To say something about friends DD?

[Youmadorwhat]

The last three pictures of her it’s very clear she has problems with her eyes! They turn in towards her nose (I don’t know what that is called) she’s 5 and in school (UK) so I’m unsure if school will have picked up in it and if they would even suggest an eye check?
So I talk to her not very often any more but when we do it’s over texting but whenever I am in the U.K. we meet up, in fact her add is my goddaughter. Should I say something or ask? I don’t want to interfere but I equally don’t want her DD have this overlooked? 😩

Cross-eyed?

You don’t really think her parents and school haven’t noticed?

It’s up to you OP.

My mum’s friend’s daughter had a turn in her eyes, they didn’t notice or chose to ignore it for a long time. My mum said something after much deliberation (of course she told me this later not when I was a child!) and while it wasn’t well received at the time, it didn’t damage their friendship and daughter got the support she needed and an operation.

If her kid is cross eyed I doubt she hasn’t noticed. I wouldn’t bring it up... it would be like saying “oh do you know your child’s teeth are crooked and she needs a brace?”
If it’s obvious to you then it’s obvious to them too. They may not want it pointing out by you as it may seem critical and also no one likes to have their kid’s flaws commented on.

Do you think her mum hasn’t noticed?

My friend didn’t notice that her dd had a slight turn in her eye.
It was only when nursery said when she started at 2.5 “what treatment is she having for her eye?” that she even realised.
Suppose she hadn’t been around lots of children and never really noticed it. It wasn’t a major one, but definitely noticeable and her dd ended up with a patch.
My friend wasn’t angry or upset that nursery mentioned it, she was more angry with herself for not realising.

what do you think you could tell your friend that your god daughter's teachers, doctor or anyone else that sees her regularly won't have already said?

A lot of times eye treatments are left for 6-12 months to see if they grow out of it. Or else they wait until they are a bit older to do surgery.

You don't know the medical history. Mind your own business.

A relative in law awaited being told her dn had Down's, nobody told her because nobody had noticed!
He was a year when his heart defect was diagnosed and they tested him for DS.

What about finding an article about treatment and send her the link?
Things are missed.

Just to clarify, when you say the last three pictures, is this the only times you've seen this issue present itself?

Is she aware the photos are being taken, so deciding to mess around?

If you've seen her in person, and can see it, then let her know as the others are suggesting.

Your post also sounds like you're in another country, could you start talking about eye tests and say all the five year olds you know have had then where you are? Kinda ramble on and suggest maybe she gets her DD checked out even as a precaution, if you're worried about upsetting her by coming out with it outright?

Kids have an eye test at school in reception don’t they?

If she has a squint then it’s best to say something as patching is usually done to help correct it and that needs to be done before she 7. I would try and bring it up in a nice way. My son had a mild squint and I didn’t really notice, his was picked up at a routine eye test at about age 4.

In my experience it is very common for parents to miss certain facial differences such as a squint/turn in the eye, as they see their children everyday and the changes can be very slow moving therefore unnoticed. It is definitely not uncommon for this to happen.

This goes for other care givers too who see them daily/ a lot.

quite often it is an outsider or a person who doesn't have a lot of contact with the child who notices any issue.

MichonnesBBF but if the child is 5 they will have been seen by health visitors and doctors before. Also in reception they have eye and hearing checks in school.

I know of a little girl who was taken to the optician at 6 and she immediately noticed a squint.

No, schools don't do routine eye tests, you should take them yourself.

Leave a squint and it will take an operation to fix. Catch in time and a patch can do the trick.

Mention it.

@FissionChips

I completely agree with you, I was aiming my post mainly at those who said a parent/teacher would of already noticed. I should of made that more clear.

However it is really hard to advise the OP without seeing what she can see in the photo's especially as she mentioned only the last 3 photo's, as it could be something as east as bad lighting/ strange angle, therefore nothing to worry about.

School do routine eye tests in reception. My ds had his lazy eye picked up then and I know of other children in similar situations. If the child is in reception year at school, then any problems should be picked up.

I had a friend say to me “what are you going to do about ds’s squint?” I hadn’t noticed it!
That may sound terrible but I genuinely hadn’t spotted it.
I’m glad she mentioned it and we were able to follow it up.

You're her godmother, it's what you're for! Looking out for the child. You can just ask about her squint.

Tricky if you are a medic do you say anything? I was standing next to a doctor friend watching the school choir last year who muttered she hoped the girl standing next to dd was being treated for something liver related as the poor kid was noticeably orange. My ex’s friend who was a specialist doctor told him that his girlfriend at the time had ms - poor woman had mentioned her symptoms to both of them then popped to loo. Awkward

Thank you ladies. Yes I am in a different country. I’m not usually the type of person to say anything about that kind of stuff but I do fear she may not be noticing it. Although as some of you have said it would be hard to miss I suppose. Telling me to mind my own business is not needed I know it’s not my business per se that’s why I’m asking opinions.

Just ask if she's seen anyone about her eye problem, and if your friend says 'what eye problems' then you can tell her your concerns.

I would gently say something, I'd appreciate being told if someone spotted something about my children

I like the suggestions that are 'asking' suggestions, as in, "What treatment options have been suggested for her squint?"

Leave it to the parents to deal with the healthcare. It is almost certain if there is a health issue, the parents will be aware of and dealing with it

It's surprising how easy it is to miss things with your own children because you see them every day. I pointed out to a friend that her 15 daughter had lost a worrying amount of weight; she took her to the drs and she was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid and hospitalised, school hadn't noticed and Mum hadn't worried as she'd been eating normally.

For pp saying school will have said something, my son had a problem with his eye, and school never ever asked me about it. I had noticed it immediately and was seeing doctors etc with him, but school never asked me if I was addressing it. A friend of mine has a child with severe sensory problems and IMO very likely autism (I work in the field plus have another son with asd). I mentioned my concerns to her, and her response was that there can’t be anything wrong because the school haven’t mentioned it. So I’m just saying, you can’t assume that the school address even the most seemingly obvious of problems.