To want school to stop sending dc home?

[mollycoddlethem]

So DC in reception.
In the 12 ish weeks they have been there they have been sent home 4 times.
Then I get a pissy letter re their attendance.
The 4 reasons they have been sent home -

1. They were tired on one occasion. Not falling asleep, but just looked a bit tired and wanted to sit and look at books in the reading corner.
2. They had tummy ache. No temperature, no runny poo, no other symptoms. Mentioned twice their tummy hurt. They were fine when they got home and ate an entire school dinner before still being sent home.
3. Sickness bug (completely understand this one)
4. A cough. No temp, other symptoms. Just a cough and complaining about their cough.

In preschool they got sent home perhaps once over the year. Surely schools should not be sending kids home for a cough? Now I lose a days pay because I need to go and collect. I understand that they are very little, but after 2 years of being in preschool and coping with coughs, colds, snotty noses etc I’m sure that DC would have been able to manage another 2 hours at school with a cough. My child can be a bit of a wimp and to be honest if given sympathy they play on it. In the nicest possible way I find that telling them to man up is the best thing to do and to distract them.

Mine would never be in..
Tunmy ache is a difficult one as that could be thrle start of d&v. I had a call like that from nursery years ago and said ok well it could be xyz, she was promptly sick everywhere. And they were a bit rude about it.

Some coughs are that bad it can may them sick (or is a type of virus that causes cough/sickness and ear imfections).

Only 1 child. DC (darling child)
Trying not to out myself!
Child home now and running round full of beans.
Doesn’t even want to lie on the sofa watching tv as it’s “boring” apparently.

I think you need a word with your DCs teacher. Other than the sickness bug, there is really no reason for them to be at home. I'd tell her you are concerned at why they are sending DC home when they are perfectly able to be in school. Can they not call you to give them calpol etc?

Also when they get home make it super boring. Straight into bed with no toys, iPad, boring lunch etc and an early night.

My sister was called once cos her dd was complaining that her jumper was 'too scratchy'. She was working 2 hours away and had to leave...!! I think teachers should be able to deal with the 'normal' day-to-day of moans. If we were sick in school we were told to 'put our head down' which meant resting your head on your arms on the desk. Surely our kids need to learn a bit of resilience. It is tough enough on the young ones though, it's a long day for them. I think they do get tired with the routine of school etc etc.

TBH I always ask when the school ring asking me to pick DC up about how ill they are etc. Sometimes it is then decided they can stay, especially if it is only a couple of hours until pick up.

I might ask if I can get someone to run up and give calpol in future.
Not that I think calpol will help with a cough to be honest?

I think the OP not only is annoyed at the having to pick up for minor ailments but then, because of the school's insistence to pick up he child, they are berated about attendance. That's really not on.

My dc's school does this. I don't mind coming to pick them up but I do mind when the school then send me a letter moaning about their attendance.

I used to work for a doctor who got called to come pick his not-so- ill child up. He told them suuure, poor thing, I'll come right after the emergency patient who has just come in (was an excuse), then he was "almost finished" and then I had to call them that he was "on his way" (he wasn't) and he stretched "because of traffic" it till 10 minutes before normal pick up time, fussed his hair and ran round the block to look hurried before he got to the classroom. They never called him again. In the end, what can they do?

Take them back. I have done this before!

You need to have a direct word with the teacher and request they stop doing it. I would also become more forceful and say you can’t leave work to collect them unless it is absolutely vital and serious.

I had the exact same issue last year with my DS and I ended up having to have words with the teacher and also refusing to collect him once because I absolutely knew he was fine (and he was). They kept sending him home because he ‘looked a bit pale’ or ‘felt a bit hot’ . And you’re quite right, they then bitch on about attendance come the end of the year. It’s so stupid.

Child home now and running round full of beans.
Doesn’t even want to lie on the sofa watching tv as it’s “boring” apparently.

There's your problem right there.
Sick children don't go on the sofa watching tv. They go up to their darkened room to rest. Because they are sick. And they don't get to get out of bed at all until the following morning. Because they are sick. No toys, TV, tablets. Bland food and zero treats.

You hammer it home to them that when they go home sick, that's what happens. It has to be as boring as fuck for them otherwise they'll be doing this to you on a weekly basis.

@OutPinked this is exactly it.
Looks a bit pale, feels a bit warm (in the boiling hot classroom where they strip down to polo shirts even in winter), says tummy hurts, looks a bit tired etc etc.
None of these have resulted in illnesses, not even a virus etc.
Just being sent home for minor things.
In all fairness DC is quite snotty, just got them to blow their nose and it filled 3 tissues, but a 4 year old won’t blow their nose unprompted which would have probably helped the cough and “talking like they’re bunged up” that the teacher spoke of.

I agree with @miggledy, I always made sickness booorrrring. Besides discouraging fake sickness it also discourages the notion that to gain attention and extra treats etc one needs to be sick. This has ramifications later in life.
Sure if your child is really very sick you pull out the stops but in that case the patient feels so wretched there is no temptation to feign sickness in future.
Child goes to bed and has a light supper before going to bed for the night. No tv and limited distractions save perhaps a story tape while they are resting quietly

Yep I second the take them back. Was rung at work (stressful professional job with responsibilities that couldn't be offloaded to anyone else) about a rash that had appeared on my then 8 year old DD's arm after playtime. I went to school, collected DD drove to pharmacist at the end of the road he had a look and said it was an allergic reaction to something she'd brushed against but not serious. So I bought some Piriton gave it to her and took her back to school (was out with her for perhaps 30 minutes) they were horrified when I dropped her back! I said what it was, that it was minor and that she didn't need to miss school and I was going back to work and left. Never got called out again.

How old is your child, OP?

Just that we wouldn’t be sending home a letter about attendance if they were still 4.

The annoying this is that we’ve got a bloody birthday party tonight.
That they’re dying to go to and are 100% well enough to go to.
Hence me describing them running round the house and not wanting to sit on the sofa quietly.
Hence in my opinion they’re well enough to be at school.
And DC has just said that they didn’t even want to come home as they were building a big Lego tower, but the teacher said they were coughing and snotty so they had to call mummy.

I always asked searching questions if I got a call about mine. Nine times out of ten the call was just to inform me that they had bumped heads, grazed their knees in the playground etc. and it wasn't necessary to collect them, even when DD3 apparently somehow managed to shut her head in the toilet door (don't ask, only DD3).

They would stay off on the thankfully rare occasions when they had sickness bugs, but with just a cough and cold with no detectable high temperature they went to school. They would hardly have been there in the early years otherwise.

Your school do sound over zealous. Are they pandering too much to the children? Keep a record of when they are sent home from now on, and when you get the inevitable attendance letter (which is usually automatically generated) then go in and produce your list.

Children can be trying it on. Make things as boring as possible at home. No sweets, TV, films etc. If you are sure that your child isn't particularly ill and may have put on a performance then talk to them about it, saying why you are not impressed. Have the same conversation with the school too so that they are aware that this is happening. I remember having to do the same with my DD1's nursery, who kept believing her tummy ache spiel. The tummy ache that had always magically cleared up once we were on our way home and near the corner shop when she demanded sweets (which I didn't get). She had just decided she wanted to go home.

Oddly enough, it never happened again after that.

Our school is the opposite, they need to have a limb hanging off or be actively puking to be sent home.

Child is 4, but we still get attendance letters every half term saying what attendance percentage they are on and that it should be higher etc etc. They’ve not even had a days holiday. So attendance is purely on the days they’ve been sent home sick.

I'd definitely try and have a discussion with school about it, and frame it as ways the attendance could be improved as you obviously share their concern. Then tell them what you've told us, except leave the D and V bit out as that's completely fair enough.

I would video them running around when they are sent home and show the teacher
Your child is learning how to get out of school
We rarely sent a child home unless they were actually sick
A little time in the quiet corner or a trip to the loo usually sorted things

Just seen your updates. Yes, I too would take them back and would tell the school that they are definitely not ill when at home, have even said that they didn't want to come home and please do not call again unless there is a real problem.

I've had this with my 9 year old DD today, she did a crab in PE today and hurt her neck, it clicked. Went to the school where she was waiting for me with an ice pack on her neck and a great big smile on her face . She was absolutely fine but they wanted her to go home... so now she is extremely fed up because I've had her helping clean the windows inside, dusting and making beds, and guess what? Her neck is still fine.

She wasn't too impressed when I informed her that because she was sent home she now misses out on going to the school Christmas fair tonight. I feel a bit mean but it was at her insistence that I was phoned, come to think of it. This happened a couple of months ago too... There was nothing wrong with her then either

Yes to videoing them racing about once at home. Show that to the receptionist and email it to the class teacher (copying in the headteacher too if you like).