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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is he just thick or completely inconsiderate?

74 replies

Dolly49 · 30/11/2018 15:46

So, my due date is tomorrow and whilst I know babies don’t normally arrive on time would your oh have disappeared off out with his mates drinking at 3pm????
Bearing in mind none of them can have a couple of pints - this will turn into absolutely pissed up and turning back up at whatever time.

Plus our local pub has terrible phone signal so unlikely I could get hold of him even if I needed to!
Who does that at this stage in a pregnancy?!
Complete and utter dickhead 🙄🙄

OP posts:
BentNeckLady · 30/11/2018 15:48

He’s both of those things and an complete twat too.

Nicknacky · 30/11/2018 15:49

It depends if he is going to get blootered or just have one drink/soft drink? His pals can get drunk if they want but surely he knows he has to be sensible? And if you needed him urgently you could phone the pub?

CantWaitToRetire · 30/11/2018 15:50

Well...he could be either to be honest. Your partner should absolutely not be going out getting drunk when you're due. True, a lot of babies don't turn up on time, but I'm sure some do, and others come early. So if you were to go into full on labour tonight, how would you be expected to get to the hospital? If he had any consideration he'd be straight home and looking after you because even if you're not in labour, I'm sure you could do with some help and TLC at this point. What an arse!

Bananalanacake · 30/11/2018 15:52

How will you get to hospital if he's been drinking in an emergency

TinyMarie · 30/11/2018 15:53

I would be livid! I assume he'll be hungover tomorrow so not much use to you then either should you need anything.

Nesssie · 30/11/2018 15:53

Baby could come 2 days early, 3 days early, a month early. Is he not suppose to go out and drink in the month leading up?

Hes probably nervous and looking for a distraction.

Snowwontbelong · 30/11/2018 15:53

Text him later and say you have given birth in the bathroom.
He is a twat.

Nicknacky · 30/11/2018 15:54

What was the conversation before he went out about labour and if you needed him?

HollowTalk · 30/11/2018 15:54

I would be so pissed off at that. I'd be tempted to go to a friend's house or my mum's and let him wonder where the hell I was.

Oobis · 30/11/2018 15:54

I'd be packing my bag and heading off somewhere I could be looked after by someone sober/not hung over/not going to come home late, pissed and loud. You need to be indulged, feet up, food and drink supplied and happy. I'm so sorry your partner isn't the one to do this with you

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 30/11/2018 15:55

Both.

Wow. What a selfish twat.

Text him later and say you have given birth in the bathroom.

Grin love this idea! Please do it.

Tatgalore · 30/11/2018 15:58

Well I think he's a complete cunt.

To the pp who said is he supposed to not go out drinking in the month leading up, well yes, that's usually the idea.

Dh didn't, we were expecting a baby, it was imminent.

You'll get people on here claiming to have given birth alone while their husbands were on holiday, and it's no big deal and so on.

OutPinked · 30/11/2018 16:00

Hopefully not a sign of selfish things to come OP.

Tatgalore · 30/11/2018 16:01

Did you speak to him and tell him your position on this? What did he say?

I can believe people stay in relationships like this, I'd rather be alone because if your partner can't even stay sober and on hand at a time like this, you might as well be alone.

Witchend · 30/11/2018 16:05

It's not that bad in the scheme of things. Probably better he does it now than when the baby's a few days old and won't settle except in someone's arms.
With no signs of labour imminent (or it would be in your OP) it's unlikely to be too fast to get hold of him.

Original poster
Dolly49 · 30/11/2018 16:07

He just carried on as though I’m not pregnant tbh, it doesn’t seem to have sunk in whatsoever!
And he’s got no off switch - he either doesn’t drink at all or he’s completely over the top.
Plus he has already been out twice this week so it’s not that urgent I’m sure to be out tonight as well?!
I don’t actually think he means to be an arsehole but has the attitude of just because I can’t go out drinking why shouldn’t he?!
Could have taken me out for some tea or something? Done something together before the baby comes?
Instead I’m sat in again on my own bored, yay 🙄🙄🤬

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 30/11/2018 16:08

So he might not drink then?

KittenOfWoe · 30/11/2018 16:08

What an absolute wanker!! My DH didn't drink for around a month before our due date to be sure. Priorities, ffs!!
Did he okay it with you? I would have given him hell at the suggestion tbh.

Lovemusic33 · 30/11/2018 16:10

i don’t think he means to be a ass hole but he is one, I’m sure no one means to be but he’s a inconsiderate ass hole. Good luck bringing a child up with this man Sad

Original poster
Dolly49 · 30/11/2018 16:10

Witchend - I know the baby won’t come that fast that I wouldn’t be able to get hold of him but I don’t want him in the delivery room pissed up either!!

OP posts:
NicePieceOfPlaid · 30/11/2018 16:11

Of course he's an arsehole. You're kidding yourself if you think otherwise. Do you really want this prick to be a father to your baby? You'd be better off single.

bringbackthestripes · 30/11/2018 16:12

Instead I’m sat in again on my own bored, yay

If he is behaving like this the day before your DD, is he going to change when the baby is actually here? Hmm
Wishing you a save &speedy delivery op.

TinyMarie · 30/11/2018 16:12

My Dad was hungover slouched at the end of my Mum's hospital bed the day I was born as he thought it a good idea to go out on the lash the night before.
I don't blame you for being annoyed at all and you should be top priority right now!

Original poster
Dolly49 · 30/11/2018 16:16

Nicknacky - oh he’ll defo drink - I meant he either doesn’t go out so doesn’t drink
If he’s in the pub with his mates it will be a mess, absolutely no doubt about it

I’m also a bit naffed off as we don’t seem to be doing anything - it’s like cos I can’t do anything “exciting” I’m just left at home. I guess I just feel like I’m getting the shit end of the deal all the time
Just needed a little rant tonight!

OP posts:
Wordthe · 30/11/2018 16:18

classic abuser behaviour, abandon you when you're at your most vulnerable