MIL regarding Christmas. AIBU or are they?!

[OhMyHowMerry]

Name changed as incredibly outing.

MIL and SIL are both on at me for not having any decorations up this year. They are also extremely miffed and 'not having it' that we aren't really getting DS any presents. He really does just okay with the wrapping papers.

My reasons are as follows -

We are moving house on the 16th. That's a pain in the arse in itself. I can't be faffing with decs. DH and I both work full time and I can't be dealing with extras on top of moving so close to Christmas.

There is nowhere to put a tree in this living room! But they insist I can have a small on on top of my nice unit  No thank you.

DS (the one it's suppose to be for; according to my in laws), is 1. He isn't bothered. But apparently he is and I should make the effort for him.

They are beside themselves that I won't join in on 'tacky' Christmas decorations and think it's snobby that I have a colour scheme (classic Christmas colours, nice and understated), when I do have decs up.

AIBU and some sort of Christmas grinch? For what it's worth, I adore the Christmas season. I love it all, the shopping, the sales, the food, the family, the sharing and laughter. I love it all. But this year, doing the entire whack just isn't for us.

You are being entirely sensible imo.

I would wind them up since they're being so ridiculous and sticking their noses in ... tell them it's also made you realise that celebrating Christmas every other year going forward also makes more sense. That way you only have to decorate and spend lots of money every 2 years!

Film their reactions for us.

Merry, I see it at work all the time (NHS). Little kids exploring, as they do, opening cupboard doors, pulling posters off walls, throwing leaflets around, and parents don't say a word

We didn't do anything for DS when he was 1 (including not buying him any presents). We have an artificial tree, so did put that up, but don't think we did anything more!

if none of the people in your house care , why bother?

A couple of years ago we had over running building works and barely managed decorations- I think they went to at 10pm
Xmas eve. It happens

They are ridiculous ignore them.

Not everyone puts up decorations in November - it used to be the norm that decorations went up much closer to Christmas and decorating just before you move is madness.

Similarly small children do not need expensive presents - just people and a few things to play with.

Your DS is 1 y/o. Any decorations or gifts are entirely for your benefit, not his. Frankly, he won’t really care next year either. This year, do nothing. Next year, get him a large cardboard box. x

Ignore. You have enough to do without decorating your house for Christmas when you’re trying to move. With DS being 1 you can totally do very little to nothing which is great. In a year or two it will be harder to not do a bit of Christmassing. Right now he is blissfully unaware so just crack on with your moving preparations and don’t get drawn in by MIL/SIL guilt tripping you.

YANBU

I didn't get my DS any presents for his first Christmas (5 months). He had a few from other people though and, yes, he was definitely more interested in the wrapping paper. Didn't get him much for his second either.

My tree won't go up until the 15/16/17th although I've decorated the mantelpiece with a garland and some lights. No way would I be putting up decorations if I was moving on the 16th and probably not at all if my child was so young, under those circumstances!

Your MIL and SIL are being ridiculous. Fine if they would've done it differently under your circumstances (although I am with you) but to voice that so strongly is a bit concerning (as a red flag to their character in general).

If you don't mind then it doesn't matter imo. Personally, I'd do it for me after the move because I adore it all, and for the photos, first Christmas in new house, babies second Christmas etc. But there's certainly no obligation and your baby won't care one way or the other.

None of their business.

I would organise for a door wreath for new house - looks festive, welcoming & just Christmassy for you & DH/DP every time you walk through new door.

Get a small tree - if you don't want to faff how about a small potted e from say M&S or local florist/garden centre - Im talking small like the Bloom & Wild ones.

Get your DS a really big box to unwrap that he will then play with for ages ! Perhaps a personalised stocking to hang in your new house (one for each of you) - can be ordered quickly online & a special decoration to markChristmas for him & that you add to each year ?

Yanbu - at all.

But tbh i think you are just as bad as them sneering at their "tacky" decorations and calling their style less "tasteful" than yours.

Don't you have any decorations already? Why would you need to buy "Poundland tat"?

Defintely not worth decorating BEFORE the move, I certainly wouldn't no matter what age my kids were - they can wait.

Also agree about "child friendly decorations" what fresh hell is this? Lol.
More new fangled bollocks!

Of course YANBU. We moved on 16th Dec. No way we were putting any decorations before then. I cant even remember if we bothered after we moved. With so much to do i think we just bypassed christmas altogther and were less stressed in the process.

Yanbu they are interfering but probably are excited to share his first Christmas. They will have to wait a year! BTW are they inviting you to their celebration?

YANBU. DD is 1, the tree has been put up but shes barely noticed it. I have bought her a felt Christmas tree off eBay to play with and she's barely touched that. She's had one of her Xmas presents off a family member early as they're going away and was far more interested in the wrapping paper than the toy. Given that you're moving house so close to Christmas there's really no point, you'll be busy enough as it is.

Your house, your rules.

Just take him to MIL's house one say, plonk him in front of her tacky tree and make a few pictures for her.

There's no point putting up a tree now to take it down again before xmas. I also don't see how you'll have the time to decorate while unpacking. I'd stop answering the phone for a while.

I would mostly agree with you.

But how old a 1yo?

Dd1 was 14 months at her second Christmas.
When she was just below 2yo a catalogue came through the door with a Christmas tree on the front. This was in September, and we hadn't talked about Christmas, nor had she seen photos.
She picked it up and immediately said "Christmas"

Then she told us where the Christmas tree had gone the previous year, remembered presents (yes, even what one of them was-a book she still liked), who was there, and made a couple of very specific references that had happened, but weren't things that we'd talked about since then.

She doesn't remember that Christmas now, but she certainly did a year later.

You have given them the gift of something to bitch about. Maybe that makes them happy.

Tell them DH is 100% in charge of decorations this year and next

Or pretend you've decided to bring DS up without Christmas because it is damaging consumerist nonsense. Say you'll be having a cheese toastie for Christmas lunch. Just go for it getting more and more grinch until they see the funny side.

Babies like Christmas lights don’t they? I’d put a little something up once you’re in the new house. It will look nice on the ‘first Christmas in the new house’ photos too.

I agree that it's daft to decorate if you're moving on the 16th.

But you lost me withthe sneery Poundland, tack, taste stuff.

God I hate people like this. Not everyone wants their house to look like a gaudier version of santa's grotto from 1st december. We have a tree and that's it - and it won't be up for a fortnight. If I was in the position of the OP with a baby and moving house there would be NO decorations at all!

MIL thinks I'm a joyless humbug probably as she's the "neon santa in the window, three fibreoptic trees and paper chains from the ceiling" type. I think her decorations are a tacky tat-fest, she thinks I'm a miserable cow for not spending a small fortune on tat from Poundland.

So we don't talk about it.

Not a chance I’d put decorations up if we were moving. Pretty sure we didn’t do decorations when ds was 1 either. We have to now the children are older, I’d enjoy your last opportunities not to!

OP if you moved in next to me on 16 Dec and had the house decorated and the tree up the same day I'd think you were either super organised or slightly eccentric. I'd be sitting staring at boxes wondering where I'd put the kettle/wine.

The year DD was 1 she had just started walking and whilst quite well behaved would have used the tree for balance so we skipped it. Also our living space was quite cramped and the tree would have been too much.

Just ignore them. I would do the same as you if I was in your shoes. I don’t envy people with over involved families.

They are crazeeee :)

I know a lot of one year olds, I'm a nursery assistant. The thing they like ia a floating foil balloon, they don't go pop and they can crawl or toddle after it. A Christmas balloon is a good present and doubles as a decoration. Sorted.