To feel a little bit ashamed to be a 2x divorcee

[Rosskidsmum]

It’s not something I thought about until I met my current partner and after 4 years he still isn’t aware I have been married twice before, I was separated when we met and divorced during the time we have been together, but people’s opinions on divorce led me to hide my first failed marriage.
I was married at 23 and divorced by 26, I had been with him since I was 16 and instead of walking away after we were no longer in love we got married. I met my second husband litterally after I was divorced and fell pregnant within 3 months, me being pregnant and I think because I had been married before prompted him to ask me to marry him, I never really thought about it and sort of just went along with it, we had 2 children and it was a very turbulent marriage that lasted 6 years before divorced him. I then spent 2 well deserved years on my own with my sons and it was great.
I’m now 37 have been in a relationship with a fantastic man for 4 years we have a daughter but I can’t bring myself to tell him I have been married twice not once before I know he’ll be a bit disappointed as he takes marriage very seriously.
Am I wrong from hiding my past from people? Or will people just judge

OP, you have to tell him. He has the right to know. I'm quite surprised that some people on here are turning this around to make out that he's the one who's done something wrong.

I was separated when we met and divorced during the time we have been together, but people’s opinions on divorce led me to hide my first failed marriage.

Sorry but that is completely decietful. You were still married whilst you were in a relationship with yoour current and got divorced whilst you are together, and you haven't told him?

That is wrong in so many levels. He also will find out if your marry as the date will be on your absolute.

I wouldn't have entered a relationship either with a person who has been twice divorced so two sets of vows broken. It would indicate they didn't take marriage seriously.

And what if it was the other party who had broken their vows/didn't take the marriage seriously?

Third time's the charm

DH didn't realise remember that I'd been married twice before until we were sat making the booking at the register office I'd never deliberately not told him, I had mentioned it a few times during our 8 years together, he just has a memory like a sieve!

Better to be divorced 5 times than remain in unhappy marriage. it is a bot odd you have not mentioned it to your dp before but if he does not discuss past relationships why should you. If you are happy now it is a non-issue and just put it behind you nad ignore it. You have not lied to him just chosen not to disclose about past relationships which is what he has chosen to do with you. Concentrate on the future and be happy. If he ever finds out just say you did not mention it because you do not think about it and he never discusses his past relationhips with you.

You don't tell him. It's too late now and you don't want to make it your third.

I can understand you not wanting to tell him because I would certainly think twice about seeing someone that was divorced once never mind twice. But your 2 divorces are not going to go away and you need to tell him the truth before someone else mentions it.

I think if no one's mentioned it by now to him they are unlikely to - I'd leave it personally. And it totally doesn't matter about being divorced twice

It's nothing OP, my DP's step mum is on her sixth marriage and that raised a few eyebrows. I know a few who have been divorced twice.

2 failed marriages is not a great track record. If my partner told me, the first thought is whether they failed because my partner cheated. If not, then I assume they are unlucky or not a particularly good judge of character.

If no children are involved, then I think fair dos to cut losses but less so if dcs were involved.