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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL regarding Christmas. AIBU or are they?!

71 replies

OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:40

Name changed as incredibly outing.

MIL and SIL are both on at me for not having any decorations up this year. They are also extremely miffed and 'not having it' that we aren't really getting DS any presents. He really does just okay with the wrapping papers.

My reasons are as follows -

We are moving house on the 16th. That's a pain in the arse in itself. I can't be faffing with decs. DH and I both work full time and I can't be dealing with extras on top of moving so close to Christmas.

There is nowhere to put a tree in this living room! But they insist I can have a small on on top of my nice unit  No thank you.

DS (the one it's suppose to be for; according to my in laws), is 1. He isn't bothered. But apparently he is and I should make the effort for him.

They are beside themselves that I won't join in on 'tacky' Christmas decorations and think it's snobby that I have a colour scheme (classic Christmas colours, nice and understated), when I do have decs up.

AIBU and some sort of Christmas grinch? For what it's worth, I adore the Christmas season. I love it all, the shopping, the sales, the food, the family, the sharing and laughter. I love it all. But this year, doing the entire whack just isn't for us.

OP posts:
Returnofthesmileybar · 02/12/2018 11:43

You on the 16th December? Yanbu to not put up decs now, will you put them up in the new house?

Sistersofpercy · 02/12/2018 11:43

You're moving house on the sixteenth and they want you to decorate now!?
Do they need their bumps felt!?
Bollocks to that. I doubt ds will notice. Do ask MIL and SIL what they recall of their first Christmas though 😂

Lottapianos · 02/12/2018 11:43

They are bonkers. It's nothing to do with them. We never put up decorations at Christmas, not even a sprig of tinsel. We're not Christmas fans and can't be arsed with it all.

Strawberry2017 · 02/12/2018 11:45

I'm hoping to move before xmas and I'm not putting up the tree till we do, this is hard for me as I love putting the tree up but I totally understand it's a complete faff when you have to move too my DD is due in to turn 1 shortly and I fully expect her to be more interested in the boxes then the toys! X

Bigonesmallone3 · 02/12/2018 11:45

I would do a little something for my DS once I got to the new house 100%

U can pic up a tree and decorate for £20 and put presents u under for him..

minipie · 02/12/2018 11:45

Yanbu. But next year I hope you do a tree and some child friendly decorations (even if they don’t coordinations) as your 2 yr old will be old enough to care

SB1013 · 02/12/2018 11:46

I think you've obviously got a lot going on this year and are sensible enough to realise your child is only 1 and won't remember or realise what's going on this year. If you had older children I would say try and put something Christmassy up and get a few gifts but I don't think you need to worry this year. Are you at home on Xmas day?

BarbaraRoyale · 02/12/2018 11:47

I think you have enough on your plate already , tell them to mind their own business

Original poster
OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:47

You on the 16th December? Yanbu to not put up decs now, will you put them up in the new house?

If I'm completely honest, probably not. I just don't see it happening as there is a lot to get on with. My office closes for 2 weeks on the 21st, so I'll have a bit of time to potter then, but I just don't see how I'll realistically get the chance.

I have an unsettling dislike to tack so bagging a few bits from Poundland and sticking them up just isn't for me Grin

Not knocking Poundland, FYI. My absolute go to place for a lot of cleaning stuff, snacks, shower gel.

OP posts:
Original poster
OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:49

I would do a little something for my DS once I got to the new house 100%

Why? He really won't give a hoot. The only thing my DS seems out when he walks through the door is my boobs. Perhaps he just isn't very focused for 1

OP posts:
nomas · 02/12/2018 11:50

Why aren't they on at son and brother?

Original poster
OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:51

Yanbu. But next year I hope you do a tree and some child friendly decorations (even if they don’t coordinations) as your 2 yr old will be old enough to care

Why child friendly decorations? I enjoyed decorating my tree as a child. I never had any child friendly decs though. It was extremely exciting, the tree looked so magical and my Mum put a lot of effort into a lovely Christmas that looked stunning. I was always thrilled at Christmas time

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 02/12/2018 11:51

Do they want you to put the decs up now or after you move? Now would be madness surely? Even after you move is up to you, you've got a lot on and it won't matter not bothering one year, it's not as if your dc is old enough to feel like he's missing out.

Chamomileteaplease · 02/12/2018 11:52

Your child is one year old and as you say, knows nothing about it, nor will he care. I don't blame you - you will have enough to do with unpacking and sorting yourself out.

But most importantly, why do MIL and SIL think they can have an opinion in what you do in your own house?? It is nothing to do with them! Just unbelievable. Nip this in the bud.

Good luck with the move Smile

Original poster
OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:52

nomas I think they think I hold the keys, so to speak. Which I do when it comes to this stuff. DH couldn't be arsed, he isn't bothered one little jot. So long as he gets his gifts Grin

OP posts:
ShannonRockallMalin · 02/12/2018 11:53

It’s entirely up to you if you decorate or not! I certainly wouldn’t if I was about to move house. And I’m sure your one year old won’t notice!

We never put decs up until the last weekend before Christmas and I’ll admit I don’t really like the clutter. It’s always a relief to take them down. We’re not even having a tree this year because we have new kittens who would wreck it in minutes!

Lottapianos · 02/12/2018 11:53

Child friendly decorations? Does no one just teach their kids to not touch stuff any more?

Original poster
OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:56

Lotta This with bells on! I was always allowed to help and enjoy. But I was taught to respect items and knew you just couldn't touch certain things

OP posts:
Handsfull13 · 02/12/2018 11:56

I had the tiniest tree up last year and my twins were nearly one. I did it for me not for them as I put it somewhere they could barely see.
I put my decs up 12 days before Xmas at a maximum so ynbu to not have any up yet.

Presents wise I got my twins two presents each for Xmas last year and they are only get a few this year. They get stuff all year round while they develop so it's not like they don't get new toys. When they are old enough to realise what Xmas is I might do more.

Returnofthesmileybar · 02/12/2018 11:56

See this is one of those things where there is no right or wrong answer. It seems a bit joyless to me to not even find a happy medium, it doesn't need to be the whole hog and it doesn't need to be random tat that will never be used again, something nice in between. But yanbu as it's your house your Christmas, it's each to their own I guess.

We moved house on the 20th two years ago and did our usual decorations, it did add to the stress a bit but it only takes a few hours do not a big deal in the scheme of things.

circleoflife · 02/12/2018 11:56

You'll be unpacking for weeks after you move so yanbu to not bother with decorations! I'd get a 1-year-old a 'new' toy or two to unwrap (possibly from charity shop) do you can take photos of his first (or second) Christmas. I realise that makes me sounds a bit mad!

DorisDances · 02/12/2018 11:57

Maybe a tasteful door wreath that can transfer houses when you move - sends out a welcoming message to your new neighbours

Original poster
OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:58

circle Oh yes, he will have a present or two from us. But it will probably be something I want for him to have Grin Just for the photos. Let's face it, he's only after the wrapping paper anyway and my keys, phone, handbag, remote control, tampons

OP posts:
Original poster
OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:59

Doris Oh I love the sound of that!

OP posts:
Yulebealrite · 02/12/2018 11:59

Just ignore them.

When he is older do as I did. Decorate the main tree in your preferred way and let the dcs have a small one in their bedrooms that can have as much tack —and decorations they make themselves at school-- as they wish.

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