Co-worker lets everyone else use nickname, except me

[edjnr]

A new employee has joined my company on Monday and is sitting next to me. We had a small chat when she arrived but I've been in meetings most of this week so haven't got to know her.

Today is Thursday and I asked her, what do you like to be called? I knew everyone called her by her nickname Roxy but didn't want to presume. She replied to me saying she wants to be called Roxanne. She's introduced herself to everyone else as Roxy! AIBU?

I can't think of anything I've done for her to dislike me.

Don't knock the skipliving until you've tried it BOO

Give l'ilboo my regards

My name is constantly shortened and I don’t get upset about it, but it’s not my preference. So if you ask me my name or preference, you’ll get my proper name. It doesn’t mean I am going to correct others because honestly, I’m not that bothered (it’s not an unusual shortening - would prob feel different if I was e.g. an Elizabeth / Beth and people suddenly took to calling me Libby).

Actually when I last moved job I mused to DH about how long I’d last with my full name intact

You are over-thinking this OP, don't make assumptions other than what she's told you.

I would be reeeeaaally annoying and play stings “ROXAAAANNE” every time she walks in 🤣🤣🤣

People always shorten my name even though I introduce myself as my full name. Also, nobody pronounces my name correctly, ever.

PMSL BookshelfCupboard!

Yes, OP. Think carefully about if you REALLY want a tarpaulin for a roof.

I've got a friend with a name like this. Everyone automatically shortens it but she told me specifically that her name is the longer version. Therefore, I would just check that that isn't what's gone on here, before getting upset about it.

Maybe you are the only one she likes enough to use her full name!

This exact situation happened to my DD. One colleague in particular kept shortening her name and in the end DD complained to HR and the regulatory body for the sector. In the end the colleague was fired over it and last we heard she is unfortunately now living in a skip with a tarpaulin for a roof. Not sure if permanent. Either way I would advise against making a big deal out of this as you could lose your home

I think I might be in love with you 😍

BookshelfCupboard

This exact situation happened to my DD. One colleague in particular kept shortening her name and in the end DD complained to HR and the regulatory body for the sector. In the end the colleague was fired over it and last we heard she is unfortunately now living in a skip with a tarpaulin for a roof. Not sure if permanent. Either way I would advise against making a big deal out of this as you could lose your home.

----
Going to HR over a name!
omfg I've heard it all now.
Work places can be so ridiculous and toxic.
She needs to get a life.
I hope the least they could do after hearing about the skip situation is check on her (skip companies do usually collect all their skips).
They could have a whip round and buy a more suitable tent.

Either way I would advise against making a big deal out of this as you could lose your home.

🤣🤣🤣

I have about a gazillion nicknames and there are very few people in my life who actually call me by my full. given first name. My mum does and my sister used to but now she calls me something else entirely - based on how my eldest niece pronounced the odd nickname that my stepfather called me by. Someone on my teacher training course used to call me my proper name but I think he just did it to wind me up. I think I have 8 'official' nicknames in circulation at the moment :grin:

She don’t have to put on the red light (or live in a skip)

Actually she probably likes you as you’ve bothered to ask what she prefers to be called and not just made assumptions.

Those days are over, she don’t have to sell her body to the night, now that she has a nice new job with you!

Maybe the fact that it's your company and you're the boss makes her feel as if she should be a bit more 'proper' with you?

I'm just really grateful if anyone notices me at all. If anyone asks what i want to be called i say "thank you for asking, please - whatever causes you the least effort, you choose".

You're probably the only person polite enough to have asked her what she actually prefers. I wouldn't worry at all about her not liking you - on the contrary, she probably really rates you!

I'm just really grateful if anyone notices me at all. If anyone asks what i want to be called i say "thank you for asking, please - whatever causes you the least effort, you choose"

Oh dear. Does anyone ever choose a name that's not actually your name? Like Dave, or Philomena?

People I am acquaintances with always shorten my name. My actual friends use my full name because they know I prefer it.

Don’t think too much about it OP. Personally, I alway address someone by their full name at work unless I am specifically invited to use another name. I send dozens of emails a day and would still use the longer version even if they have the nickname in the email.

I’m with previous posters, my name is hyphenated and people automatically remove half of it, I’ve even got to the stage of removing the hyphen so it’s written as one word and people still do it? Without the hyphen it’s a different spelling of another name (think Steph-Annie /Stephanie then people calling you Steph) I actually loath the first part of my name and find it so rude people presume to cut my name in half.

Everyone does it and I have to make quite a point, it’s surprising how many people think I’m making a big deal of it but it’s not my bloody name 😡

I wonder if she’s hoping you’re the sensible co-worker who might actually call her what she prefers, unless you’ve heard her say to people to call her the shorter version?

I wouldn’t be able to stop myself humming the song and fantasising about putting a red light over her desk.

If you knew and heard she had been introducing herself as Roxy, why did you even ask?

My name is shortened. Colleagues always use my shortened name as standard. That’s fine in general. If I dislike someone I correct them and tell them, “actually it’s xxxx” and keep correcting them if they make a point of it. If they push it even further and comment that everyone else calls me yyyy, I just say “okay, but i’d like you to call me xxx” and just repeat the line verbatim as necessary if they persist in talking about it. It’s my right to dictate what I would like to be called. It’s also a very simple and effective way of making sure everyone knows where they stand .