to wonder how people afford to decorate their houses?

[Blelibo]

Me and DH both in late 20s, both on 30k a year, own our own house, we have one child together and DH has a daughter from previous relationship... we hang NO money to decorate our house with. We've lived here a year and it's completely empty!!

Anyone else in same boat?

Ask family if they have any furniture they no longer want/need (we were given an old sofa and loaned a table and chairs). Bedroom furniture was antique bought from a charity shop for £20 (many years ago) I didn't have a nice smart house, it was piecemeal and make do and mend tbh. I bought cheap paint and lining paper (because the walls were crap) and spent hundreds of hours doing up my first house.

It will pass. Things will come gradually and you will upgrade over time.

When we were late twenties we moved from a small 2 bed terrace to a larger 3 bed detatched. Even in the first house a lot of our stuff was ‘preloved’ (including a pine table my dad had made when I was a little girl out of scrap timber) and it was years before we could furnish the third bedroom and the second reception in the new house with anything at all. That didn’t matter to us, it made for very lively parties and we were so proud to have bought a detatched house.

That was 30+ years ago., we now own other homes as well as our main house and can afford to furnish them all beautifully but I still look back at being young and broke in our sparsely furnished home (with the flock wallpaper and pub style carpets) as one of the happiest times of my life. And the battered homemade dining table that my now long dead dad gave me is one of my most loved items, much more so that some of the ‘posh’ stuff I can buy now.

You just have to get imaginative whereas perhaps you were assuming everyone bought every thing from new. Some people have been harsh yes, but it is because you are both bringing in 60k and that is a lot more than what many people earn. Plenty of good advice has been given on where to source things from on a budget so I hope you take a look at these. Lots of charity shops to browse round for bits and bobs for the home too. It is amazing what you can do with a tin of paint.

Sorry you are feeling low OP. People are trying to give suggestions but you are taking everything as criticism. You have made different life choices to others. Most people buy a house they can afford not a house to fit 3 DC, so you have maybe overstretched yourself at a young age.. That’s fine if you can deal with it and have less now because of it.

My first house I was earning a pittance. The only new furniture I had was my bed, everything else was second hand, either given or charity shop. I went to the local cheap store and bought all the odds and ends.

I took a second job to pay for my social life.

So you need to make your choices accordingly. You put all your money into the house so you know there is nothing left.

While you’re on M L take some time to look around second hand shops, FB selling, free cycle etc and hopefully you will soon kit yourself out.

We kept some money back and got a bigger mortgage so we could furnish it. Otherwise we’d never have been able to afford to do it as even flat pack stuff from Ikea adds up if you have a whole house to do. I'd say second hand stuff or auctions might be your best bet if money is tight. I suppose with Xmas round the corner you could ask for vouchers for a department store too?

My parents moved into a house which was only painted white walls in the 70s, saying they must redo the bathroom (beautiful puke green) and kitchen (MFI special) as soon as they could.
The decorated the house over the 90s. The kitchen was done in 2002 and the bathroom around 5 years after that.

That's how people do it.

Loads of good tips here, Op. Hope you take some on board.

Next time ask on property, Aibu is always sharper.

Facebook & freecycle are indeed your friends, as is asking around. And also keeping an eye on big store sales. When I bought my first house (mid-30s), I bought bed/mattress and sofa and dining room chairs in various sales (Habitat in particular, which rather dates me) - paid for by credit card and paid off over several years. My cooker and fridge were re-conditioned, my parents bought the washing machine, and other furniture came from family members who had accumulated furniture (maybe from older relatives who had died) and wanted to free up sheds and garages. Over the years, I have discarded some of that furniture, often passing it back to charity shops who can send it on again. If you prioritise the real essentials - decent beds/mattresses and kitchen appliances that won't kill you - and see everything else as nice but replaceable when budget allows, it will all seem a lot more manageable.

Maybe take your other children out of nursery while you are on mat leave and save the 1200 a month?

In a few months you'll have enough to make a huge difference

we did a lot on charity shops, and free cycle

if you get everything straight away, you dont appreciate it as much

doior
RTFT.

I can’t believe op is still getting tatty comments.

Do you smoke/ drink ? Spend money on clothes or go on holidays ?
If you make it a priority over other things then you will be able to

We spent so long saving for a house which would accommodate 3 children so we wouldn't have to move house and would have a chunk of our mortgage paid off before we are both 30

Well there you go:
You've made different choices from some other people.
You've bought in an expensive area.
You've bought a 'bigger than average' first home
You've had a baby (and, as a couple are also contributing to another child) before you got your house 'as you'd like it'

OP, I’m sorry about some of the replies you’ve had here but AIBU is brutal. The property/DIY board is usually a good one for helpful advice on decorating. Our household income is more than yours and we still find it difficult to get done everything we’d like. I shop around as much as I can, which I really enjoy and it never feels like a chore, but it might to you. I’ve found Ikea, Gumtree, eBay are the best places to find a bargain. Grillodesigns on instagram is brilliant for cheap DIY ideas. Pinterest is also good for building a plan. Reddit also has some great areas for diy and decorating advice.

Our outgoings are high. Big mortgage

You've answered your own question.

We saved an extra year so we could afford a mortgage with 1 persons pay and still be able to save. Meant we could buy all the furniture slowly over a few months.
Im currently on mat leave so its tighter than normal but we can still save for xmas, new appliance (new oven) and save for DDs childcare in the future.

Don't mean to sound patronising, but you are still young. I'm heading to late 40s and in common with lots my age, we have managed to accrue stuff over time. Then just when you get to the stage it looks half decent, things start needing replaced or house needs painted again etc. Its never ending really.

My one bit of advice would be don't be in a rush to fill your home, just for the sake of it and try not to go for the latest trends - 5-10 years down the line you will be changing it or dumping it. Take your time and save till you can buy quality well made things that will last - that still could be second hand as well.

Sorry forgot to add ideas;
Look on Gumtree and Shpock because you will get some amazing peices for pennies.
Wilko is amazing for things like curtain poles, paint etc. You can even buy lovely furniture paint there which is brilliant if u want to change the kitchen without actually spending loads. Paint the cupboards and voila!

I second what @lovingmatleave says.
Defo take your time. Im 3 years into my home, i still havent done the spare room. Literally only bought a sofa for one room about 6 months ago. But thats because im picky and i dont rush these things.

We had extremely low expectations when we bought our first house (now almost 4 years on). We have done almost nothing decorating wise. It is expensive! The master bedroom is the only room that is finished.

At first we hung up blankets in the windows because we had nothing left to buy curtains / blinds (and previous owners left nothing) and we slept on an air bed for about 6 weeks.

Almost every bit of furniture we have is second hand. Ok so not everything matches, but that's ok! We're not in a rush to have a perfect Pinterest-ready home! You'd be surprised at the amazing stuff people want to get rid of!

Try not to let it get you down, just replace one thing at a time, in your own time.

We bought everything on a 0% credit card, then once we were in started to pay it off.

Have done it everytime we move, always buy everytging thrn otherwise you never do as normal life gets in the way.

OP you have made wise long term choices and you will have plenty of time to get your house nice a few years down the line. But with young DC everything gets trashed anyway. I would focus on it being clean (freshly emulsioned in the rooms where you spend most time), keep it practical and minimalistic so easy to clean. You will get there. Most people don’t think as far ahead as you and you have made wise choices which you won’t regret several years from now. We are in our early-mid fifties got married late thirties had children later in life so have two teenagers slamming doors and kicking things etc. Whilst our house is nicer than some peoples houses it’s nowhere near as nice as others and hard to keep clean you just need to try and be happy where you are now and feel blessed with your children and the life ahead of you. Many people your age don’t even have a grotty one bedroomed flat.

If you don't explain your circumstances, people will tend to fill on the gaps themselves.

@Blelibo I know where you’re coming from, we earn a similar amount and don’t have a huge amount left at the end of each month. Our bills are big and that’s the way it’ll be for a while (DC no. 2 due next year and sat mat here too!).
In our case we’ve been lucky and had bits given to us over the years, anything new is either second hand or ikea. We also sell old stuff to buy new (that’s how I brought besdside tables and lamps for our room, sold some old jewelry I didn’t use and brought the furniture with the proceeds). To be honest it sucks, it would be nice to have some nice, new furniture/decor, but hopefully when the kids are bigger, we can think about it then!

We recently moved and found that local Facebook groups/gumtree/Preloved and eBay have all been great. Best saving tips: for flooring, buy large offcuts (can be the size of the room) and have them edged. Talk to local Dulux trade store (they gave us trade discount and even buying sealant etc is so much cheaper then b&q). Just do one room at a time, look at furniture outlet store (sofasandstuff & tetrad do great ones).
It takes time and can be overwhelming but does feel great each time you can look at a completed room.

Blelibo [flowers} you sound so nice and sensible. Sympathies for the cruelty and silliness you've had on here.

The most important thing is that your house is a home, and it sure sounds like you've made a lovely one. Empty is better than full, style-wise, as it happens. And the most interesting stuff always comes from a charity shop, anyway, unless you're a billionaire, so style is never really about money. Being skint can be an advantage, long term.