to be cross with DP's brother for upsetting his mother?

[Caroline1852]

We have just discovered that my DP's brother has become engaged to his live in Russian girlfriend. We found out as DP's mother bumped into someone who congratulated her about the engagement which was news to her. DP's mother phoned us last night, to tell us. She is 82 and probably very upset about being kept in the dark. They are a very close family and I just don't understand what DP's bro is playing at telling others but not telling his family. He just spent a whole day and a half with his mother and didn't mention it at all.

Maybe they are not telling yet and she broke the silence. You don't know that it was him that told.

Bandofmothers - perhaps you are right. It seems a bit odd that he is not sharing his news with his family though, but perhaps they are going to make a big announcement.

Does it matter that she is Russian? Why not just say girlfriend?

Have you told your BIL that his mother now knows? What was his reaction? It's up to your mil to express her dismay with her son if that is the way she feels.

I agree that they could be planning a big announcement.

yes, maybe they were going to have a party and announce it to the family then?
Or perhaps he's going to ask her father for her hand in marriage first?

Have not said anything to him or her, nor has anyone else. We are all just pretending we don't know which is rather embarassing and very upsetting for his mother. Imagine if your son or daughter did the same thing? DP and I don't really care (we just think it's a bit odd) but we are upset for his mother. She is 82.

Ekra - I mentioned the Russian in case there was some cultural reason why an announcement could not be made at this time. Although it has been announced to some friends just not to family.

Compo - her parents no longer alive.

Give him the benefit of the doubt. If no announcement is made in the next couple of weeks then perhaps have a word with him.

Apparently they got engaged over 3 weeks ago.