To ask for your advice re MIL

[forkinghellmate]

I recently returned to work after having DS2.

I work full time and so does my DH.

My parents do a day of childcare for kids and that’s great. My MIL said she didn’t want to get involved in childcare and we said that’s fine.

I’ve found that since returning to work I’ve really felt that my weekends are jam packed and we have loads of kids parties etc and we take the kids on days out a lot.

My MIL has started to make noises that she doesn’t see the DC as much as she’d like. She then said to us that she wants us to come round every Saturday morning with the children. To add to this, DH’s family are BIG on routine and, for want of a better word, tradition. So I know for a fact that if we started this then hell would freeze over before we got out of it.

Perhaps I was out of line but I countered this request with a response along the lines of “quite rightly you didn’t want to commit to looking after the children on a set day and I am not willing to do the same with my weekends in terms of visiting.”

MIL and I have a fairly balanced relationship. We’ve said our bit on certain matters a few years ago after DD1 was born but other than that we bump along just fine. That being said, my insistence that I will not be pushed into a routine has really ruffled her feathers. DH is caught in the middle but he agrees that we can’t get caught up in a routine that we won’t stick to.

wwyd? Was i out of line to tell her why I wouldn’t be coming every weekend?

You were totally right and honest in your response to her request so that know one is left in any doubt that you will visit as and when is convenient or possible for both yourselves and her.

Luckly my children are teenagers now, but I use to dread opening the school book bag to find another party invite inside.

Its always good to be open and honest if you can about a persons request and if you can facilitate what they’re asking of you it saves so much time skirting around the houses to be polite but honest.

Good point whoever it was who pulled me up on my older people routine comment. For some reason I thought of my own mum but she is very an older person liking routine. I forget that am a fair bit older than most of you lot and actually a gp myself ha ha.

I spoke to DH tonight and made it doubly clear that I wouldn’t be getting involved in a weekly routine.

I forget that am a fair bit older than most of you lot and actually a gp myself ha ha

No, its only our parents who get old. We stay 21 forever