To want the key back?

[lizzlebizzle33]

PIL have a key to our house, it was left with them when they babysat the DCs about a year ago.

Trouble is they decided it was a good idea to hang on to it in case they needed it again, to drop the DCs off or in case we lose ours.

Initially I was fine with that and agreed, but now they just turn up to our house unannounced and let themselves in, no knocking or anything.

To make it worse, DMIL also likes to just look through the window first before she even gets to the front door. It's really driving me bonkers.

AIBU to be so bothered by this? It just seems so rude. DP had a key to their house but it was his home for 25 years so I guess letting himself in isn't quite the same, they have never lived in my house but think it's fine to just unlock the door and come in.

DP had taken ds1 out for a walk one day and I was BF ds2 and trying to get him to sleep upstairs in our bedroom, and DMIL just turned up and waltzed in the door, then came upstairs!!! I find it so bizarre that they think this is fine but I really don't know how to bring it up, or get the key back.

Change the locks

Change the locks, you've no guarantee they won't have made a copy if you ask for it back.

Oh, and talk to your DP, maybe he can talk to them about respecting your privacy and not letting themselves in.

Leave a key in the inside. Every time.

Fit a chain or change the locks - if it's a barrel lock can go to DIY store and get another to replace with and new keys.

Though if you leave key in lock when you are in the house that also stops lock working.

Oh that’s really unacceptable. I have a key to my DP’s house but I still knock if they’re in. Would only use it when watering plants etc while on hols. Change your locks and don’t give them another key.

Don't leave you key in on the inside it could invalidate your insurance.

Change the locks.

Don't leave you key in on the inside it could invalidate your insurance.

Not quite sure how that advice squares with being able to get out in an emergency of there's a fire ....

Can it invalidate insurance?? I ask because I always do but I don’t have a letterbox in either front or back door door, is that why it would??

Definitely get DH to speak to them. Tell DH that your children could have easily have been napping and you two could have been in bed together- hopefully that will get his attention.

Like previous posters have said if they are happy to invade your privacy like this then they make make a copy of the key.

Say you need it back because the neighbours are going to look after x / someone's coming to work on something while you're out. When they ask for it back you'll have to find a way to sweetly say that you'd prefer they knock. Or conveniently 'lose' the key.

Change the lock, say there have been reports of local burglaries and you lost your own key, say this is what the police advise.

If it's a uPVC Euro lock, I'd look online and order a new barrel and keys (c. £15 IIRC) and spend a couple of minutes changing the barrel. No need to tell anyone.

It can be a useful bear trap, if the PIL suddenly say to you one day that "your lock must be jammed, as we couldn't open the door" (if they are that dim).

Maybe my PIL were a bit different ?

How would insurance be affected? Op would be in the house during the day - presumably ils don't walk on during the night!

My parents have keys to our house, which is largely very useful, but they do on occasion let themselves in when not expected, which is ok for my but DH hates it. Now he just leaves his key in the lock when he's home and just pull it out slightly if I'm out and need to get back in.

Jesus! Change the locks

What does DP say? I would just change the locks. What if you come back from a day out and they're at home on your sofa? The alternative depending on how they're likely to take it is just to have DP have a word and let them know you'd both prefer that they knock when they come round.

Next time they barge in without knocking, do a theatrically loud scream, (ideally right behind them and very close up) as you were so shocked at them being there, scare them witless. They might not do it again.

Well I have a key for my mum's house but wouldn't dream of letting myself in. I always ring the doorbell and wait.

The sensible answer is to tell them to stop and ask for the key back. Tell them its inappropriate to walk in and they certainly wouldn't appreciate the same happening to them.

The polite way out cowardly is to change the locks under some false pretences and not give them a key.

Get your locks changed to these ABS ones recommended by the police.

www.abs-secure.co.uk/

The best thing? They cannot be copied unless you have the associated plastic card that has an ID number on it. Meaning you can guarantee that even if you lent it out and ask for it back they cannot have made a copy.

But for now wait for her to actually walk in your house again and ask for the key back there and then. If you are feeling brave you can tell her why exactly. But do change the locks anyway.

I have a key to my parent's house. However, even though it was my home too, I would never turn up without ringing first. My Dad has difficulty getting around so I do let myself in but I ring the doorbell, open the door and ask if it's ok to come in - it's just plain common courtesy to respect boundaries.

Definitely change the locks but make sure DH is onboard and doesn't give them the new key.

Def just change the locks or pretend you’ve lost yours and ask for theirs back

Oh that would drive me mad. Just change the lock.

I have a keys to both my DD's houses but I don't carry them with me as I would only use them in extenuating circumstances.

Wouldn't dream of just walking into their homes unannounced.

I think it is fine for an adult to still have the key to his/her childhood home. It’s completely different for parents/PIL to let themselves into their child/SIL/DIL’s house without permission. I would also change the locks and not give them another key. Can you get blinds for your window to stop your MIL looking in so you can ignore her knock if she comes again?

I am certain that once they realised we had changed the locks they would ask for a key.
MIL has already commented that she doesn't have a key that it's on FILs keys and she needs one too!!

Batshit