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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Co-worker lets everyone else use nickname, except me

66 replies

edjnr · 29/11/2018 20:55

A new employee has joined my company on Monday and is sitting next to me. We had a small chat when she arrived but I've been in meetings most of this week so haven't got to know her.

Today is Thursday and I asked her, what do you like to be called? I knew everyone called her by her nickname Roxy but didn't want to presume. She replied to me saying she wants to be called Roxanne. She's introduced herself to everyone else as Roxy! AIBU?

I can't think of anything I've done for her to dislike me.

OP posts:
minisoksmakehardwork · 29/11/2018 20:57

Have you actually heard her say 'hi I'm roxy' to other people? She might have said Roxanne and is secretly pissed off everyone has shortened it to Roxy.

EmbraRocks · 29/11/2018 20:57

I'd just call her Roxanne- and don't make it big thing. If she is (unlikely) trying to alienate you, don't give any power by acting like you don't care! '

TeachesOfPeaches · 29/11/2018 20:58

Colleague

SofiaAmes · 29/11/2018 20:58

Are you sure that she introduced herself to everyone else as Roxy? I hated it when I lived in England that everyone (or at least 95% of people) called me sophie even when I introduced myself as Sofia. I corrected some people over and over and over again because I hate being called Sophie. Maybe your co-worker really prefers to be called Roxanne and isn't as comfortable as I am correcting people. You will stand out if you actually put the effort into calling her what she has asked you to call her.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/11/2018 20:59

Honestly, I wouldn't give it another thought. She's not your friend and all you have to do is have a cordial working relationship. Perhaps she doesn't like you for some unexplainable reason, but who cares? You're there to do your job, so don't get distracted by something that doesn't even matter.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 29/11/2018 21:00

Maybe she's christened Roxy and Roxanne is actually her nickname?

BookshelfCupboard · 29/11/2018 21:45

This exact situation happened to my DD. One colleague in particular kept shortening her name and in the end DD complained to HR and the regulatory body for the sector. In the end the colleague was fired over it and last we heard she is unfortunately now living in a skip with a tarpaulin for a roof. Not sure if permanent. Either way I would advise against making a big deal out of this as you could lose your home.

1busybee · 29/11/2018 21:49

Maybe she thinks you re the most senior member of the team and so feels awkward asking you to use her nickname and feels she has to be more formal?

GloryforGloves · 29/11/2018 21:53

One colleague in particular kept shortening her name and in the end DD complained to HR and the regulatory body for the sector. In the end the colleague was fired over it and last we heard she is unfortunately now living in a skip with a tarpaulin for a roof. Not sure if permanent.

What?!? Confused

loubluee · 29/11/2018 22:01

^ this Hmm

festivedramallama · 29/11/2018 22:04

Bookshelfcupboard wtfConfused

Holidayshopping · 29/11/2018 22:04

This exact situation happened to my DD. One colleague in particular kept shortening her name and in the end DD complained to HR and the regulatory body for the sector. In the end the colleague was fired over it and last we heard she is unfortunately now living in a skip with a tarpaulin for a roof. Not sure if permanent. Either way I would advise against making a big deal out of this as you could lose your home.

Grin
starzig · 29/11/2018 22:15

Actually the shortening of my name is offensive to me so depends what the name is to whether you take it further when someone refuses to stop.

PerpendicularVincent · 29/11/2018 22:22

BookshelfCupboard I have to know more!

Blueblueyellow · 29/11/2018 22:23

BookshelfCupboard Grin
Op, I have a double baralled first name, people always always shorten it, I tell them my name and straight away it's shortened, does my head in. So when someone actually calls me by my name, the one I told them, It makes me feels great like they actually care a bit.

redcarbluecar · 29/11/2018 22:26

Call her by the name she’s asked you to call her and think no more of it. It’s very early days.

KatieKittens · 29/11/2018 22:28

You could be reading far too much into this. Who knows what’s going on in Roxy’s head.

I have a nickname, however I have always preferred to be called my full name.

Once it has gotten out in a work place ( having a friend, or a friend of a friend who works there, or someone asking me directly if I have a nickname) I end up having to answer to and also to introduce myself by that name (as people already know it).

I have always introduced myself by my full name in the first instance, it’s my preferred name, I also answer to another though!

naicepineapple · 29/11/2018 22:32

I think you're over thinking it. Are you usually very sensitive?

BunsOfAnarchy · 29/11/2018 22:33

She doesnt like you.

Bookshelf LOL!!

Redyoyo · 29/11/2018 22:34

I have a long name that can be shortened, pretty much everyone but my dad calls me by shortened version, however i would never call myself that. If someone asked what i liked to be called it would be my proper name.

Claw001 · 29/11/2018 22:38

😂

Bringbackbertha · 29/11/2018 22:38

you are over thinking

I randomly go between introducing or signing emails between suzanne or just suzy only get pissed when people call me sue. Doesn't mean anything and I'm not bothered as long as it's not bloody sue

(Name is changed for the purpose of this post but you get the idea)

toriatoriatoria · 29/11/2018 22:40

Have you actually heard her introduce herself to others as Roxy? Or maybe she's introduced herself as Roxanne and they've automatically shorterned it?

My name had an standard shorterning... Which I don't like. I always introduce myself with my proper name and still people additionally shortness it (even seconds after I've just said my name). So maybe people have just automatically shorterned it and you're the only one who has picked up on her wanting to use her full name?

Ilovelblue · 29/11/2018 22:57

My name is quite easily shortened but I always introduce myself by my full name. I hate it when somebody at work comes to see me or rings me up and asks for me by my shortened name and they have never met me before. When I get phone calls now and they ask for the shortened version of my name, I automatically say "This is [full name]". I don't really mind if they shorten it, so long as they ask first but I do feel it's extremely presumptuous to shorten it without even asking me which I prefer. I would never be introduced to somebody called Philip, for instance, and start calling him Phil without his say so.

Rant over!

Fluffyears · 29/11/2018 23:01

My name is shortened atbwork and I don’t care who uses the full or shortened. We had a guy who couldn’t accept that a girl with a double first name like Sarah-Jane didn’t like it shortened he kept calling her sarah. She kept telling him my name is Sarah-Jane not sarah, not Jane SARAH-JANE!

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