Teenage sisters- do they socialise together.

[Realjournal123]

Am I being unreasonable to want my two teenage daughters to want to go out with friends together. It's the eldests 15th birthday coming up and she wants to go to a fancy restaurant instead of the usual movies and dinner etc. It's quite an expensive evening and I just presumed that my younger daughter of 13 would go. The younger one doesn't have many friends at the moment and at weekends finds herself being with her dad and me which I know she finds a bit boring, whilst the other dd is often out with her friends during the day(weekends). I could tell that she didn't want her younger sister to be at the dinner and has asked her if she still wants to go. This has made the younger 13 year old feel awkward and now says she doesn't want to attend. The elder daughter says it's awkward as she doesn't feel like she will fit in. We have just had a heated discussion because I'm maintaining that it's normal to invite your sister ( they are 20 months apart) to your birthday but she's a stubborn monkey and quite obviously doesn't want her there. I've told her that she's selfish and unkind to not want her there. What does everyone else think? AIBU?

Echoing others, you really do owe your eldest a sincere apology. Assassinating her character in the name of her younger sister is a sure fire way to create resentment and animosity.

My two girls are two and a half years apart and whilst they played together when they were little, by their teens they were very different characters and barely communicated with one another indoors, let alone socialise. Now they are in their twenties and still have little in common.
I learned early on that, although I would have loved for them to be best buddies, I had to respect their independence and accept that they were two very different people with little in common with one another.

It makes me feel incredibly sad and I feel such a failure as a mum that they aren't close but I can't force them to want to share air space so I just have had to let it go.

I know exactly what you mean!

I am three years older then my sister and as teens we drove each other mad, constantly bickering and shouting. She would use my stuff without asking and I would be nasty back at her.

Now we are adults we are very close and socialise, but at 15 I didn’t want to hang out with her. It’s a difficult time, hormones are all over the place and not everyone wants their younger sister tagging along. You can’t force it.

Its not your dd1 responsibility that her younger sister can't make her own friend it is yours to find her activities and hobbies.

Yabu

Not at that age. When I hit 17/18 me and DSis became best friends again ( she's 3 years older) but at that age we couldn't stand each other.... very different and difficult ages to be At