Is my colleague being greedy...

[maddiemookins16mum]

Sit on a bank of four desks at work, over the last week or so we’ve started having Christmassy treats, chocolates, mince pies etc and put them in the middle area of the four desks. Colleague (we’ll call her Sam) is pretty much eating 80% of it. Yesterday we got a box of naice posh mince pies, 6 of them. By lunchtime, I’d had one, my other colleague had one and Sam had three. I got sent a box of chocolates from a supplier, who Sam doesn’t need to deal with etc, I put them in the middle, opened them at 4pm and had one, Sam had two. Other colleague left at 4.30pm and I went to a meeting. By 5.15 the top layer of 12 chocolates had gone, all eaten by Sam. Would i be unreasonable to put them in my drawer this morning! Of course I don’t mind her sharing, we all do, but she’s pretty much devouring the lot.

I remember one time I had been to a Diwali party. I was on a night shift ( driver) I took a load of samosas, pakoras etc into the factory for the staff to share. One lady whipped out a ziplock and proceeded to bag the entire bounty. I was utterly lost for words.

Hilarious the woman ate 12 chocolates and she is a food addict only on MN.

Don't you think it's just a bit weird to act as though snacks must be shared out exactly equally among adults, when not everyone will want the same amount, the same things, or any at all?

One of the worst things about the toxic relationship a lot of women have with food is their belief that every other woman shares it - this idea that women enjoying food, eating without the ritual observance that to eat for sheer pleasure is 'naughty' and that they might GET FAT and that to be fat is the worst thing in the world...

And anyone who is a bit bigger than normal is already aware of that fact, because people never stop pointing it to to them, just in case they had forgotten that they are FAT - to have work colleagues whining on about what they eat and watching every bite they take is pretty dreadful.

ZenNudist that sounds dreadful. How hideously rude, passive-aggressive and embarrassing for everyone present.

I'd much rather share space with a compulsive eater than a spiteful-with-a-smile cow who makes pointed remarks every time someone helps themselves to a biscuit.

When I used to take home-made stuff in I was chuffed when people ate it. Am also very grateful I don't work in an office any more, and probably never will again. Ugh.

You sound nice, ZenNudist. And also an HR nightmare. Hope you don’t work for me.

Zen nudist, are you stupid? I mean, so dim you couldn't light up a mouse cage? ( I'm saying this in a light hearted, good natured way so you won't possibly be able to tell I really mean it!)

You can't possibly believe people won't be able to tell that catalogue of spiteful barbs aren't seriously meant?
If you do, there are a whole lot more people who don't actually like you than you think.

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Zen, has anybody ever talked to you about your delivery? It needs shelving and never brought to light again.

This bit isn't to you but honestly? I think some women (and it is particularly women) absolutely revel in being able to be derogatory about what other people eat. To effect this, they bring in food on the premise that it's 'for everybody'. They don't specify one each or anything sensible like that, they just plonk them on a table and smile beatifically whilst counting every morsel. It's entrapment almost and so utterly pathetic.

If people over-subscribing to what you bring in upsets you so much then just STOP. But you won't, will you? Because being able to rub your thighs at the thought of bitching about them is just too much joy for you. Sad.

Give - or don't give - but if you give then give freely. Or not at all. Nobody cares that much about your 'treats' that are accompanied with a side of bitters.

I hope this thread does hit the press, even the gutter press, that HR people see it and put a stop to the insidious nonsense.

I find this all a bit odd

I work in an office full of greedy bastards. Anything is fair game, and nothing ever lasts.

No one gets offended or upset if something gets eaten. We find it funny.

Maybe some people on here need to lighten up?

Sam's definitely a pie scooper. I would put a bathroom scales next to her desk and a white board recording who has snaffled what..

I very occasionally put things out to share. I wouldn't dream of policing who eats what but luckily the office is large enough that nobody really gets into this minutiae of what others are doing. And we are a bit busy anyway. Simple answer: stop putting stuff out if you don't like people eating it.

I'm always amazed with the self satisfied vitriol some women throw with the word greedy. I find it quite enlightening that they revel in such a nasty thought process and consider it not just acceptable but actually virtuous

I can understand some consternation when the behaviour is extreme like packing things up in a Tupperware box to take home because that's causing a genuine issue for others

But counting someone's food choices as an actual tally to decided whether to judge ? That's genuinely sad and troubling

We have sweets and chocs out at the moment at work and I rarely touch them to be frank ,mainly because I'm run off my feet this time of year but also because I just happen not to fancy them but if anyone made comments about how much a person ate from them they would be viewed as a nasty petty person

My company is small enough this would genuinely affect how they were viewed to be so petty and point scoring , I suspect one of us would be having a quiet word about not bringing the food out if it was theirs and to consider how appropriate it was as a team member to be so judgemental

It's really quite sad that you have found this way of undermining the spirit of Christmas

I assume she’s overweight constantly eating all that crap? If not I’m very jealous.

Just don’t put them out. I have no idea why work places need to constantly put out fattening foods over the Christmas period when there is already enough at home anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Reps leave me chocolates as I do their expenses. I’m happy to share but often don’t even see the chocs as the greedy shit has opened them before I get to work as I’m PT and eaten all (bar one strawberry cream usually)

That's CFery of the highest order - OPENING your chocs!

I'd definitely call the greedy bitch out on this one!

Snacks are VEAK! Bourgeois pigs! Here at the South London Workers' Collective, we despise snacks and dig our own turnips for sustenance

How dare you judge snackers Cromer - I've seen your collective on their nights out, gorging on raw parsnips and though there was no tomorrow, and stuffing their faces on swede peelings!

Your gluttony sickens me! Sickens!

We have a Sam in our office and it's really unfair on other people. She once filled up tupperware with food that a colleague had brought in to take home for her kid!

I would call that CF-ery

we had a sam in my old place of work, we would hear him stampeding past the desks to get to the left over food from the meeting rooms, he was a very high up well paid executive that could easily afford to put his hand in his pocket to buy lunch but he was always there eating everything up after the meetings ended. I would be surprised if he arranged his day around their end times so he could snaffle it all. The PA who prepared the lunches for the meetings, said she once caught him in the kitchen area eating sandwiches she had just prepared for a big conference, so he got there even before the meeting had started.

"Why shouldnt op.be annoyed when 'Sam' eats so many other people arent getting any?"

But the other people obviously could take them, but don't. They need to get there before Sam, that's all.
If something is left on a communal table it's 'help yourself' not, take an exact share.

Jena that's so funny!

Keep them in your drawer and pass them round every now and then.

I've been at work events where food was supplied and at the end of it, people were encouraged to take any leftovers home. Not everyone is obsessed with preventing other people from eating what they want...

We had a lovely new HR woman once. She thought it would be good for staff morale if there was a buffet lunch provided once a week, set up in each departments kitchen. It lasted a month as she got so sick of the complaining about who had eaten too much, who hadn’t had their fair share, who felt left out as they were part time on that day and yes, the people who brought in Tupperware to save lunch for another day.... There are no shared foods in our office and anything left in the kitchen is at your own risk. I think food brings out the worst in some people.

I once belonged to a local history group, There was always a buffet at christmas after the monthly meeting,
I made some things as did quite a few people so there was a good 'spread' I also took a roll of clingfilm for wrapping stuff up.
Towards the end of the evening a few of us were clearing up in the kitchen when the group leader says if anyone any left overs please help yourself,,,
I kid you not,,,,there was a stampede of old ladies through the door,,Grabbing at stuff ,pushing and shoving, One old doll tried to wrestle the cling film from me to wrap her loot in.

What a palarva

I'm now (thankfully) self employed, but every office I've ever worked in has had the following Christmas Snack Police:

The Sanctimonious One
Nothing will ever be healthy enough for her. Even a bag of satsumas gets a tut because snacking between meals is bad for your teeth. Bringing in a tub of Celebrations is the moral equivalent of pushing crack to children. For bonus points she will in any event be gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, palm oil free and enjoyment free.

The Dieter
Christmas is coming, and she's not getting fat. She is on the fourth of her four annual diets (first quarter: self-denial and misery; second quarter: no-carbing before the summer holiday; third quarter: blood type diet, fourth quarter: the "thin before Christmas" plan she found in a magazine.) She can tell you exactly how many calories, grams of carbohydrate and Syns are in a Terry's chocolate orange, and she will. At length.

The Mrs Doyle
Oh, she really, really mustn't. OH, it's so bad for her, and OH so naughty. No, really, honestly, she shouldn't, she already had half a chocolate digestive three years ago. Oh they do look nice though, and it is Christmas after all.... oh no, she mustn't, really, oooh take the temptation away. Oh. Go on then. Just the one. [repeat forever]

The Beady Eyed Observer
Her face moves only imperceptibly but she is counting those mince pies. She knows exactly how many items there are in any box of treats and has already done the mental arithmetic to work out how many that is for each person. She's also keeping a silent tally (possibly a spreadsheet) of who bags the 'nice' treats. She'll harbour this knowledge forever. Possibly on spreadsheets.

The Hoover
She has no control and gives zero fucks. It's Christmas. For two weeks of the year she can gorge on cheap chocolate, and this is presently the only thing stopping her from stabbing The Mrs Doyle through the eye with a letter-opener. The Sanctimonious One and The Dieter aren't eating them anyway and she secretly enjoys watching The Beady Eyed Observer silently twitching every time she reaches for another chocolate almond. It'll get her through until home time when she can be reunited with her functional alcoholism.

The Desk Tidy
A constant well of efficiency, she is the only person who can defeat the Hoover. She will wait until everyone has had a single treat, which means she has to go and listen to the tedious self-persuasion from Mrs Doyle, and then brightly announce that these should be tidied away now. Vaguely connected to a failed affair with a French philosopher, her motive for tidying away cake until it goes mouldy and has to be thrown away before the disappointed gaze of the Hoover is a mystery even to her.

This thread is depressing (except Laura's post above!). Adults who have food placed in front of them will eat or not eat at different rates. Some graze, others don't. Either say something or move them.

This