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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL regarding Christmas. AIBU or are they?!

71 replies

OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 11:40

Name changed as incredibly outing.

MIL and SIL are both on at me for not having any decorations up this year. They are also extremely miffed and 'not having it' that we aren't really getting DS any presents. He really does just okay with the wrapping papers.

My reasons are as follows -

We are moving house on the 16th. That's a pain in the arse in itself. I can't be faffing with decs. DH and I both work full time and I can't be dealing with extras on top of moving so close to Christmas.

There is nowhere to put a tree in this living room! But they insist I can have a small on on top of my nice unit No thank you.

DS (the one it's suppose to be for; according to my in laws), is 1. He isn't bothered. But apparently he is and I should make the effort for him.

They are beside themselves that I won't join in on 'tacky' Christmas decorations and think it's snobby that I have a colour scheme (classic Christmas colours, nice and understated), when I do have decs up.

AIBU and some sort of Christmas grinch? For what it's worth, I adore the Christmas season. I love it all, the shopping, the sales, the food, the family, the sharing and laughter. I love it all. But this year, doing the entire whack just isn't for us.

OP posts:

GetOffTheTableMabel · 02/12/2018 13:05

You are being sensible and they are a couple of nosey nutters.
I think it’s really important that you not indulge any of their meddling. Who on earth do they think they are? Even if they are thinking that, why do they think it’s acceptable to say it to you. Rude.
Set some boundaries now. If they haven’t got anything nice to say, they should just shut up. About everything, not just Christmas.

Biker47 · 02/12/2018 13:06

If I was moving on the 16th i wouldn't even have a majority of my regular everyday stuff out, it would all already be packed away, never mind fucking around with Christmas decorations.

toomuchtooold · 02/12/2018 13:12

God, a one year old and a house move is more than enough to be getting on with. Keep your Christmas powder dry till next and future years when he'll actually care.

scunner · 02/12/2018 13:14

What a sensible person you are! Ignore the gruesome twosome and continue to get on with the move. I presume they have not come up with any practical help for the day of the move.

ShakespearesSisters · 02/12/2018 13:15

We moved on the 20th December, my daughter was 10 months the next day. I just put the tree up, because I love it. We went to my parents for Christmas day as we didn't have a table and the kitchen was barely functional

DownAndUnder · 02/12/2018 13:15

I moved on December 18th last year and there’s no way I’d have done a tree/decorations if DS wasn’t old enough to understand, it was ridiculously stressful.

Pinkprincess1978 · 02/12/2018 13:18

I LOVE Christmas and I'm known for it but we too moved on the 16th December a couple of years ago and didn't put any decorations up.

But.... the main tree was up before we went to bed that first night 😂

I agree on limited presents for a 1 year old. They really don't need much and won't remember any of it.

Fluckle · 02/12/2018 13:18

I completely agree that you have great reasons for not being bothered. Good luck with your move!

This is only a suggestion IF you change your mind later....buy a small live tree in a pot and plant it in your garden afterwards. That way you'll always have a reminder of your first Christmas in the new house and can put (tasteful!) Outdoor decorations on it in coming years. We did this when we moved on Dec 1st 15 years ago and now have a beautiful fir tree in the garden.

averythinline · 02/12/2018 13:21

I think a wreath would be nice as you can move it! I would also do fairy lights/Christmas on new place - ds loved fairy lights and was mesmirised by tree and some moving decorations at that age...

HJWT · 02/12/2018 13:34

At 1YO, all my DD did was keeping taking my decs of the tree!! So no I wouldn't bother

BlimeyCalmDown · 02/12/2018 13:43

Do what I do these days (mine has grown up) and plug in a twig tree :), funnily enough my window looks the best in my street even if I do say so myself!

MerdedeBrexit · 02/12/2018 13:50

They are very unreasonable to want the decorations up so soon. Just put an Advent wreath up, as someone suggested above, and tell them that "traditionally" the tree and the decorations should only be put up on Christmas Eve and then not taken down till the Epiphany on 6th January. So they are doing it all wrong

cricketmum84 · 02/12/2018 14:01

@Yulebealrite I do this too.

Main tree in the living room in my "taste" Nordic themed red, white and wooden decs. Then a second tree in the upstairs hall for the kids that has as much tinsel and loud garish decorations that they can throw at it 😂😂

InfiniteVariety · 02/12/2018 14:02

They sound awful OP but you seem robustly cheerful and strong-minded enough to be able to withstand their nonsense!

Good luck with your move and have a tree thereafter or not as you choose - either way the baby won't remember.

Maelstrop · 02/12/2018 14:14

What has it got to do with them? You're right, a one year old won't care at all. Plus and more importantly, it's YOUR house, not theirs. They don't get to dictate what you do in your home.

GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 14:29

since when is it law in thos country to have decorations i dont bother-tell them to drop it

Di11y · 02/12/2018 14:46

we did a door wreath and Christmas card to the new neighbours when we moved in November. got lots of cards back so good way of finding out names.

TheWernethWife · 02/12/2018 15:35

My decorations won't be up until 20th, early enough in my opinion. No tree either as I have cats who will try to climb it (maybe not but not chancing it).9

5foot5 · 02/12/2018 18:05

YANBU

When we moved here it was on the 10th December and we had enough to do before the move without putting up decorations that would then have to be taken down again. That's just bonkers.

IIRC we did get a tree up after the move, but not straight away as we didn't even have carpets for the first few days.

Your MIL and SIL should mind their own business.

TailEndCharlie · 02/12/2018 18:20

We moved house on the 18th December to our current house when DD1 was 2 and DD2 was 6 months. We didn't do decs at all it was just too much! I think I put a wreath on the door and that was it! But we got to Christmas Eve and suddenly felt it was desperately unfestive to not have a tree for the 2 yr old so we bought a MASSIVE tree at 4pm on Xmas Eve (that cost us a fiver! Bargain!) and just threw some lights on it. The house was full of boxes and decs would have been ridiculous. The kids have no memory whatsoever of Xmas that year so really do not stress about it. Just do whatever makes you feel festive and if that is just necking some mulled wine and lighting a festive candle then that is fine! Inlaws can sod off. And YANBU for dodging tacky decs!!

Original poster

OhMyHowMerry · 02/12/2018 20:43

Just ignore them. I would do the same as you if I was in your shoes. I don’t envy people with over involved families.

Overly involved when it suits. Nowhere to be seen when it doesn't

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