To not take responsibility for the Christmas tree getting trashed

[Weinachten]

I live about 7 hrs drive away from my parents with my 3 children (including a 15 month old) and my DH.

My brother lives on his own about 10 mins from my mum and dad and traditionally we all and stay at my parents for the Christmas / New Year period.

We moved house recently (still 7 hrs from my parents) and as we now had plenty of room (and a 15 month old + DS6 and DS8) we thought it would be nice for them all to come to us for Christmas. My mum declined saying it wasn’t fair to ask my brother to travel all that way and so to keep the peace, we reluctantly agreed to keep up the tradition and go to theirs.

I’m now thinking about all the hassle of traveling there, the baby sleeping in a travel cot (which is now too small for him) in our room... and all so that my brother doesn’t have to travel!!

I also know that the baby will be into everything - pulljng at decorations, grabbing at the Christmas tree and I’ll probably be super grumpy as he won’t sleep in the cot etc.

So please talk me out of being a stroppy teenager and saying ‘they (ie my parents) wanted Christmas there, they’re responsible for making sure the baby doesn’t attack the Christmas tree / decorations etc.

Finally would it be unreasonable to lay down a marker now saying we’re doing Christmas at home next year - and they’re all welcome to join or not as they please.

What do you want to do op? Take everything else out of the equation? Don't you have friends you want to see over Christmas?

To be honest, nothing will change next year either - your parents will probably expect the same so you need to accept that you will probably ruffle a few feathers. Time to start as you mean to go on!

How much of an uncle is he to the kids ?
Arrive - hand them over and enjoy

7 hours drive to have your toddler sleep in a corridor. sounds tempting!

So you could have a lovely Christmas in your own home, with no worries about trees being trashed, sleeping in your own bed, no seven hour drive...
I say go for it! Start the new tradition this year. [santa]

We've put our foot down this year and refused to travel (3 hours on Xmas morning.) Means my parents are spending Christmas Day without their grandkids. I'm hoping it will start a change as every year they say we should do it differently and then they don't.

Can you talk to your brother? Sounds like ypur parents are too scared and are carrying assumptions about his response. Just text jim or call him;

"Hey bro, this year we are doing xmas here at our new house, we would love you to be here, kids all excited to have it here and want their uncle to come and stay."

Take it from there.

Or tell him youve already started elf om the shelf in the new house so you csnt come up or kids will know its not real

Missed your post about the money.
OP, I still think I would do Christmas at home.

You are always going to be in the wrong, in their eyes, while they seem to bend over backwards for your brother.

I very much doubt they will be OK with you not coming to them next year. You are going to have a year of guilt tripping hell from them...........

I would bite the bullet and stay home THIS year - much less time spent moaning etc.

We used to put the tree, the presents and anything else we wanted to keep out of harm's way into a large wooden play pen, the sort you can get on eBay or Gumtree. If your parents have the room for it, that could keep your children and the decorations apart. We used it all year round, even in the garden. Loved it.

Hmmm...I think because they gave you $$$ for the house and you agreed this year already so to keep the peace I’d go this year.
But yanbu, definitely put your foot down for next year because 7 hours for 3 adults is easier than 2 adults 2 children and a mountain of plastic.

If they aren’t amenable I’d do Christmas at home on your own and leave them to it