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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried by how bad at maths / numeracy dd is?

105 replies

Cheekysquirrel · 01/12/2018 08:31

My dd is nearly 3 - although was just over two months prem but apparently that shouldn’t matter now - and she just has no clue. None.
She can barely count to 10. If I ask her ‘how many’ she just looks vacantly at me. She will independently say ‘I’ve got two’ or ‘I’ve got three’ but she can’t touch count to save her life.
My friend’s daughter the same age can touch count to 10 and also recognise that if the has 5 or something and uses 2 she will have 3. My son was also very good at maths by 3.
Dd can’t recognise any numbers apart from 1 and 3 - although she’s got quite a lot of letters and has picked those up from alphablocks on her own - but numbers she has absolutely no idea. She’s got shapes, she knows how to share in half and quarters by breaking up a biscuit for example but actual numbers and counting she is just vacant.
I’ve tried number songs and playing games etc and still no.
She starts preschool in January and Im worried she will be miles behind already.

Does anyone have any good games that might help her? Has anyone had similar with their child and they’ve turned out to be ok at numeracy when they go to school?

OP posts:
Danglingmod · 01/12/2018 09:08

Ps. My ds could "count" at 15 months... He's autistic.

CecilyP · 01/12/2018 09:08

She isn’t a baby, she will be at school in just over 18 months. Think what they expect of them. I just don’t want her to go in already miles behind

18 months is half a lifetime for her! Do you seriously think she won't make a huge amount of progress in time. And thinking of what they expect of them, it is pretty much what you're expecting now!

Flowerpot2005 · 01/12/2018 09:09

I'm all for helping little people progress but this is OTT. All pushing a child achieves is crushing their confidence because most of the time, the parent wants a child genius & the child's expected to perform at a level they just aren't ready for.

Lighten up, go & play with her.

bigKiteFlying · 01/12/2018 09:10

Surely at this age it's all fun counting games ? Counting objects together – making games out of recognising numbers in few months’ time.

I don't think it's anything to worry about yet.

When she more 3 watch things like the number jacks and keep up counting games and exposure to numbers and then talk to the nursery/preschool.

Two of mine had problems with maths in year 1 another year 3- started mathsfactor both in top set for maths at secondary.

Is this actually concern about her being early and having delays? DH was born very early - 2 months in late 70's and is first in his family to get to university, got 5 As at A-level, got first has gone to have a brilliant career.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 01/12/2018 09:12

Honestly, OP - it is perfectly normal for a child not to be able to count at 2. And at 3.

I can understand your concern because of your previous experience of seeing differences between your son and other children his age, which turned out to be significant. But in this case, you need to ease off and stop maths testing your 2 year old!

Thatwasfast · 01/12/2018 09:14

Is you friends DD in nursery?
Nursery bring s them along loads before 3, so that may be why your noticing differences. It’ll all balance out later.

I don’t think you deserve the roasting you’ve had. But seriously, chill. If she’s not very good at maths, it’s not the end of the world, is it? She’ll be fine

TeenTimesTwo · 01/12/2018 09:15

Prem can take a long time to unwind.
School is 21 months away (or 20 if you are in Scotland). That is nearly 2 years

Stop worrying. Carry on playing counting games gently.

Stop worrying

Worry in 2 years' time if necessary, but not now.

MonaChopsis · 01/12/2018 09:17

My DD is year 4, and currently working at year 6 level in Maths according to her teacher.

Aged nearly three, she had a totally irrational aversion to the number 5, and even trying to count with her would lead to full on weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, "DON'T SAY THAT NUMBER TO ME!!" -style.

Chill. Out.

Parker231 · 01/12/2018 09:17

Why do you want her to be able to count so early? If she is struggling at the end of Reception, check with her teacher if there is a problem.

Sirzy · 01/12/2018 09:18

By the way ds cokld count to 10 just after be turned one. He is 9 now and still struggles with maths.

DappledThings · 01/12/2018 09:18

I've hesitated over posting this because I am no expert in anxiety or anything related but thought it might stop a bit of a pile on.

I'm pretty sure I recognise this poster as someone who has had concerns constantly over their DD from missing the rotavirus jab to needing the chicken pox one and being overweight and being diabetic.

OP More recent posts seem like your own mental health is in a better place than it was but that you are still finding things to worry about that you shouldn't.

My apologies if this is overstepping the mark but I think a bit of background is important here.

frogsoup · 01/12/2018 09:19

Firstly, yes she's 2, so don't worry yet.
But to go against the flow of the thread, there is increasing evidence that prematurity affects maths skills most particularly. If you google search it you'll find references. Forewarned is forewarned and all that. My v bright v prem 8yo has great struggles in this area and he was similar to your dd at that age.

bigKiteFlying · 01/12/2018 09:20

She isn’t a baby, she will be at school in just over 18 months. Think what they expect of them. I just don’t want her to go in already miles behind.

In reception they like to them to able to dress and recognise their name - not all could in any of mine classes and they had pictures to help with name recognition.

Ds was behind in year 1 – bottom sets – we put in support at home and he got some at school and by start of year 3 he was in top sets – he just started secondary where they set he’s in top sets and they are really pleased with his levels.

You're worrying to early - just keep doing fun games and if you are surrounded by competitive other mothers try and tune it out or avoid them.

Blanchedupetitpois · 01/12/2018 09:20

She isn’t a baby, she will be at school in just over 18 months.

18 months is half her life again away! Can’t you see how much of her life that is, and how much she will develop before then?

Maryann1975 · 01/12/2018 09:24

I clicked on this thread based on the title, thinking your child might be around 8+ and I was going to tell you dd struggled with maths until last year (year 7) when it all kind of clicked in to place and she finally got it. She was just a bit later than others at developing her maths brain.

Please don’t worry that your 2 year old can’t do her numbers yet. All children are different and they all learn at different rates and I believe the worst thing you can do at this stage is push them all the time. Give her time and lay off the pressure.

Have you heard of school readiness? What reception teachers actually want is socially ready children, those who know how to hold a book and turn pages, sit and listen to a story, toilet themselves, put their own coat and shoes on and behave socially with the other children. They don’t need children to know letters and numbers, that’s what they will teach them.

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/12/2018 09:25

Have a look at the Ages and Stages questionnaire for 30 month olds. There is a section on problem solving (not numeracy!) which covers numbers and see what you think:

www.southernhealth.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd?AssetID=99677&type=full&servicetype=Inline

I doubt your DD is behind according to that questionnaire. Pre school isn't school, she doesn't need to be able to count to 20 or whatever before she starts. That's what will come when she's there and then also in reception. Children develop at different rates and it's not always linear, it can be in leaps and jumps.

FlyingElbows · 01/12/2018 09:26

Why are you surprised that your not even three year old child hasn't grasped concepts we teach (and therein lies the difference) to children twice her age and older? There is a world of difference between being able to parrot numbers and actually knowing and understanding the underlying principles and being able to apply them. Your child is not even three!

ADastardlyThing · 01/12/2018 09:27

"my dd is nearly 3"

Sorry op I couldn't read beyond that, turn it in.

PurpleDaisies · 01/12/2018 09:29

She isn’t a baby, she will be at school in just over 18 months. Think what they expect of them. I just don’t want her to go in already miles behind.

When the arrive in reception they expect nothing of them. Teachers then start teaching them stuff.

You’re being ridiculous here.

OhFlipMama · 01/12/2018 09:32

Hah nearly 3? I couldn't read further, sorry.

Fizzyhedgehog · 01/12/2018 09:32

I teach first grade. My pupils are 6 (about to turn 7) and are starting to count to 20.
I also have a child in my class, who should be in 3rd grade and is still struggling to count to 20. Now, THAT is concerning.

I couldn't care less that my 2-year-old can't count, yet. He doesn't really talk, yet, either. He's five years away from starting school here.
Get a grip. Seriously.

bigKiteFlying · 01/12/2018 09:33

Numericon was recomended by the school and preschool - they got played with and later counted and put together - baking is usually considered good for maths. Counting lego peices - dolls whatever - number of red blue items - pointing out house numbers just everyday stuff helps them at this age.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 01/12/2018 09:33

All the testing and comparing that's in place nowadays has created childhood performance paranoia within society and it makes me sad!

Bring back fun and frivolity and innocent pleasures. This Mensa-fied approach sucks the joy out of everything.

Stormy76 · 01/12/2018 09:35

Every child develops at a different rate but honestly you should not worry about this at this age. Knowing shapes colours and being able to go to the toilet is about as good as it gets for most 2 year olds hahaha she is doing absolutely fine and you should never compare her to another child. If there is an issue the professionals will spot it, at this age children learn through play so relax and enjoy playing with your child and stop worrying about the mini Einstein down the road. Neither of mine knew how to count before nursery.....they are both fully functioning adults.

Chocaholicjellybelly · 01/12/2018 09:36

Give your daughter a break for goodness sake.She’s not even 3.I think you’re expecting too much from her. Yes some children can recognise numbers and count at that age but if they can’t I wouldn’t say they were behind in numeracy.My DS recognised numbers,could count beyond 20 and do simple adding/ subtraction by the time he was 2 and a half and was way ahead of his friends. I would say his friends were numeracy appropriate for their age and my son just loved numbers( he’s now an accountant!).I wouldn’t worry about your daughter.