Is my colleague being greedy...

[maddiemookins16mum]

Sit on a bank of four desks at work, over the last week or so we’ve started having Christmassy treats, chocolates, mince pies etc and put them in the middle area of the four desks. Colleague (we’ll call her Sam) is pretty much eating 80% of it. Yesterday we got a box of naice posh mince pies, 6 of them. By lunchtime, I’d had one, my other colleague had one and Sam had three. I got sent a box of chocolates from a supplier, who Sam doesn’t need to deal with etc, I put them in the middle, opened them at 4pm and had one, Sam had two. Other colleague left at 4.30pm and I went to a meeting. By 5.15 the top layer of 12 chocolates had gone, all eaten by Sam. Would i be unreasonable to put them in my drawer this morning! Of course I don’t mind her sharing, we all do, but she’s pretty much devouring the lot.

[DarklyDreamingDexter]

I think as long as you publicise to everyone in the office that there are sweets and treats on the table to help themselves to, everyone has an equal chance with the goodies. If they choose not to partake, it's up to them if they miss out and someone else (Sam in this case) hooves it all up. We had a shared treats table in the last place I worked and more often than not stuff would get thrown out as it went stale before anyone ate it.

[Mercurial123]

We all have different relationships with food and eating chocolate, biscuits every day isn't a treat it's an unhealthy part of your diet. OP if it offends you so much be the biscuit monitor?

[OrgyofSausages]

Is Sam fat? she soon will be if not already.

[Myimaginarycathasfleas]

Maybe not greedy, just weak. Put them all on or near your desk, and see how you cope with the temptation . Also, she might feel slightly more self conscious about making a special journey if the treats are a bit further away.

[goodnightspaceman]

Maybe don’t leave them out if you're going to be keeping a tally every time someone takes a chocolate

^^this

[knittedjest]

I have a disordered eating so wouldn't eat them but wouldn't begrudge somebody who did. I would assume that if they were left out they were free for all. If you wanted them split up equally you probably should have done that from the get go. If you want more take more and leave it by your desk until you're ready to eat it. If somebody took it from your desk than they would be a real cheeky fucker.

[Pinkyyy]

Does Sam contribute by bringing stuff in?

[Fundays12]

Yes she is greedy but I wouldn’t be stressing about it she is the one whose clothes won’t fit in a few weeks if she keeps eating like that.

[sollyfromsurrey]

It's like putting out free heroin for a drug addict and then asking why they take it. Stop putting sugary food out as a free for all and then crying when someone with an addiction eats it.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

We have this. There's a treat table and the same one or two people will demolish anything that is left on there.

There are two compounding thoughts; really. Everyone knows that this will happen; so things that they don't want to share, do not go on the treat table. And everyone knows this will happen, so it's not a "slow graze over a week" table; if you want something you need to go and get it or you risk it having been eaten.

As long as Sam is contributing things too; I don't think you can ask her to pick at treats on your schedule instead of hers.

I'm used to someone putting out chocolates that would last for a few weeks; our Easter arrangement used to last the month or so. Now it's gone in three days. It's how it is; there would be no joy from telling people to eat slowly - it'd just create bad feeling about the treats.

Generally I abstain anyway; or I end up accidentally eating all day some days, and it's usually food that looks nice but that I don't need.

[Tessliketrees]

We had a person like that in our office, it was a running joke. Once one of my colleagues came in from a meeting and she was sat eating a packet of fruit pastels the colleague had left of her desk.

She was the loveliest person, it was like she just couldn't help herself. She didn't bring food in because she was unhealthy and needed to stop eating shite but she was generous in other ways so nobody bothered.

[itswinetime]

If you put treats out for people to help themselves they will! If you aren't happy with the amount she is taking/don't feel she is bringing in her share then keep to yourself and only offer out when you want to.

[MissRhubarb]

"It's like putting out free heroin for a drug addict and then asking why they take it."

No it isn't. It's a few mince pies.

[MrDonut]

Luglio
I wish there'd been a Sam in my office when I had a desk job.

I might not have put on three stone in four years cake

Or maybe you were the Sam...

[Birdsgottafly]

"No she is just a greedy, selfish cow with no self discipline."

As said, we all have a different relationship with food.

If you want something later, take it and put it on your desk.

If the chocolates are given by your client, then you you don't have to do more than offer them once. So put them in your desk.

Most people over eat when food is in front of them. Rethink were the food is put.

[Pinkruler]

Keep it locked in your desk draw and hand chocs / mince pies round twice a day - then relock.

Is Sam large?

[CottonSock]

I am a healthy weight, but really struggle to stay there. I hate it when chocolates are out at work to be honest.

[ScrantonTheElectricCity]

Yes, greedy and seems like she has no shame in it. As a PP said - put away the good stuff and get Value biscuits if she is that desperate. Or better still nothing, so that she has to put her hand in her pockets and get something.
When people give mince pies for eg divvy them up straight away and whatever is left is fair game

[Iloveautumnleaves]

YANBU that you think everyone should share nicely.

It doesn’t surprise me though that so many have posted saying YOU’RE being mean/unfair/a monitor, the ‘ME ME ME screw everyone else’ mentality is taking over.

Whether she’s a mannerless greedy twat, or is just mindlessly eating them because they’re there or genuinely has an issue/inability to resist the food, it’s (quite reasonably!) annoying you, so you need to do something about it. I agree with the suggestion of keeping them in your drawer & offering them around when you want to. It’ll help stop you getting annoyed and it might help her too if she’s struggling with them there.

[Rachel0Greep]

I would put them away, yes.

We occasionally have sweet stuff at work, very occasionally. The same gannets from around the floor descend as soon as the stuff appears, even though someone on the team will have brought it in for our team.

It's not a big deal because it doesn't happen often, but it's noticeable how friendly some become, as soon as the sweet stuff appears, then rapidly retreat when it's gone.

[Iloveautumnleaves]

Why are so many posters asking about ‘Sam’s’ weight?

It’s irrelevant
It’s shallow
It’s not any better for anyone else to eat chocolate/mince pies etc

...you’re only asking so you can feel superior, or envious of her if she’s not I suppose, but ffs, what’s the obsession with weight, when it’s in NO way relevant to the annoying behaviour?

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

Instead of leaving them out for a long period of time, take the chocolates out, offer them around and then put them away.

If Sam or anyone else wants more, let Sam or anyone else have to ask for more.

You could decide to offer them around more than once in the afternoon but it is done by offering not leaving them as a free for all.

[GloryforGloves]

To be honest, I feel sorry for Sam. I have a problem with mindless eating and once I’ve started I just want to continue eating.

To deal with it I have to be very self disciplined and have nothing at all or take something at the end of the day. I’ve moved to a different desk on my return from mat leave and that really helped, but if it’s left on my desk I will struggle to ignore it. I am a healthy weight incidentally but it is difficult to maintain sometimes.

But then, I do also have a Sam in our office too, which is fine (helps me massively if the snacks aren’t there to eat). But she also brings in lots of things to share too.

I don’t think you should limit what others take but I think it is difficult to not mindlessly eat if the food is quite literally in front of you. Can it be put somewhere where you’d need to make an effort to fetch it?

[amusedbush]

She might have a binge eating disorder and the placement of that food might not be helping her at all.

I have binge eating disorder (formally diagnosed, have had therapy in the past) and I do not do this. BED by nature is very secretive with lots of embarrassment and guilt, so I'd never let colleagues know how much I eat during a binge.

We have a Sam in our office and it's really unfair on other people. She once filled up tupperware with food that a colleague had brought in to take home for her kid!

[bruce43mydog]

Just put them in your desk. I work in a office environment and when they leave chocolate and cakes it's too tempting to not have a chocolate. She's obviously is struggling with the amount she should eat and I say this as a person who also struggles. So do her a favour and leave them out of sight. Or if that feels mean offer her one and say everyone else has eaten the rest. She might be depressed so uses food as a comfort. She might have grown up poor and not had a lot of nice treats. There is always a reason. So try not to judge we all have addictions of some sort