to be offended by this?

[rainandsnow7]

My partner (fiance actually) has said something that has both annoyed and upset me, more than I thought it would. He says it's just a joke, just banter, and I shouldn't take it seriously.

We were talking about a woman on TV (I won't say who, it's irrelevant), and I said I find her irritating. He said "why? She's fit. Fitter than you are." And then laughed.

I am far from vain, I made my peace with not being the best looking person many moons ago, and I certainly wouldn't compare myself to anyone else - what's the point? It's a recipe for misery. But him comparing me like this has upset me, even if it is true. On the whole I don't like to think of my appearance, I try and make myself look as nice/presentable as possible and just get on with it. But for HIM to start comparing me...well it's made me cross/upset/angry.

That's awful. Your partner should tell you you are the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

Does he make this sorts of comments about you often? Does he ever belittle you or was it a one off? I wouldn't proceed and form a life relationship with him if I had any doubts.

OP, you can look at this two ways.

Either your dp was being serious in which case he's an arse, or he wasn't and you are being a bit sensitive.
It's obvious from pp's what other people would choose to believe.
I'd find it funny too, if my dh said this, but we are all different.

I bet it was Holly bloody Willoughby.
I’d hate it. I might get the fanny gallops for, say, Aidan Turner as Poldark, but it’s the character not the actor. And I wouldn’t tell my DH if I had one that AT was fitter than him.
Mind you, when my dds refer to someone as fit, I deliberately act dense and ask if they run, swim or work out

He sounds an arse. Using the 'just banter' card makes him sound an even bigger arse. Do you think it would come as a shock to him that he isn't the most attractive man in the world? I reckon he's the type who would find that hard to believe. Get rid.

Lol lighten up. That actually made me laugh

There is literally nothing funny about his comment.

Banter = amusing oneself by insulting somebody in a way that demonstrates zero wit or humour and refusing to take responsibility for the effects of doing so.

You've got a problem here OP. Your partner is an arse. He hides behind "banter" as a way to insult you.

Why do you want to marry a man who would do that? I bet that's not the only time he's done that, and I bet he's horrible in other ways too, but you're ignoring the red flags. You ignore them at your peril.

You don't have to marry him, don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.