To be worried by how bad at maths / numeracy dd is?

[Cheekysquirrel]

My dd is nearly 3 - although was just over two months prem but apparently that shouldn’t matter now - and she just has no clue. None.
She can barely count to 10. If I ask her ‘how many’ she just looks vacantly at me. She will independently say ‘I’ve got two’ or ‘I’ve got three’ but she can’t touch count to save her life.
My friend’s daughter the same age can touch count to 10 and also recognise that if the has 5 or something and uses 2 she will have 3. My son was also very good at maths by 3.
Dd can’t recognise any numbers apart from 1 and 3 - although she’s got quite a lot of letters and has picked those up from alphablocks on her own - but numbers she has absolutely no idea. She’s got shapes, she knows how to share in half and quarters by breaking up a biscuit for example but actual numbers and counting she is just vacant.
I’ve tried number songs and playing games etc and still no.
She starts preschool in January and Im worried she will be miles behind already.

Does anyone have any good games that might help her? Has anyone had similar with their child and they’ve turned out to be ok at numeracy when they go to school?

Yabu

No as others have said you are really panicking over nothing. 1:1 correspondence of numbers to things is a tricky concept that is practised well into infant school - I remember being impressed with a kid in Y2 who was counting children and who had to take a few steps between each child, not getting ahead of himself. Many children would lack the self-control and would move the numbers on more quickly than the line of children.

Pre-numeracy activities that help with the concept of 1:1 correspondence include matching lids to pots, keys to locks, shapes to holes etc. Pre-numeracy in general includes sequencing, grouping & matching games.

I trained as a Montessori teacher - the first true numeracy activity we do is the large number rods - these are solid and show the physical respresentation of a number. Symbols come second, then the two linked together and only then do we come to 1:1 correspondence (spindle boxes). Unless there was real interest and the ability to concentrate earlier, I would be introducing the numeracy activities in the third year. Remember numbers are an abstract concept - that’s why Montessori starts with things you can look at and touch first, so children understand the difference between quantities. I expect a lot of your DDs peers are chanting, to an extent.

I think the op has had some harsh responses, I presume many of us have a quick look at what other toddlers are doing to check our own is ok.
Op, if there's many other things she's 'behind' at, you might have cause to worry, but this alone is nothing to worry about. Even other things, they all develop at different rates. You would 'know' if something was wrong.
I think you might be looking for things that she's behind at, and ignoring things she's ahead at. I did the opposite. Thought my dds were marvellous, because I only looked at things they were ahead at. And then another mother said to me about how 'ahead' her dc were, and I thought wtaf, turns out she was assessing totally different things.

Pretty sure that latest research shows prem babies won't have caught up by the time they start school. But even if your daughter is showing early signs of dyspraxia (sp?) There is no point in worrying or doing anything different to what you are already doing. In several years' time, if it becomes an issue, then you can seek advice. But there is nothing wrong with her maths skills if she can quarter a cookie.

Oh and my youngest was a perm baby as well, he was behind in e erything but I learnt not to compare him to his brother who was term

I'm sure we all worried about our first (I assume she's your first) and compare them.

She's fine, really she is. Just count stuff as you go about life - steps, trees, lamp posts... you don't need to teach her at this stage she will pick it up, honest!

Dd can’t recognise any numbers apart from 1 and 3 - although she’s got quite a lot of letters and has picked those up from alphablocks on her own - but numbers she has absolutely no idea.

Given this Number jacks Could well be what you need to feel you are doing something to help.

Though I really don't think you need to worry yet at all.

You are being unreasonable. Just relax and let your DD choose the things she’s interested in.

I assumed this was going to be about an 8yo. 2? Two?! (OK, 'practically 3' - but still, ?!?)

Mine was 3 two months ago and she can't 'touch count' (whatever that is - presumably pointing at stuff and counting?) reliably to 5, let alone 10. Better prepare myself for her life as an educational failure.

Practical stuff - real-world, hands-on skills relevant to their daily lives - like dividing into halves and quarters is a lot more important and indicative (though not very much is truly indicative at this stage) than numbers - which after all are pretty abstract concepts - at this age.

"Pretty sure that latest research shows prem babies won't have caught up by the time they start school."

Did someone say that they catch up by school?! If so yes, that is totally wrong. Very prem babies often face issues throughout life. Anecdotes such as 'my DD was prem and went to Cambridge' is all very well, but statistically they are likely to struggle more than term babies with many aspects of learning.
I totally agree that OP shouldn't be consumed by worry at this stage, but equally there are some things I wish I'd known earlier about how ex-prem babies develop. I'd have fought much harder, for instance, to have my DS delay starting school by a year.

To inaccurately quote a MN phrase,

“Your daughter doesn’t have a numeracy problem, she has an anxious, performance obsessed mother problem”. Careful you don’t convince her she is faulty in some way because as she gets older she’ll pick up on your irrational compare and despair. She’s two.

1. Stop worrying because she is only 2 and different children develop at different ages.
2. Focus on counting objects with her rather than worry about recognising number symbols. Start with 1-5 or 1-3 to give you both confidence before moving onto higher n

You seem to be getting a beating from some rather aggressive posters, OP, which is unkind of them when you are simply anxious and seeking reassurance.
It’s natural to compare your child with her peer group, and worry if she seems behind. Perhaps your friends are all high powered tiger mothers who have pushed numeracy and literacy early, to get their kids into top selective prep schools later. Or you may just have a friend group who are all skewed toward the high end of the IQ spectrum.
My DD was reading and counting fluently at 2 and doing simple addition at 3, but she has an IQ of 160 and later got a maths degree. It didn’t worry her friends that they weren’t doing the same at her age.
Don’t stress your child, but play enjoyable counting games, get plastic magnetic numbers to stick on the fridge, foam rubber numbers to play with in the bath, read toddler story books that cover numbers, get her to help share out biscuits etc by counting them. Keep it light hearted and fun, and she will get there in her own time. It certainly doesn’t sound like she has a developmental delay, so try to relax.

Oops.
... before moving on to higher numbers.
3) Numicon (not numericon) is really good to use with number recognition (as in “four-ness” of a group of objects rather than recognising a 4 symbol) and then later on with so much in maths. I still use it with children in Y6!

My daughter is also nearly 3. She can't count yet, or correctly answer "How many". She's also, apparently (according to hv and nursery) very bright. We've had various referrals and interventions as she has substantial physical developmental delays and everyone who sees her comments on how bright she is. Your DD doesn't sound any less bright to me. Calm down, in the nicest possible way, you are being ridiculous!

Being 2 months prem absolutely does matter. Educationally she will be differentiated until at least 7 for the age difference. Also, there is a some research to show that prem children can be slower at picking up maths in the beginning, though this picks up. My 2 month prem DS couldn’t reliably count to 5 when he started reception, but he’s fine now in year 2.

She is only 2 and what she is doing is perfectly normal for her age. Just let her enjoy being 2.

What I mean us, she really is just 2. There is no need to panic! Just keep counting on everyday life, singing 5 Green and Speckled Frogs until you’re driven bonkers etc etc and chill! 😄

When DGS was 3 I asked him how many soldiers (there were seven) he had placed on the side of the bath. He took a look and said, "All of them" and he was right

I wouldn't worry, mums at this stage can be very milestones focussed - it's bloody annoying and makes you feel like shit as a parent. Far too young to be doing books or anything with her. My DS now 16 was slow off the mark on so many levels. I was later mortified to discover much of this was attributable to him having chronic glue ear which had caused about a 30% hearing loss....that made me feel really shit, as we hadn't got a clue there was anything wrong, so always worth checking the ears are ok!

I suppose you could get her counting smarties or choc buttons or something fun like that maybe? I wouldn't make a big deal of this. You could do more harm than good.

She will suddenly get it. Just practice but don't make a big deal out of it. Mine was the same she could count to 10 but couldn't relate this to how many objects she had. She likes playing board games and games where you have to have a certain number of items / counters etc and through these it just clicked one day. Please don't worry some kids have just started speaking properly by then!

Ding, ding ding, catch a bus to life, as they say around here.

She is a baby. Let her enjoy her childhood. She's fine, really.

mine couldn’t count to 10 when he started reception. exceeding expectations for maths now (year 1). early counting is mostly copying, very few kids at that age can do more than reciting numbers in order . very few have any understanding of what it means