To want the key back?

[lizzlebizzle33]

PIL have a key to our house, it was left with them when they babysat the DCs about a year ago.

Trouble is they decided it was a good idea to hang on to it in case they needed it again, to drop the DCs off or in case we lose ours.

Initially I was fine with that and agreed, but now they just turn up to our house unannounced and let themselves in, no knocking or anything.

To make it worse, DMIL also likes to just look through the window first before she even gets to the front door. It's really driving me bonkers.

AIBU to be so bothered by this? It just seems so rude. DP had a key to their house but it was his home for 25 years so I guess letting himself in isn't quite the same, they have never lived in my house but think it's fine to just unlock the door and come in.

DP had taken ds1 out for a walk one day and I was BF ds2 and trying to get him to sleep upstairs in our bedroom, and DMIL just turned up and waltzed in the door, then came upstairs!!! I find it so bizarre that they think this is fine but I really don't know how to bring it up, or get the key back.

My last two houses have been newbuilfs and have thumbturn locks as a safety. In a fire no issue looking for the ‘bastard keys’. Our insurers have never had any issues.

My mother had my spare key when I moved into my first rental house (years and years ago, I was 20). She lived close so made sense in case of emergencies.

I got back from work one day during the very first week I'd moved to find EVERYTHING re-arranged. Everything. Furniture had been movef, my kitchen draws re-arrangrd, my bedroom draw contents had been 'organised' (mortifying). All my stuff, arranged to how she thought they 'should' be.

Mother had left a note saying she'd 'had a tidy'.

I was furious. I told her to post the key through my letterbox immediately and it took me a couple of weeks to calm down.

She didn't even get it until I asked her if she would dare re-arrange her client's possessions (she was a contract cleaner) and why should I be treated with less respect and privacy than a client.

You deserve your privacy, well-intentioned parents and MIL/FIL aside, maybe I was hot-headed in my situation but could your DH explain (it's his parents, he should brunt this) that it's not they're unwanted, but just popping in unannounced could be embarrassing?

Oh God, imaging the peering in from MIL from a window, I feel for you! Good luck.

You are going to have to have the conversation.Otherwise you are just constantly changing locks.

Who cares if Mil gets offended,shes not worried about offending you.