to claim the contents of my plate. I don't know about you but I do not think it's generally good manners to go to a nice restaurant and badger your fellow dinner guest to give you their plate because they took a pause from eating or dared to place their cutlery down.

I honestly wouldn't be fussed and wouldn't see a problem with it. If they're put out to share they're put out to share, I wouldn't begrudge who took them. Any I didn't want to share I wouldn't put out.

Rainbunny ok that does sound really irritating!

I’m the Sam in our office. Really wish people wouldn’t bring in so much sweet stuff and stick it in the middle of the office with no plans to eat much themselves.

Start a rumour that they are filming an episode of Secret Eaters in your office. The idea that someone might be filming me throwing a ton of Quality Street down my neck at ten am always stops me diving into the office snacks. And if I don't start then I don't need to carry on. It's just mindless chompery.

If you don't want to share, then don't put food out to share. If food is provided by eg management or gifts from clients, it's not your business to police who eats more/less of it.

And, in offices like this, there's usually at least one whiner who won't have any of it because, boo hoo, sugar is unhealthy, being fat is a terrible sin, are you sure it's vegan, I don't snack because I have self-discipline, waaa, waa, the sound of you eating has triggered my Attention Seeker Syndrome...
I'm also glad I don't work in an office.

Just lock them in a drawer or pass them out on paper napkins with 1 per person or 2 per person. Some greedy, selfish, inconsiderate or cheapskate twat always ruins it for everyone else.

Reanimated
If the op and colleagues are bringing in food to share or something they were personally given they put it out for everyone to share not for someone to eat half of it themselves.
If i chose to share an expensive treat i would expect all colleagues to have a fair share not just one guzzling most of it themselves.
Selfish and greedy.

I’m not obese or a binge eater but I love a chocolately snack. I am the Sam. Other colleagues should eat more chocolates if they want more. Or just don’t put them on the desk if you don’t want to share

She's not putting them out to just get rid though, she's putting them out to SHARE.

Share - when everyone gets a fair portion.

Those saying "oh I'm Sam, it's someone else's fault because of X, Y, Z..." - for God's sake, you're an ADULT, take some damn responsibility for your actions and get some self control. I presume you don't gorge yourself on the pastries whilst queuing at the bakery "because it's within arms reach".

It amazes me how so many people teach their kids to share & not to be greedy, yet here so many think it's ok for an adult & suggest it's because Sam has an eating disorder?!

I like a chocolate or a biscuit with a brew maybe once a day if we have some in. The problem with the sams of the world is they lack consideration & need to have one everytime they take a breath. Sam doesn't factor in my longer term grazing plans because she's too busy stuffing her face.

OP, throw a load of carrot sticks in the middle on Monday, that'll tell you if Sam's got an eating disorder of any description. I bet they're still there at 5pm!

She could have an eating disorder, yes..... but I’m guessing she is just a greedy f**ker!

Having a compulsive disorder doesn't excuse you from being annoying & anti-social.

Hell yeah I'd stick them in my desk & give anyone a rebuke if they obviously were reaching for more than their fair share. They can admit to their problems & ask for help but otherwise I'm not sympathetic. You need a strategy for making sure others get a fair share.

I'm more wondering why people are watching what others eat? why are you keeping a tally? sounds so obsessive. If I bring something in, I only have one and then leave them to it.. I don't then sit watching who eats and how much???!!
Just don't put stuff you don't want others eating out and save it for yourself later or make sure you have had your share in advance, like picking 3 chocolates first if its a box of 9 chocolates between 3 people.