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Original poster

to feel ashamed of myself at xmas

80 replies

Ceci03 · 04/12/2018 11:40

so, when I was a child, around age 8-12 we had father christmas. and on xmas morn the 3 of us, 3 girls would get up and go downstairs and bring our presents back to the bedroom 2 of us shared, and we would get into bed - 2 in one bed, one in the other - and my sisters say I 'made them' open the presents one by one. We took it in turns to open a present, and the other two would watch. My parents would stay in bed. Both my sisters have brought this up and I'm ashamed of myself for being so controlling. I hate the child I was. I hate that I was not more easy going and just 'fun'. Have been thinking about it a lot. One sister brings it up every year, and pokes fun at me. But I remember it different - that we all wanted to do it. I know it seems silly, but I'm so ashamed of who I was back then. So ashamed that I was so uptight and controlling. (I'm the opposite - I'm probably the most easy going of the 3 sisters now, and very easy going on my own kids)

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 04/12/2018 11:44

Oh poor you letting this still bother you just say to your sisters that you only wanted to see what everybody had but imo your parents left you all to it and you were just trying to prolong the excitement.

VimFuego101 · 04/12/2018 11:46

My parents made us open presents one at a time too. It was, at most, a mild annoyance, it didn't spoil Christmas. In hindsight it was much nicer than diving into a pile of presents in a frenzy. I think you're over thinking a bit.

MatildaTheCat · 04/12/2018 11:48

You were a little girl. I’ve no doubt your parents were aware what was going on and could have got up and taken control if they wanted.

Your sisters may not be aware of how much their teasing upsets you. I think a quiet word saying that you feel bad about this and it’s upsetting for you to be teased every year so please could they drop it now? If you are easy going now I’m guessing they have no idea now you feel.

Forgive yourself for whatever minor errors in judgment you may or may not have had as a little girl. Happy Christmas.

purplecorkheart · 04/12/2018 11:48

Honestly, I think you are over thinking it.

RoboticSealpup · 04/12/2018 11:50

Bless you, families can be right bastards for making your feel embarrassed about silly old things you did. I know families who do it like that and I don't think it's particularly strange.

AjasLipstick · 04/12/2018 11:50

My older sister made me save up with her so we could buy our family gifts at Christmas.

I only got 50p a week and I was about 7 and wanted sweets!

once I opened the money box and took a pound out because I wanted a comic and some sweets for a change and she acted like it was the end of the world..."WHERE had the money gone" and so on.

Bloody weird. I don't hold it against her though. She was what she was.

missyB1 · 04/12/2018 11:50

Goodness me why are your sisters still bringing this up? Time you all got over it! You were all just kids! The sad thing about your story is that your parents didn’t want to get up and watch their kids open the presents.

Hideandgo · 04/12/2018 11:51

God we all loved to be a miss bossy pants when we were little! They wouldn’t have let you away with it if they weren’t happy with the situation, believe me!

File it in the box of ‘funny shit WE did when little’.

Mishappening · 04/12/2018 11:52

Blimey! - ditch the guilt for goodness sake and get on with life!

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 04/12/2018 11:52

Does no one think anything of your parents staying in bed on Christmas morning? Confused

Atalune · 04/12/2018 11:54

You were just kids. Let it go now.

Just laugh it off, you’ll have to fake it for now but soon you’ll change your mindset and feel better about it.

Or you could say- oi you liked it!!

Original poster
Ceci03 · 04/12/2018 11:57

ok thanks lol. I know I am overthinking it! I suppose its just one of a whole list of things that seem to get brought up every year and make me feel like I was a weirdo. Probably I was but they do like to rub it in.

Yes weird my parents always stayed in bed. I remember one year I was called in for a 'chat' - apparently one of my sisters had complained that because we did the 'one present at at time' thing, one had 2 less presents that the other 2. Probably my parents didnt know we did this so didnt count them. I got in trouble over it.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 04/12/2018 12:01

It sounds like you might have been put upon as a child some kids are bossy they just like order and things to be just so you need to let it go or tut at them everytime they mention it.

PinkHeart5914 · 04/12/2018 12:03

I wouldn’t say controlling, you were a child and some children are very bossy! you were perhaps a bossy child but it was a looooooong time ago.

Why did your parents stay in bed? Didn’t they want to see the dc unwrap presents?,weird lazy parenting imo

MissionItsPossible · 04/12/2018 12:04

Isn't this normal? That's how my siblings and I opened presents too, one at a time, while everyone 'watched'.

hambo · 04/12/2018 12:04

I'm sure your sisters did things which annoyed you or you did just to please them. They will not remember those moments...next time they bring it up remind them of their foibles!

AjasLipstick · 04/12/2018 12:06

Pink mine stayed in bed too....nothing bloody weird or lazy about it thank you very much. Mine worked very full time and were knackered.

AjasLipstick · 04/12/2018 12:07

Mission Normal for some people. Not for others.

Hideandgo · 04/12/2018 12:07

I think it’s funny your parents stayed in bed. They clearly cared enough to buy multiple presents for the three of you and no doubt you all ran in to show them what Santa brought. Not everyone needs to document and witness every ‘magical moment’ of their kids. It doesn’t mean anything on its own. It might have been lovely listening from their warm beds to the excitement.

Or maybe they were terrible parents who neglected their kids. Only OP knows.

angieloumc · 04/12/2018 12:07

I think your sisters are very unkind to say this to you. My sister is much the same, she is four years younger than me (with a brother in between) but she's always thinking up things that I apparently did that now she thinks is wrong.
For example I 'made her watch Amityville 2 the possession and she was terrified' and I used to say she could watch me getting ready to go out if she tidied my room afterwards. Neither of which I recall.

Brakebackcyclebot · 04/12/2018 12:07

I think the oddest thing about this is that you all opened your presents on your own in your bedroom. Why did your parents stay in bed?

We open our presents one at a time too, and I don't see myself as controlling!

paap1975 · 04/12/2018 12:08

I think you're being too hard on yourself.

Why not say something like "yes, but we've all changed quite a bit since them". I'm sure they also did things as kids that they wouldn't be proud of now

Bekabeech · 04/12/2018 12:08

Umm it does sound as if your family dynamics might be a bit "squiffy".
Yes families do bring up old "stories" and this can be hurtful/annoying/irritating/plain boring. My SIL will bring up things DH did as a kid - it's why we have a limit to how much we can see her.

I would suggest if this stuff is really upsetting you, you do try to get some counselling, as just talking it through may either: help you not feel so bad or through light on the weird family dynamics which keep bringing this to the fore.

Bekabeech · 04/12/2018 12:09

Oh BTW, my DC still open presents one at a time, but we are all together (and when we get bored it becomes more a free for all).

thecatsthecats · 04/12/2018 12:11

Sisters, who'd have them?

My sister finds it endlessly funny to tease that I had a pet log. She had a pet rock! It had school books any everything. Mine just had a face.