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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is he just thick or completely inconsiderate?

74 replies

Dolly49 · 30/11/2018 15:46

So, my due date is tomorrow and whilst I know babies don’t normally arrive on time would your oh have disappeared off out with his mates drinking at 3pm????
Bearing in mind none of them can have a couple of pints - this will turn into absolutely pissed up and turning back up at whatever time.

Plus our local pub has terrible phone signal so unlikely I could get hold of him even if I needed to!
Who does that at this stage in a pregnancy?!
Complete and utter dickhead 🙄🙄

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 30/11/2018 16:18

God help you when your little one actually arrives... they are much easier when they are inside your tummy....

What's he going to do when you REALLY need him to help?

mamaslave18 · 30/11/2018 16:19

Erm first babies can come fast! My first labour started and progressed very rapidly. I was expecting hours and hours before having to go to hospital. I lasted just over an hour.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 30/11/2018 16:20

Hes selfish.My dh didn't drink the whole time I was pregnant which is extreme but his choice

Wordthe · 30/11/2018 16:20

I’m just left at home
it feels natural to him to do this because in his mind he is top dog and his desires are priority
you are left at home so that you understand that you dont matter anywhere near as much as he does

Knittink · 30/11/2018 16:24

He's an arsehole. Has he always been like this? Arseholes don't generally magically stop being arseholes when they father a child ime.

Nicknacky · 30/11/2018 16:24

If he is going to get drunk, then yes he is an arse.

BewareOfDragons · 30/11/2018 16:25

You picked him ...

Good luck with that. Suspect you'll soon be sat home literally holding the baby while he prances out with his friends to get shit-faced. Because only your life is supposed to change, apparently ...

Seriously. If you don't pull him up on this immediately, you are going to be exhausted and miserable very, very soon while you do everything and he carries on how he likes...

Original poster
Dolly49 · 30/11/2018 16:28

It’s my second actually (first one is 17 lol) but his first
I suppose I’d just like a bit of fuss but I honestly don’t think it’s registered with him yet that we are actually having a baby! 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
CharBart · 30/11/2018 16:28

When I was about 6 months pregnant with my first, DH went out with a friend of his whose wife was also pregnant, further along but not imminently due. DH got in late and awoke with a terrible hangover and a text from his friend whose baby had been born on the bathroom floor during the night.

TeenTimesTwo · 30/11/2018 16:29

You could get hold of him if needed, just phone the pub's landline.

Maybe he's doing his last 'freedom' nights before duty calls as a Dad?

Wordthe · 30/11/2018 16:29

a decent honourable man would be protective of a pregnant partner, he wouldn't go out on a bender, he would be by your side, making sure you're ok.
No one is more important than you right now

I'm sorry but he's a piece of shit

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/11/2018 16:30

Baby could come 2 days early, 3 days early, a month early. Is he not suppose to go out and drink in the month leading up?
Unless it was a particular event then no, not really, I'm not saying that your life of going out with your mates should end when you are having a baby, but I think giving it up a month before the due date isn't that unreasonable tbh.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 30/11/2018 16:31

Wow. He's not thick, he's an utter arsehole. Has he always placed you this low in his priorities?

BroomHandledMouser · 30/11/2018 16:34

‘classic abuser behaviour’

What planet are you on?!? Do you know what an abuser is?

No, I didn’t think so.

OP YANBU at all, he didn’t need to go for a drink. Especially not if he’s been out twice already this week. Wishing you all the best with your new baby ❤️

Disfordarkchocolate · 30/11/2018 16:37

Very selfish. My husband didn't drink for a month beforehand just in case the baby came early. I didn't have to ask.

kateandme · 30/11/2018 16:38

you need to talk to him now hun.not a pleasant convo there might be aggression from both sides.but this needs to be sorted right now because this is going to be shit on an extra person if he thinks he can carry on like this and ur future is just going to be awful if he carries on like this.
because even if you both need to make comprimises because you both see and dothings differently.you need to be on the same level at being listened to and heard.and with a new born he needs to see you need him to be there first and foremost for you guys right now.and that does mean halting certain things.
no a baby doesn't need to stop you from living and having and doing the things you love but for at least those first vunerable and up in the air moments yes it does.becasue you need to all find a new rhythm for three.and that takes time and effort for you all to slot into the new roles and new ways of a family.

dontalltalkatonce · 30/11/2018 16:40

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MiggledyHiggins · 30/11/2018 16:42

DP didn't drink the last month he was so worried that I'd go into labour and he would have to drive me. We lived within walking distance of a hospital, but he was a first-time nervous dad.

So if you do go into labour at 3am, what's the back up plan if he's too hammered to bring you?

brizzledrizzle · 30/11/2018 16:43

I'd be inclined to offer him a DIY sterilisation if it were my DH. What a fool.

loveyoutothemoon · 30/11/2018 16:52

My second one was very quick!

You need to be with someone in case you go into labour, at least to support you when you're in pain.

Can you stay over with someone close, so they could take you, other than that it'll be an ambulance job.

I'd demand he came home before he's drunk too much. You need to put him in his place.

user1495390685 · 30/11/2018 16:54

Wow, some people here seem to be really harsh. I hope you are ok, OP. Your partner either is entirely unprepared for being a father or is avoiding responsibility on purpose. The birth might bring him round. If not, this is not a good omen. Good luck with the birth -- focus on you two for now.

WorraLiberty · 30/11/2018 16:54

Even taking the baby out of the equation, why do you want to be with a man who can't handle alcohol but insists on drinking it?

It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't affect you but it does.

Also 'not meaning to be an arsehole' changes nothing, because he is one.

NotANotMan · 30/11/2018 16:56

This bodes very badly for your future tbh

MissRhubarb · 30/11/2018 17:01

Hi OP. Do you have family close by or a friend that you could put on reserve to drive you to the hospital or you could stay with/could come and stay with you just for tonight?

diddl · 30/11/2018 17:11

I do wonder if there are warning signs with these men or do they completely out of the blue become arseholes when their OHs are pregnant?

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