To want school to stop sending dc home?

[mollycoddlethem]

So DC in reception.
In the 12 ish weeks they have been there they have been sent home 4 times.
Then I get a pissy letter re their attendance.
The 4 reasons they have been sent home -

1. They were tired on one occasion. Not falling asleep, but just looked a bit tired and wanted to sit and look at books in the reading corner.
2. They had tummy ache. No temperature, no runny poo, no other symptoms. Mentioned twice their tummy hurt. They were fine when they got home and ate an entire school dinner before still being sent home.
3. Sickness bug (completely understand this one)
4. A cough. No temp, other symptoms. Just a cough and complaining about their cough.

In preschool they got sent home perhaps once over the year. Surely schools should not be sending kids home for a cough? Now I lose a days pay because I need to go and collect. I understand that they are very little, but after 2 years of being in preschool and coping with coughs, colds, snotty noses etc I’m sure that DC would have been able to manage another 2 hours at school with a cough. My child can be a bit of a wimp and to be honest if given sympathy they play on it. In the nicest possible way I find that telling them to man up is the best thing to do and to distract them.

@Topseyt @Elfinablender 😂😂😂

DS didn't want to come home but the teacher insisted, maybe couldn't handle the smell. But DD has missed out on spending the afternoon setting up for the Christmas fair.

My DSes' school is inconsistent.

First year - DS1 was sick almost every day (severe reflux triggered from anxiety about going to school) --> they accepted him no problem and never sent him home

Third year - sent home a couple of times with tummy ache, but he had a tummy ache for 6 weeks due to intestinal ganglions so 2 days out of 30 wasn't bad

Fourth year - he had a tummy ache and was sick numerous times for 9 months. Teacher told him he was putting it on and just kept shouting at him. Never sent him home. Eventually diagnosed with abdominal migraines

Fifth year - so far been sent home 4 times. 2 with a migraine (fair enough, it came on at school), 1 cos of a heavy cold (after he'd already been off 3 days so I didn't want him to miss more) and 1 cos he'd been sick.

The last one turned out to be because of antibiotics - he was fine for the rest of the day, sick again after his evening antibiotics, so i sent him back the next day.

I'm not so bothered about my work (as I can work from home fairly easily) but I am bothered about him missing so much school as he then finds it hard to catch up. The migraines we are doing our best but he will always get them, so I don't want him to miss extra school because of a cold.

One of my DDs regularly used to fall asleep in the afternoon in reception during the first term and no one suggested I pick her up! I would be very pissed off by these reasons (apart from the sickness bug) especially when it involves not getting paid and you child being fine. Threads like this give me a warm fuzzy feeling for our school who are so keen on keeping attendance up that no one gets sent home unless actually sick. Although there was an occasion when the school shut due to a power cut on a summer's day because "No hot lunches could be served"

Mine would never be in. When he was in mainstream he used to get sent home with d and v because of one soft poo ( not toilet trained and wore pads) and no vomiting. Of course he missed the next two days as well. It happened at least once a month.

It really irritates me when schools enforce absences and then send a letter of concern about the absences they have insisted on.

I thought the whole point of comfy cushions in the Reception classroom reading corner was precisely so tired 4/5 year olds could have a sleep

YABU pre school is childcare, school isn't.
You have to be prepared to collect from school when they are ill.
It's hard to teach a class when you have an ill child needing to be cared for.
It may have only been a cough but she obviously needed caring for.

It's a hard adjustment in reception esp for younger kids. In NI our kids finish at 12 until Halloween then 2pm which is a much easier intro. Even with this poor dc2 often had a kip in the quiet corner (or headmistresses office if he got stressed out) after lunch. School asked if I minded them letting him sleep (which i didnt) as he was in bed for 7pm anyway. He just really struggled with school at the start being the youngest

My daughters high school keeps doing this to me for minor mishaps at school! I explained its 4wks until Christmas I can't miss out on work to come get her! I said if she is really sick with a temp,throwing up etc,then I will come pick her up! Otherwise no or Christmas this year will be horrible! I also explained this to my daughter, she is 15yrs old! Annoying!

Macey I think its your DD playing up and wanting to go home. At 15 she should be wanting to be at school learning for her GCSE's.

It’s a school, not a child minder. If the school judges that your reception class child is not up to learning for a whole day, they should send them home.

No, they shouldn't. Children of compulsory school age are entitled by law to full time education, and schools should only send them home if they think they are too ill to be in school. Being a bit tired really doesn't satisfy the legal tests on this. Children under compulsory school age obviously don't have to be in school full time, but if schools are over-eager about sending them home they risk being guilty of things like disability discrimination.

It used to really annoy me when DS was in Infants, they sent them home if their little finger hurt. Move on to Junior school DS fell on ice & landed badly on his wrist, result a very swollen wrist, unable to move his fingers, he was forced to use his hand to write & do PE involving throwing & catching. School rang me to tell me that he had fallen & that he was being a "drama queen" complaining about the pain, that I didn't need to collect him as there was nothing wrong with him. At home time he came staggering out of school grey, in tears & almost fainting, I took him straight to A & E, after X ray he was diagnosed with a badly fractured wrist, placed in plaster to return to fracture clinic the next day. I was livid & made a complaint to the Head, I never got an apology.

It’s a school, not a child minder. If the school judges that your reception class child is not up to learning for a whole day, they should send them home. They need to focus on teaching, not child care.

No really people this is not the attitude to have. If your child is ill don't send them to the childminders, where you risk infecting the other children and the childminder. Not a good attitude to have!

send them home by all means but then do not have the cheek to complain about their absence figures.

Oh dear Blue hindsight is a wonderful thing. My DN did same thing and had fractured a neck bone. Seemed fine when sent home but deteriorated later and was admitted to hospital with paralysis a real concern. I don't think schools send children home for their own amusement.

Probably a bit late now but I second taking them back. My eldest was great at convincing teachers he wasn't well, he even managed to make himself look pale and ill. He'd get home and then be full of beans so I told the teacher and they said in future if he's like it, bring him back. It didn't happen again...

@Hubbleisback I'm sorry that happened to your DN. I have spoken to the head when picking up DS and she told me that it was school policy to send them home for head and neck injuries. Fair enough my bad. Popped DD into the docs on the way home, said everything seems fine.

This policy must've been a recent change because you only used to get a phone call for head and neck injuries, unless they were worried about concussion etc.

I also don't think children are sent home for the school's own amusement either.

I have known people drop really ill children off at school because they had an appointment for a manicure. Always two sides to every story!! Think we need some give and take and consideration on both sides.

Total opposite of our school then! We had a parents meeting earlier this year telling us that we should send DC to school even if they were under the weather and school would send them back home if they thought it appropriate .

The only time we shouldn't send them is if they have D&V.

That would annoy me too OP. Raise it with them and tell them about the puppy dog eyes. Say that you're happy for them to ring to let you know how he is but that you would like him to stay in school unless he is poorly, not just a bit off.

Maybe theyve had complaints before about not sending kids home.

Are you nearby and do they know that? I found when I didn't work or wfh I got a lot more calls than when school knew no-one could get there in under an hour.

Schools cant cope they don't have the money or the staff to give help to and teach the children at the same time.

I agree with madmum that's what the school told us let them judge if its okay for them to remain in school or be sent home. Which in this case the school has done that they don't feel that her child should be in school. That's on them not on the op. Ofsted and teachers are telling parents they are not going to raise your child they are there to teach and that is that. Teachers are already under pressure complaining to them will not help.

That does sound over-zealous. DS (5) was complaining of a tummy ache today and doing sad puppy dog eyes, but that was probably significantly due to me being in reading. I've not heard from them since I went home mid-morning.

I've had to pick up DS (7) when he felt dizzy once. After an hour on the sofa, he was grand. He would have been fine to return.

Sometimes, particularly for younger children, it would be good if they could go in slightly later or have a break then return to pep them up and get most of the day in school. There's not much point when being in registration only is what defines attendance (as I discovered when DS1 missed 100% attendance for 90 mins due to an x-ray following a trip in class the previous day. Taking 2.5 hours after pulling him out at 9.10 would have counted as present instead, but those are the hoops the schools jump through )

🤔 I presume the school ring you and say ‘they seem a bit tired can you pick up?’

When they do this I would be answering ‘I’m not sure that tiredness warrants coming home, especially when the school is so concerned about their attendance. I did receive a letter about it but this is the 5/6/7th time you’ve rang me to pick them up. If you really think they can’t possibly manage another hour or two at school then I’ll come and get them but I’d quite like to make an appointment to speak with the head as I am becoming quite concerned about how many times I am being asked to pick them up and then they are TOTALLY fine when I get them home.’