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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel rather inadequate next to younger, cleverer and seemingly more woke men?

63 replies

forceofhabitandnotneed · 02/12/2018 15:26

I've always considered myself reasonably intelligent, open-minded, sensitive, respectful and pro-feminist.

Nowadays I look at all of these millennial guys who seem to have this air of intellectual self-confidence, be open about their feelings and loudly demonstrate their awesome wokeness, and I just worry about looking like a tedious lump of middle-aged, mansplaning pomposity.

Is it too late to stop a pathetic pig like me sliding down the dating dumpster?

OP posts:
bestideaeva · 02/12/2018 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SantaClauseMightWork · 02/12/2018 15:48

I really don’t understand your problem. What is your problem?

BadPolicy · 02/12/2018 15:49

Most women think being 'feminist' is an insult Do they?

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 15:50

Is it too late to stop a pathetic pig like me sliding down the dating dumpster?

Probably yes.

Snappedandfarted1 · 02/12/2018 15:50

YABU for using the term ‘woke’ Hmm

FitzChivalryFarseer · 02/12/2018 15:50

you sound like an arse.

"pro-feminist"? That's even worse than feminist. Most women think being 'feminist' is an insult. Ditch it.

Confused

Feminist isn’t an an insult.

SoyDora · 02/12/2018 15:54

What the fuck is ‘wokeness’?

Most women think being 'feminist' is an insult. Ditch it

No they don’t.

BluebellsareBlue · 02/12/2018 15:55

Wtf is woke??

EmUntitled · 02/12/2018 15:57

Are you asking if its impossible for you to find a date/partner due to other men being "better" in some way which you perceive?

If so, no its not. People are attracted to all different types. I for one have never been interested in the "wokeness" of anyone I have dated Hmm

Mumminmum · 02/12/2018 15:58

"pro-feminist"? Is that like when a watch is not water proof, but water resistant? So two seconds in humid air the watch is fine, but insert in actual water and it goes bust?

So does this respectfulness translate into you actually getting off your butt and doing your part of the chores without being told what to do first?

EmUntitled · 02/12/2018 15:59

I had to google "woke".
Woke is a political term of African American origin that refers to a perceived awareness of issues concerning social justice and racial justice.

So a person who realises that just because they are a white male and dont experience racial and sexual inequality, they still realise it exists and go on about it without effectively doing anything.

PatSharpsMullet · 02/12/2018 16:04

What are you talking about bestideaeva 💩💩💩

snowflakealert · 02/12/2018 16:07

Woke?

Nope - no idea what you're on about.

DonDrapersOldFashioned · 02/12/2018 16:10

There is a middle ground between mainsplainer and ‘woke’ eejit. TBH, as a self declared middle aged man, I’d find it odd if you were going for the same kind of women as the types you are worried about. If you are trying to compete for the attentions of 20 something women, then you probably are barking up the wrong tree. However, I doubt many 40+ women want a gobshite ‘woke’ millennial type (though equally, a mansplainer isn’t that marvellous either).

SoyDora · 02/12/2018 16:15

If you are trying to compete for the attentions of 20 something women, then you probably are barking up the wrong tree

Agree with this.
Also, no one likes a mansplainer, whatever age they are.

Urbanbeetler · 02/12/2018 16:18

Just keep being you and don’t try to date 20 yr olds.

Omunye · 02/12/2018 16:23

I agree that going after women your own age would solve a lot of your problems.

greycloudblackbird · 02/12/2018 16:24

If you are interested in women your own age, then I think you sound alright.

But as others have said, sounds like you see your competition as being for women young enough to be your daughter. Which isn't cool.

olivertwistwantsmore · 02/12/2018 16:24

Well, you can stop being pompous and mansplaining, if you do that.

But don’t try to act like a millennial if you’re a generation older...

Posters who haven’t heard the term ‘woke’, have you beenliving under a rock this year? Google it.

Rattinghat · 02/12/2018 16:25

Don't run yourself down. It's perfectly possible to be confident without being preachy. Sadly a lot of men can't manage it, and in middle age get worse. The fact that you are aware of it means you are less likely to fall into this trap.

Instead, pay a lot of attention to your health and grooming if you want to compete in the dating market. Most middle aged white men I have seen on dating sites have totally let themselves go, but still think they have 'got it' and can get a younger woman.

Coyoacan · 02/12/2018 16:26

bestideaeva You are a complete idiot.

What do you mean by woke, OP?

speakout · 02/12/2018 16:26

I barely understand half of that OP.

I must be out of the loop.

Happily.

ChodeofChodeHall · 02/12/2018 16:28

Most women think being 'feminist' is an insult.

What the what now?

ChodeofChodeHall · 02/12/2018 16:29

You don't sound too intelligent, tbh. Did your mum tell you that?