To ask how the eff people keep their homes and kids immaculate!?

[ThisCharmingmamm]

I'm a SAHM to a 4 yo and a 7mo. I could clean all day and it would still look like a bomb has gone off.

I could get the kids changed 400 times a day, bath them 3 times and they'd still be grubby and bedraggled!

Don't even get me started on myself. I resemble something that looks like a cross between miss trunchbull and mrs doubtfire.

When we go out to baby groups or soft play so many of the mums have a full face of make up, they look stunning, with a put together outfit and their kids squeaky clean and even on trend themselves. I can just bet their home is the same.

I am ashamed of myself for not being able to keep up with the Joneses I have to say

money
grandparents on tap
cleaner

I’ve got one 15 month old and work 3 days a week, as does DH, so one of us home most days.

The house is a pigsty, the baby is permanently grubby and I’m doing well if my socks match. I think you sound normal!

I've got a 21 year old, a 20 year old and an 18 year old. We frequently look bedraggled and the house could do with a good tidy.

If you're trying to keep up with the Joneses, do it based on how happy they are, not how clean they are.

A hoover and lots of rules about what you couldn't do. Fear helps too. Worked a treat for my mum....

I don't know anyone with an immaculate house. They're all varying states of chaos that they spend the few free hours outside of work trying to get to a sort of acceptable standard. My house currently resembles a laundrette becasue dp and I have been working the past 8 days and haven't had time to sort it. Subsequently my ds has gone to nursery a few days this week looking a bit crumpled becasue no ironing has been done.

I do wear makeup but the rest of me is a bit rough round the edges. Same as everyone else I know.

Being a parent is hard.

I have 4 under 7, according to my sister my house should be spotless and i never know who’s going to turn up

I currently look like a tramp. My house is a complete mess, however my small monster was perfectly dressed (a bit bedraggled though as she is a monster and likes to crawl through hedges backwards by the looks of her). I class my journey to swimming this morning as a good job and have rewarded myself with a cofffee!

I think you notice the really tidy mums, but there’s also quite a few who look a bit tatty (like me).

One of my mum friends always looks immaculate, perfect hair, immaculate make up etc. But she has hands on family who babysit whilst she goes to the hairdressers and her baby naps for 2 hrs a day in the cot. I have a Velcro baby that I often get stuck under during naps! It’s not a fair comparison.

I used to wear makeup most days but since having the LO I have better things to do with my time than put make up and take it off every day. It’s quite refreshing not feeling I have to put a “face” on.

It has also a lot to do with the personalities of your DH. It's often mentioned in our family how immaculate the house and lifestyle were when only my DSis was around. She was the sort of child who when told to look with your eyes would do so and not touch. Whereas I was the sort of child who would have taken 'it' apart before they had s chance to tell me not to touch.

I am still dishevelled but loads clever

And v happy.

DH ?

obviously meant personality of DC

My house and I are never immaculate, i find it useful to look at the mess and remember what fun thing we were doing together instead of sorting the mess out.

It's not so bad now they're older. Please don't waste the early years, when they actually want to spend time with you, cleaning and tidying obsessively. Just do what needs to be done.

My house is immaculate, my two young girls (3 and 6m) are always well turned out and I don't leave the house without make-up and washed hair. I'm on maternity leave but otherwise work full-time, as does my husband, and we don't have a cleaner. No family nearby to help. I tidy and clean as I go so it never needs much dedicated time. We have a lot of clever storage solutions. My mind never rests thinking of how to fit everything in to each day and I can get a bit stressed. I never leave a room without tidying it (except playroom which is only done at end of day). We rush everywhere and sleep about 6.5 hours to fit it all in. But I love my organised pristine life. If I let things go I'd get even more stressed and my mind would feel jumbled! We're getting a cleaner when I return to work though!

I think it depends on the babies you get, mine sits happily for an hour every morning either in her swinging chair or bumbo and watches me get ready and do house work, so I've got time to do make up and get the house clean.

If I had a clingy baby who needed more attention in the morning then that wouldn't happen. Maybe the mums you see looking put together just have easier babies, it's the luck of the draw and not always to do with good parenting or being organised.

As long as you're all fed and happy then you're doing a good job!

It depends on the children and the parents tbh.

Some children are naturally tidy and so are some adults. Others aren’t.

If your child is a good sleeper it’s probably easier than if not.

Some people manage it by having help some by cutting down on sleep.

When I was a SAHP and the kids were small the house was pretty tidy because I was in full control.

Now that I work full time and the kids are older it’s considerably less tidy.

If you came for a planned visit it would look immaculate though. Even though it’s not really

Don’t stress yourself, you do what you can do.

How were you before having children OP? because if you were never the make up daily, on trend, spotless house type it's not going to happen without even more effort and money after children......

I spend a lot of time cleaning, everyday and have strict rules about where food is consumed. I regularly declutter and love online shopping.

Get a cleaner! Put stuff in storage or declutter.
Find a make up routine with products that work and stick to them. Multi task, face mask on, hair mask on while you online shop or polish mirrors. Grab as much childcare as possible. clothes ready the night before, no messy food if going out, do laundry every single day ..i could go on

Thank god its not just me!
My mother in law is always passing comment about me having dishes in the sink or the house not being "perfect" but myself and my DH both work full time its hard to fit everything in, with her after school clubs etc.

Our house is clean, but its no show home.

oh and everyone does a tidy up when they know someone is coming around so its easy to assume this is how their house always is..very few have a clean house all rooms all drawers 24/7

Houses are not meant to be immaculate, they are for living in. I always try to keep one room tidy and if anyone drops by that is the room I bring them into. I am not fashionable or well groomed and I couldn't give a fuck. Like my house I am clean and comfortable, that's all I need.

I tidy and clean as I go

That's what I do too. Takes just a minute or two to tidy things away once they've been used. I also have very structured and well organised days. If you don't let things get out of control in the first place, you don't have to spend hours tidying/cleaning in big chunks.

We have a full time cleaner but it's the done thing around here (not uk).

It depends on your priorities too. I hate a messy house, it puts me on edge so I put that ahead of my beauty regime & sacrifice a bit of my chill out time to keep things in order. I tidy as I go & the house is quite minimalist with tons of storage which helps. Some of my mum friends are the complete opposite and their houses are a tip, they're happy though, so are their children & I always feel comfortable & welcome at theirs and wouldn't judge them for one second! So don't be hard on yourself. I bet you other mum's will be looking at something you do thinking...how does she do it!

Get a puppy - you soon learn that anything left around on surfaces/the floor/the sofa will get chewed or eaten, or buried in the depths of a pile of blankets never to be seen again!

We simply have no choice but to keep things tidy and surfaces clear. We have a young beagle who gets his nose into everything otherwise!

I sometimes wonder this, then I think well maybe they just get up and shower or clean when the kids are playing instead of sitting on MN for an hour debating what the best kind of cheese is or something.

Ime it comes from putting the fear of God into children if they dare remove a hair clip, go near anything messy or spill any food.
I’ve yet to meet anyone with immaculate children and an immaculate house who is a pleasant person to be around.
Reasonably tidy is a good balance I think.
I’m sure there will be people on here to say that their kids just hate getting messy but that is always picked up from parents ime. Kids naturally want to play and explore different textures.

I don't trust people with immaculate houses. It's like they're trying to hide evidence. Who have they murdered and where is the body?