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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to let ex DH take DS to a concert.

103 replies

MissingCalifornia · 01/12/2018 17:21

I saw ex, we only parted ways three weeks ago so I’m prepared to be told that is clouding my judgment.
Today is DS’s birthday and he was gifted concert tickets to an act that I find inappropriate for his age (he’s 13) by DH. STBXH knows how I feel about this act so I’m pretty sure the whole thing is to undermine me and put me in a difficult position.
I’ve said to DS that I need think about him attending the concert which has spoiled his birthday lunch with relatives as he has sulked the whole way through it.
AIBU to stick to my guns and not let him go?

OP posts:
MaidenMotherCrone · 01/12/2018 17:38

Rammstein no
Amon Amarth hell yes

WorraLiberty · 01/12/2018 17:40

This thread is like pulling teeth

Original poster
MissingCalifornia · 01/12/2018 17:40

No DH isn’t DS’s dad but has been in his life for a long time. It’s all a bit of a mess and this is just one more thing. I’m thinking I should just let him go but it will be yet another little victory for DH when I specifically said not get DS the tickets

OP posts:
Urbanbeetler · 01/12/2018 17:40

If it’s not his dad, that’s very different.

user1484424013 · 01/12/2018 17:41

What us the band.. ffs how can anyone say if it's inappropriate

Urbanbeetler · 01/12/2018 17:41

Look- don’t think in terms of winners and losers where you and exh are concerned. Just purely think of your son. Cast aside your own bitterness here.

BertrandRussell · 01/12/2018 17:41

You won't say what band it is. The only reason I can think of for that is that you know you are being unreasonable.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 01/12/2018 17:41

YABU

MissMalice · 01/12/2018 17:41

it will be yet another little victory for DH

Your children are not a battleground.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 01/12/2018 17:42

It would help if we knew which band it is.

NotACleverName · 01/12/2018 17:43

Just tell us who the bloody band is ffs.

TwistedStitch · 01/12/2018 17:43

As he's not his Dad then it's obviously your call, but if he has been an involved stepparent for a long time and your son wants to maintain a relationship with him then I would let them assuming the act wasn't something terrible.

ChasedByBees · 01/12/2018 17:43

It would help to know who the band is, but if he doesn’t have parental responsibility, didn’t even see him on his birthday and bought a gift to annoy you, then I would resell the tickets and buy something else for your DS.

starrynight19 · 01/12/2018 17:44

By the very fact you won’t mention the band I think you probably are being unreasonable and this is more about you being bitter with dh.

Serialweightwatcher · 01/12/2018 17:44

We're waiting ...............

Bestseller · 01/12/2018 17:45

I really envy my adultt friends who go to concerts with their parents and my friends who go with their DC, it's lovely that they can share this interest.

I agree we need to know what the act is but surely there's be an age restriction if it was that inappropriate?

SD1978 · 01/12/2018 17:45

Can we start guessing? I'm going with the wiggles!

Original poster
MissingCalifornia · 01/12/2018 17:48

I’ll accept I’m being U. I do want him to mantiain a relationship with his step father.

OP posts:
QueenDoria · 01/12/2018 17:48

Is it The Structly Live Tour?

QueenDoria · 01/12/2018 17:48

A DUP convention?

QueenDoria · 01/12/2018 17:49

Some sort of Folk Music thang?

Petalflowers · 01/12/2018 17:49

What does your son think? Does he like this band?

As Missmalice says, don’t let your children be a battleground.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 01/12/2018 17:50

It's the Spice Girls, isn't it? Grin

I was going to say that if it isn't a safeguarding issue then you need to let it go, but that was on the understanding you shared parental responsibility... I'm not sure if your update makes any difference to that view or not.

If you have genuine concerns about the gig (can't imagine why, though) then it might be OK to say no. But to be honest it feels like the concert/DS birthday are being used by both of you as pawns in your battle. Don't get caught up in that, OP.

Bestseller · 01/12/2018 17:51

The only act I can think of which doesn't have an age restriction but might be inappropriate is a girlband/female singer who wears over sexualised costumes but that would open a can or worms about whether they should be free to wear what they want.

TeddybearBaby · 01/12/2018 17:54

Why are you being cagey about the band 🤨