to be offended by this?

[rainandsnow7]

My partner (fiance actually) has said something that has both annoyed and upset me, more than I thought it would. He says it's just a joke, just banter, and I shouldn't take it seriously.

We were talking about a woman on TV (I won't say who, it's irrelevant), and I said I find her irritating. He said "why? She's fit. Fitter than you are." And then laughed.

I am far from vain, I made my peace with not being the best looking person many moons ago, and I certainly wouldn't compare myself to anyone else - what's the point? It's a recipe for misery. But him comparing me like this has upset me, even if it is true. On the whole I don't like to think of my appearance, I try and make myself look as nice/presentable as possible and just get on with it. But for HIM to start comparing me...well it's made me cross/upset/angry.

How very rude of him. Ask him how he would like it. What has an irritating woman to do with how fit she is?

Hmmm. When are you meant to be marrying him?

Lol lighten up. That actually made me laugh

The she's fit part not so much. However the than you bit would be a huge deal but breaker for me.
The fact that he said it about someone off the TV is irrelevant.
No one and I dont care how secure or confident they are in their own skin wants their bloke to find another women more attractive.
Of course you're offended. How else are you meant to feel.

Does he have form for coming out with unkind 'banter' at your expense?

Sorry LTB. Not too late to escape a misogynistic pig who clearly doesn't appreciate you. Don't go fishing again till you learn to appreciate your own fabulousness and then you'll be less likely to settle for this c**p.

I would dump the loser

Lol lighten up. That actually made me laugh.

Its not about you though is it, glam.
Its not you who has been insulted, and in ops eyes she has been.
It's all very well finding something funny. However it might probably would be a different story when/if you're on ever on the receiving end of it.

Nasty

I don't get the correlation between "fitness" & you finding her irritating?

And I bet he’s a prime specimen of an Adonis isn’t he?

Well at least your arse hole of a not so 'd'p made glam laugh. Every cloud and all that.

I think your DP is an asshole, sorry cant be more help than that. That's a lasting remark and why would a man want to make the woman he loves feel like that.

Very rude! This would upset me aswell 🙁

It was just a throw away comment which I found funny. If my man said it to me I'd find it funny too. I would tell him to fuck off and say how much fitter Tom Hardy is.

Jeez some of you are so uptight!

Why would anyone find this amusing?

I am of average looks and I do not expect my husband to point out (what I already know) that some women are better looking than I am.

It was a nasty thing to say. It does not bode well.

My partner made a comment last night that he wishes I would dress like Holly Willoughby as she's got a really nice style.
I gave him the dagger eyes for about 30 seconds then laughed my head off and said "She probably earns more in a week than I do in a year so can afford to look gorgeous all the time" he responded with "I was actually being sarcastic, her stylist needs sacking".
I could have taken that comment badly like you did but sometimes men just say silly things without realising it could be hurtful. Luckily I have a good sense of humour and realised that pretty quickly he was pulling my leg. It may be that your partner was just having a laugh and didn't realise you would take it to heart.
I would have laughed at that comment to be honest and wouldn't have been upset by it.

You're allowed to find her irritating, he's allowed to say she's fit (although that isn't a great argument to why she isn't irritating)

But he was mean to point in out he thinks she's fitter then you. I think Tom Hiddleston is sexier then my partner but I'd never just point it out for no reason.

Was it Ann Widdecombe?

1 There’s no correlation between her perceived fitness and irritating qualities.
2 Comparison is odious
3 why the fuck should he think it’s ok to make nasty hurtful banter?

For the above reasons, but particularly the 2nd and 3 rd, I couldn’t have a partner who did that.

Think long and hard about the man you're thinking about marrying and potentially having children with ... what kind of message is he going to be sending them about how they treat others and how they deserve to be treated.

I hate people who excuse poor behaviour with 'banter' as their excuse. Bollocks.

OJSquash but someone commenting on how you dress is different to the OP's partner commenting on what she physically looks like. I wouldn't take that Holly Willoughby comment to heart. But the OP's partner has insinuated that he finds this woman more attractive than the OP.

OP, I would too be offended. Has he made other mean comments about what you physically look like/people who he thinks are more attractive than you?

Extremely rude and unkind

What an aresehole. His comment was irrelevant. Besides there's always someone out there who is "fitter", why bring it up!

As a side note though you say you've come to peace with your looks but I'm wondering if perhaps you feel uncomfortable watching attractive people as you fear your DP may find them attractive? And as a diversion you may insult someones personality for example. Perhaps your DP picked up on this and wanted to annoy you? Not that that makes it right of course. Anyway sorry if my comment was way off here, I'm just wondering if you're dealing with some insecurities.

Don't let his comment bring you down OP.