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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL demands a ‘tour ‘every single time she visits

248 replies

bringincrazyback · 06/12/2018 13:20

No, this isn’t a MIL-bashing thread as such, I’d be annoyed if anyone did what I’m about to describe, but I do have to say that my MIL’s ways do test my patience at times.

She’s due to visit at the weekend, and as always, I am somewhat dreading it. She demands a ‘tour’ of the house EVERY time she visits, regardless of whether we have changed anything since her last visit or not. The house is a big old Victorian pile which we love and which people are always quite excited to see, but with four cats, me working from home, suffering from chronic fatigue and caring for my parents part-time, a pathologically messy DH and my parents renting part of the house from us, the fact is that I don’t want people to see every single room, as I’m pretty much the only person in the house who does much in the way of cleaning or tidying (my parents can’t due to various disabilities, and DH barely lifts a finger, because cleaning and tidying are for ‘uptight’ people in his opinion. Oh, and ‘no one notices either way’, apparently. Except that his own mother VERY MUCH notices.)

It’s really MIL's attitude that's the problem, as the 'tours' are actually thinly-disguised inspections during which it always appears she is actively looking for things to criticise. Her own standards of cleanliness and tidiness are extremely high, and she frequently refers to people who don’t subscribe to her own high standards as lazy. We do show people around the house a little, and show them some of the rooms, but not all. I consider bedrooms, for example, to be private (on her last visit MIL demanded to be shown my parents’ bedroom!!!) and I won’t show people rooms which are cluttered or messy, and there are always a couple of those in our house, because with so much on my plate it’s just not possible for me to keep everything pristine, even with a cleaner coming in every couple of weeks.

I think I could see MIL wanting to see the whole house if we'd changed anything in it since her last visit, lol - but she had the full tour the first time (Highlights: 'You'll have to get rid of that awful carpet', 'You need to do x, y, z to the garden ', 'You'll be redecorating the whole house, of course ') and the second after we’d had a LOT of work done ('I see you've still got that awful carpet', 'I'd have thought you'd have ripped those wardrobes out', 'You need to get the exterior repainted') so she’s seen everything now and I really couldn't work out what the deal was with wanting to see Every Single Room again last time and acting like a spoilt child when she couldn't.

Highlights of her last visit: starting to pull branches off one of our trees because 'they need to come off', opening every cupboard and looking into it, sniffily remarking 'Oh, well, the garden's looking a bit better now' in front of my mum and dad who put a LOT of time and effort into making this garden look great when they were more able-bodied, opening cupboards and looking into them, and - the piece de resistance - pulling the classic 'trailing finger along dusty surface, then looking at finger' move. Basically, the more stuff she sees, the more she finds to criticise, so it's easier for my blood pressure if I can limit the amount of criticisms of my home that she's able to find. When did it become socially acceptable to demand a ‘tour’ the second one arrives in someone else’s home? And then whine when said ‘tour’ doesn’t extend to every single room in the house? frowny face

AIBU to be dreading her visit? And, more importantly, AIBU not to let her roam around our home at will, especially given how critical she is?

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 06/12/2018 14:03

Leave something ultra embarrassing on the bed, then hopefully it would throw her so much she wouldn't ask for another tour/make comments on everything.

This would make life interesting...... Grin

TatianaLarina · 06/12/2018 14:07
  1. Just say no

  2. Get a cleaner.

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 06/12/2018 14:08

What a long post. Some covert - or not so covert - boasting chucked in there too.

Bloody hell you must have a chip on your shoulder the size of the titanic!

Panicwiththebisto · 06/12/2018 14:10

I think we have the same MIL!

I'm tempted to give her clipboard with a sheet headed "Comments on Panic's housekeeping" and tell her she can fill it in and share it with everyone back home.

TranmereRover · 06/12/2018 14:11

my own mother does this, but I am able to tell her that she's rude. Get your DH to do that part for you.

Seafoodeatit · 06/12/2018 14:11

Two separate issues - boundaries and your DH's attitude. She can't have a tour, tell her in plain terms that you don't want to offer a tour and she can take it how she likes, you're all adults and nobody is entitled to bully others into submission. Your dh needs to pull his weight and you need to pull him up on why he does so little, either he does more or pays up for a cleaner.

TatianaLarina · 06/12/2018 14:12

Is she boasting about the chronic fatigue, messy house, arsed MIL or crap husband?.Confused

TatianaLarina · 06/12/2018 14:12

arsey

MrsMWA · 06/12/2018 14:14

My MIL does this, except my house is immaculate but she finds fault anyway. It is pure petty jealousy. Ignore her.

GodrestyemerrySchadenfreud · 06/12/2018 14:14

"yes, DH is very messy isn't he, I blame the parents" with a cold stare should do it

Dame Fanny

Classic response!

KingLooieCatz · 06/12/2018 14:15

Indeed, I came close to providing DFIL with a Comments book like a hotel. I had no intention of ever looking at it. He doesn't do that thing any more as it happens, just when DS was a baby and we had just had loads of work done in the new house. My other thoughts were to pass him a duster and say thanks very much, very kind of you to offer, or if done in the absence of DH to immediately call out loudly "DH! Your Dad I'm not working hard enough, could you have a word with him please?" or words to that effect.

Purplestorm83 · 06/12/2018 14:15

Sounds like your MIL is jealous of your gorgeous home and is making herself feel better by picking it apart. I prefer a cluttered home tbh, I like it to look lived in 😄

startingafresh1 · 06/12/2018 14:15

Your standards of tidiness are very different to your MIL's- fact! I'm with you all the way and I'm similar to you.

Maybe it's best to just face this fact, and keep it simple, and tell her that you have different thoughts about these things. You respect hers, you would appreciate it if she respected yours....

Don't try to fit into the mound that she expects you to. It's likely that she woke find fault even if you called in an army of professional cleaners. Just keep being you and try to feel ok with that.

You sound like you are doing a great job juggling a busy life full of commitments.

Your DH could no doubt be more helpful, but that is a separate issue.

KingLooieCatz · 06/12/2018 14:16

Your Dad says... that should have been.

GodrestyemerrySchadenfreud · 06/12/2018 14:18

Just as a matter of interest - do you et the full tour of her gracious home (including, obviously, her knicker drawer) whenever you visit her?

brizzledrizzle · 06/12/2018 14:18

katekat, your mil and dh all sound like they are the same kind of rude and inconsiderate.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 06/12/2018 14:22

Has anyone suggested the "How to emigrate to Australia" paperwork on the bed yet?

Nobody has ever asked to tour our house. And it is VICTORIAN!

Same here. When we had a new bathroom recently, I was practically begging workmen to use the loo so I could show it off!

KissedByFire · 06/12/2018 14:27

It's not really about the tour, is it? It's about her being a rude batch about your house (using a paper-thin excuse)

Exactly so. What a rude MIL

tryinganewname · 06/12/2018 14:36

Just say no. If she goes on after that, day 'well DH will have to show you around, I don't have time'.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 06/12/2018 14:43

Pffftt, honestly the older I get the less patience I have for cheeky fuckers. When she asks for the tour just give her a Paddington Bear hard stare then carry on with whatever you were doing and completely ignore her when she brings it up.

Either that or start getting creative: create a faux sex chamber or hell, just line up a few massive dildos/bondage gear somewhere obvious then when she clocks said stuff and is gawping, blithely say whilst running a finger over to check for dust “yeah, sorry about the dust it’s a right bugger isn’t it? Youd have thought rubber and leather would cause less dust? Total pain in the arse.”

Grin
thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 06/12/2018 14:44

Actually is she scared of ghosts? You could get a few mates to hide about the house throwing things about and leaving all your kitchen draws open and piling chairs on tables.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 06/12/2018 14:46

I wouldn’t entertain it. Fuck that, seems awkward to give a tour but then again, I live a a three bed council house lol. Your husbands needs to start cleaning. Fair enough if he doesn’t see the point but I rather suspect he says that because his standards are low and so any cleaning you do he will be happy with. You like the house cleaner so he needs to compromise and actually help. I’d also make him greet his mother and see if she asks for a tour and watch his response.

shearwater · 06/12/2018 14:46

A tour every time?

I'd say "Why, have you forgotten where the toilet is?"

onthenaughtystepagain · 06/12/2018 14:46

Do you have some military music you can play, loudly, when she comes? When the children were young they used to say 'Stand by your beds' when a Grandma was coming, she would check their rooms.

ichifanny · 06/12/2018 14:47

I’d just say
‘ I won’t be giving you a tour this time as it’s too untidy’
And leave it at that and change the subject .