Someone bought an elf for DD

[Yabbers]

Got a call from school today, a staff member was talking with DD yesterday and DD told her she was going to write to Santa to ask for an elf on the shelf.

Staff member bought one and left it at her desk this morning so DD thinks Santa has done as she asked.

I've a huge problem with the whole elf thing, happy for others to do it, it's just not for us.

We're under a lot of pressure for a number of reasons and now we've
got to spend each bloody night doing something with this damned elf. AiBU to be really pissed off that someone else has done this to us?

[JeezYouLoon]

Thankfully my DCs are older now so we missed the whole Elf thing.

However when they were little I remember people saying to them 'be good as Father Christmas is watching you' I always added, so am I and I know far more than Father Christmas and I had the final say as to whether they got any presents.

Yes, I maybe a humbug but I wanted my DCs to behave for me not just to get presents!

[Perfectly1mperfect]

Pinkyyy

Thanks. I wasn't concerned, the teacher is really well respected and I think just genuinely wanted to acknowledge my daughters kindness. I can see why teachers have to be careful though and why the rule is in place. I really didn't question it at the time.

[Runningishard]

A bit off topic but someone on FB I went to school with continues this even though her daughter is now in senior school. Starts with a great big personalised balloon and only moves it after she’s in bed. Said she’s trying to keep the magic alive for as long as possible, also posts “why do little girls have to grow boobies (crying face)”. She was a bit of an early starter and a rebel at school so I wonder is she trying to have a second go vicariously.

[Perfectly1mperfect]

Runningishard

I think most kids at secondary would not want an elf. I would imagine the girl is pretty embarrassed. As for the comment on Facebook about girls growing up , very odd.

[Runningishard]

Yeah it’s odd perfectly. The mum herself is very streetwise so would know you’d think. I think she’s living a more innocent life than she lived, through her kid. Can see her kid going through a major rebellion!

[Fairenuff]

Maybe there is some kind of listening device inside the elf OP. Be careful what you say - teacher Santa is watching you.

[MumW]

Why not just scrap Father Christmas, in fact no scrap Christmas as a whole, I mean what with all the pressure.
Please, can we, really, pretty please?
Bah humbug

[cheesemongery]

My ex bought DD one last year whilst my Nan was dying in hospital - he got VERY short shrift!! Do you think I've got the time or the energy for this shit?!!!

Wish I'd binned him last year, alas...

With regards to the staff member - completely not on, I'd be raising it with the head. Love the idea of leaving it at school - class elf!

[LaurieMarlow]

frankly they don't care about elf on the shelf, they care if they get to watch a Christmas movie together, or make Christmas cookies.

Nice generalising there. Surely you've noticed all children are different.

My DS adores the elf. He got up at 5.30 this morning because he was so excited about where it was hiding. He couldn't give a shit about Christmas movies, he's not into films.

Back to the OP, while I think the teacher massively overstepped the mark, I would do the elf if you think your daughter would enjoy it. It doesn't have to be a big production, the simple ideas work really well.

[Strokethefurrywall]

Yes exactly and my post was a response to a poster stating that OPs child would "love" elf on the shelf.

My kids couldn't give a rats. So yes, exactly all kids are different. And surprisingly, all parents are different.

I'm flat out not going to do elf on the shelf, not because I don't have time but because I pure can't be arsed.

But I do a Christmas Eve box and I arrange for Santa to visit all the kids in our complex. So we all do things to make our kids happy - elf on the shelf isn't the be all and end all and it shouldn't bloody matter that OP doesn't want to do it, she shouldn't have to justify why.

[Juicer54321]

Slightly odd that a teacher bought one. But seriously it’s no hassle . Just move it into s fifferebt place st night. I don’t bother with any of the more detailed elf shenanigans.

[hazeyjane]

Can't we be crackheads as well as elf movers??

No we can't sadly, that's the whole point - you either create magic or just arse about destroying magic. That's the way the world works on AIBU

The only thing I have done for Christmas is put a big sheet up spray painted with the words 'Fuck Christmas'

[chocolatecoveredraisons]

Sorry that would be a safeguarding issue for me.

I once had a staff member give a present to a child with SEN- she did it for various reasons. We all agreed to keep said toys on school. If she wanted him to have it at home, she could have given it to mum.

It smacks of grooming and singling out for special attention and quite frankly, she is making herself vulnerable. This should never have been done.

[MrsDrudge]

When the staff member contacted you, did they ask your permission to buy the elf for your DD? If not then I agree with PP that you could suggest to Staff Member it stays at school and is the class Elf and can be moved around by teacher. You can explain to DD that Santa brought it to school rather than home, so it’s intended for all the children.
Have to say it’s rather strange behaviour by the staff member, unless there is a miscommunication and it is meant for all the children.

[RebelWitchFace]

Can't we be crackheads as well as elf movers??


Magic dust for all!!

[LaurieMarlow]

my post was a response to a poster stating that OPs child would "love" elf on the shelf.

And many, many kids do.

I think every parent should do whatever the hell they like, but to suggest that kids as a generality don't care about the elf (which is what your post said whether you meant that or not) is silly. Loads of them love it. And it's not difficult to see the appeal.

[Jeeperscreepers69]

When did it become weird and boundary crossing for a teacher to buy a child a present. Not everyone is a pervert. Sad people think like that it makes people feel uncomfortable picking a child up after a fall for fear of peodo screams. The poor teacher. Christ if it was a man teacher all hell will break.loose he will be arrested!!!@#@!

[PawneeParksDept]

Not everyone is a pervert

No of course not - but rules are there for a reason.

It's like in care settings - they can't accept or give gifts for any reason because of what they MIGHT be accused of, even if the person they care for has full capacity

[Fairenuff]

Jeepers it's just standard safeguarding. Nothing to get alarmed about. Yes, 99% of the time people are just being friendly but there are procedures in place to try and prevent harm to children and this a good thing. All school staff know this.

[LondonLassInTheNorthPole]

A chore?

Pressure?


It takes afew minutes of an evening and gives your child such joy in the morning.

You dont even have to think that hard, they have loads of ideas on line!

[MilkyCuppa]

Very surprised the staff member has singled a child out to receive a gift. It’s weird, I wouldn’t let my DC accept it.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

Wrap it's leg in fabric and tell her it broke it leg and is on bed rest 😂
Mine cost £1 from the pound shop and my kids love it, I don't set it up in funny positions I must move it to a different side each night and they think it's magic.

[nameiswigglywoo]

YANBU! It's a bit odd to just get one. What if you'd actually got her one for Christmas as she'd asked.

DS came back from Nannys with an elf taller than he is. "I thought he'd like an elf so that you can move it every night like everyone else does". It's huge and I've tripped over the thing twice now.

DS is just 2 so doesn't understand right now. I also have a teething 5 month old that doesn't sleep and DH works ridiculously long hours.

I couldn't hide my glee when the bloody elf got destroyed after a gentle machine wash following the horrific sickness bug we've had.

[ShalomJackie]

I am going to tell my DS to let his teacher know he hasn't got a macbook .....

[LaurieMarlow]

I am going to tell my DS to let his teacher know he hasn't got a MacBook