AIBU to refuse to sort DH family gifts at the last minute?

[MrsMiggel]

DH won’t let me buy gifts for his family because he doesn’t like my chosen gifts and wants to choose himself. Except he never gets round to actually buying anything. I remind him repeatedly, then a day or two beforehand he panics because he has no time left to order anything, and he asks me to drive miles to certain shops looking for gifts (which often aren’t what the person actually wants, it’s just a scrabble to get them something, anything).

This year I have baby DC and told him I will not be going out seeking gifts at the last minute. In October I sent him a list of gifts I’d chosen for his family and said I can order those or something else if he prefers, and if the gifts weren’t ordered by the end of October I was washing my hands of his family and he’d have to sort it himself. He said ok order those gifts.

Fast forward to BIL’s birthday tomorrow. DH is annoyed with me because apparently I rushed him into buying BIL’s gift and he doesn’t even remember what was bought. And he’s annoyed because the gift hasn’t been wrapped and given to BIL, even though he’s had ample opportunity because it’s been sitting there for a month.

DH has gone away on a business trip and won’t be back till next week. He’s known about this trip for months. This afternoon he called and asked me to wrap BIL’s gift, put the baby in the car and make a 1.5hr round trip to BIL’s house in the dark tonight to deliver the gift. I said no. He said ok then make a 40 minute round trip to MIL’s house tonight and she’ll take the gift to him tomorrow. I said no. Can MIL not make a 20 minute detour to our house to pick up the gift on her way to BIL’s house tomorrow morning? DH said no, MIL doesn’t want to be inconvenienced by a detour tomorrow. But it’s ok for me and the baby to be even more greatly inconvenienced tonight, in the dark? BIL is an adult, I’m sure he’ll be ok with receiving his gift late, when DH gets round to delivering it.

DH is mad and isn’t speaking to me because apparently I’m selfish and ruining BIL’s birthday. He’s so angry that I’m actually wondering if AIBU to have refused to deliver the gift?

It's his side of the family. His responsibility, not yours. He's a CF of the first order.

YABU to be with such a twat if that helps.
Tell him to grow the fuck up and stop being his mummy, he's a grown man.

So what if he doesn't see why you can't do all that? Is he your boss? Do you have to explain yourself to him? Fuck that. Tell him that other men manage to do their own cards and presents with zero handholding from their wives so you don't see why he can't.

My DH does all of his own. His penis and manly demeanour do not stop him from being quite successful at it.

He’s a twat.

I'd be tempted to go out tomorrow and just leave him with baby.
Come back at the same time he comes home from work.
Your allowed to do this as you have a baby. Let him worry about you a bit.
You deserve better than this, and your son shouldn't have to grow up with such an arsehole as a father.

I think "other people's wives do all the housework with a baby" the adult equivalent of "Billy's parents let him stay out till midnight!" Yeah, sure they fucking do.

He's got you on one long guilt trip, guilt for not doing the chores, guilt for not sorting his lack of doing a gift, you even say you doubt his family will just think it's him to blame...and you apologise to BIL! I was going to say tell him to shove the present up his arse but that's before I read the update about being an arse and never looking after his own child.

Not on. Red flag really. How dare he call you selfish when he's swanned off and you have to do it all! While he's gone I would be evaluating what the fuck he actually does do because I promise you OP, there are men out there who don't have illusions of grandeur and treat you like shit because they work dontcha know, and you're just on a maternity jolly.

Your husband sounds very childish and spoilt. Don't enable him.

Don't have anything to do with his family's gifts anymore. It is not your problem.

If he wants a gift wrapping and delivery service he should order all of his gifts on Amazon like my husband.

Firstly, why the hell would you go to so much effort to remind your dh to not be a dick about his families bdays? Back off! Sort your own family. Do not remind him, suggest gifts, wrap, deliver or in any way deal with it for him. Some infantilising him.

However, after reading the updates, just throw him out. He is a grade A dickhead.

So the present giving is just one of many things that makes him a complete asshole.
I would get out of this relationship. You'll have a much happier life without him.

Your DH sounds utterly revolting. I think I would hand the baby to him on his return from work Friday evening and go visit friends for the weekend.

He’s sounds like an arse .
I’d shove BIL’s present right up your DH’s wazoo...

Tell him to get to fuck, the total wanker.

Misogynistic , sexist bully. Sounds like my emotionally abusive ex.

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