how common is it for marriage to a disliked spouse to end a close sibling relationship?

[LetsKillAllTheElves]

My best friend used to be super-close to her brother. They had an adorable supportive sibling relationship I was jealous of. Her brother married a bit of a bitch who he adored. My friend tried to maintain a relationship with her brother but its ended up with them barely speaking - because she doesn't like his wife and he won't tolerate anyone who doesn't think she is a wonder. It's so sad.

Recent media stories about Harry & William becoming distant apparently due to dislike of Meghan, made me wonder how common this is?

I don''t mean normal rubbing along together when you tolerate someone but don't really like them.

I mean - how common is it for close siblings with a great relationship ending up in a very different place and emotionally distant because one has married a partner that the other one thinks is no good for them?

I'm a bit worried as my sister is in a relationship a bit like this and I fear for our future if she marries this guy - especially after what happened with my best friend.

Is this a common thing?

My brother’s daughter lives thousands of miles away and we lost our youngest sister. When his new partner tried to alienate us/make out we were monsters, he told her that he’d choose us over her. Doesn’t stop it rearing it’s head every now and again.

The most ridiculous thing is that we actually get on really well - it’s her family that have an issue with my parents/me and my sister. So it’s infuriating when she creates a drama/lets her mother (who we have zero relationship with) make out we’ve done something. She’s not learnt yet that I’m the first person my brother comes to when she ‘starts’.

I just want them to have a lovely life together but fear she’ll ultimately sabotage it. My brother’s lost enough - he isn’t prepared to lose me and other sister too! Which is his choice, not mine - I’ve told him I just want him to be happy!

My brother's wife is awful but she's his wife and I would expect him to put her first even if it means us losing touch. That's how it goes.

I have a feeling slot of those issues are to do with us bringing up sons to feel like it’s not part of their character to be compassionate/concerned for the rest of their family.. to not put effort with their sisters.. to always take take take..

And when they go on to a new home and find a new person to “take take take” from, we end up feeling alienated.

In reality, they just were never used to giving. And their relationship with us was based on us giving, which was easy to substitute.

There is also an element of sexism when a wife sees her husband giving towards his mother and sister and she starts feeling insecure, like he has a creepy relationship with his sister ... because she isn’t used to that herself from home...

We are just a society that’s a bit messed up when it comes to defining relationships beyond the bedroom.