To feel rather inadequate next to younger, cleverer and seemingly more woke men?

[forceofhabitandnotneed]

I've always considered myself reasonably intelligent, open-minded, sensitive, respectful and pro-feminist.

Nowadays I look at all of these millennial guys who seem to have this air of intellectual self-confidence, be open about their feelings and loudly demonstrate their awesome wokeness, and I just worry about looking like a tedious lump of middle-aged, mansplaning pomposity.

Is it too late to stop a pathetic pig like me sliding down the dating dumpster?

I mean, are you trying to date the same, presumably younger, women as these fantastic millennial fellows...?

I'm very much looking to date women my own age!

However, there does seem to have been a rise in fortysomething women going for younger men in recent years, and I'm conscious that some of these twenty- and thirtysomething guys will probably have the edge over me.

I'm conscious that some of these twenty- and thirtysomething guys will probably have the edge over me

Probably not because of their ‘wokeness’ though.

Most women think being 'feminist' is an insult. Ditch it

No they fucking don't. They think that women who think that "feminist" is an insult are self-hating idiots though.

Agree with what maxthemartian says 💯

Move out!

You only need one person, one woman. Just be a decent person, you’ll find her.

Don’t try to compete with younger men OP. That will put women of your age off. There’s nothing more of putting than a man trying desperately to be part of the younger crowd. As for them being ‘woke’, don’t get me started on the woke brigade. Normally made up of privileged white men who are the most misogynistic bunch of prat’s who like to dictate what we (especially women) should be concerned about.

Just relax and stop competing. BTW, I’m a feminist and fucking proud of it.

Such a funny thread.

*I'm conscious that some of these twenty- and thirtysomething guys will probably have the edge over me

Probably not because of their ‘wokeness’ though.*

I am laughing at thread.

Can someone explain "wokeness"?

Is is anything to do with those furry little Wombles?

Maybe I am missing the point.

There is a middle ground between mainsplainer and ‘woke’ eejit.

^This. Most women over 25 are probably not looking for a woke eejit. Many under 25 too.

Both categories of man sound insufferable and I say this as woman in her twenties

OP not many woman in their 40s actually want to date 20 year old men

Truly.

Expanding on what I said before, you need to be a bit of a silver fox. Nicely groomed, healthy looking, good teeth and fairly but not very trendy haircut and clothes. I really will emphasise hair and teeth as that's what middle aged men usually let go. Get your hair cut ever 2 weeks by a modern barber. If you have money to spend, teeth are more important than car.

As for personality, it's not rocket science. Be a good listener, with a positive attitude to everything. If women see that you really enjoy life, they will want a piece of that positivity.

These woke dudebro types have a nasty habit of hating women tbh better off with a middle aged mansplainer 😉👍

Are you an Incel?

Hmmm, as a forty something woman who did a fair bit of online dating I can tell you that I found the approaches from younger ‘woke’ men pretty hilarious and sometimes downright creepy. I did date one lovely bloke in his thirties but it was never going to last, he still had a lot of growing up to do. What worked for me was meeting a bloke (an older bloke) that looked after himself physically without being obsessed and vain about it, who kept a clean and pleasant house, who was financially sensible, who had looked after his now adult kids like a proper caring dad and who importantly, had similar political views and liked some of the same stuff as me. Its not rocket science tbh.

@dontalltalkatonce 😂😂😂

Can you put me in touch with one of the 30 something single guys please? They sound lovely and I’ve been wondering if such men exist for a long time.

Since when was there a rise in women in their 40s wanting to date only men in their 20s and 30s?! Never heard about that. People date people they are attracted to, sometimes these people are older than them, sometimes they are younger. Don´t try to create some pathetic theory about women only fancying younger men to explain why you can't get a date. The answer to that question lies within you, not the women.

I really will emphasise hair and teeth as that's what middle aged men usually let go

In fairness with the former men often don’t have a choice on the matter.

I don't understand any of this thread.

You're the same bloke who apologised for not being the curly one out of One Direction a few weeks back, aren't you? Exactly what age group of women are you seeking to impress? 1D fans were mostly very young.

They have a choice not to have a combover or let the sides of a bald pate get long and straggly.

Black guys go to the barber every single week round where I live. It's white guys that go to seed.

40s isn't exactly that old anyway. I would say it's the height of male attractiveness (or can be for the right man). I know plenty of of 40 odd year old men who are in LTRs with women in their 20s and 30s (and 40s!). To have amuch older woman is far more unusual.

If you are overweight/sexist/racist that is not due to your age. IME it's men in their 60s/70s who tend to be sexist. Men of all ages can be slim and attractive.