Is it okay to touch peoples pregnancy bump?

[Baconbaconbacon]

So I have no bump to speak of so far (well I do if you count bloatyness and fat!). A good friend of mine keeps saying how she's so excited to 'feel bump' etc and asking if I have one yet (we work together and wear very baggy uniform so not easy to see). At the weekend I saw my SIL who I don't see very often and she ran forward and started touching my stomach? I said baby is tiny and there is nothing to feel yet and she just laughed!

I mentioned all this to my sister and she said ah it's acceptable when you're pregnant everyone does it!

Aibu? I think I'm quite self conscious anyway so fully ready to be told to suck it up and it's just another joy of pregnancy!

It's totally unacceptable in my book. I'd never dream of doing to and if anybody had done it to me I'd have been exceedingly pissed off with them.

It's never ok to touch people without their consent but you will find this happens a lot. Be firm and say something like "I'd prefer if you didn't touch my bump, thank you". Or just start touching their tummy too.

No, it’s not ok.

Unless you personally don’t mind.

But you do mind so it’s not ok.

Practice putting your hands out while taking a step back and saying “please don’t I don’t like it”

Only with permission. I cringe at the memory of being all over my friends bump when we were in our twenties and she was the first to get pg!

No!

And, to be fair, no one ever touched mine without asking (except DH and older kids and that was fine) and I find it weird that people have encountered this.

I hated it when people did this. Luckily most people asked. It's still my body, it doesn't suddenly become public property as soon as there's a baby in there. I have no desire to feel other people's bumps either.

This was the worst thing about being pregnant I absolutely hated it.

I can’t think of anything worse than wanting to touch someone’s fat pregnant belly.
No one ever did it to me ( 4 dc ) so who are these weird people that do it?

Most people asked tbh but if they hadn't id have probably been a bit

Not ok. People are weird.

Your body does not become public property because you are pregnant. No-one should be touching you against your will and without your permission. Tell SIL to knock it off in no uncertain terms.

Nope. I would hate it and would never do it to someone else.

If it wasn’t ok or normal before you were pregnant it’s not ok now. You might have to share your body with a foetus but you don’t have to share it with anyone else. The bump-touchers are mostly stroking your bowels anyway. The baby is much further down.

I don't mind when it's close friends or family, but it depends entirely on your dynamic and what you're comfortable with. Definitely say if you aren't happy with it.

Not acceptable but then again it never happened to me. Is it a really common thing?

No no no. I radiate resting bitch face so very few people asked. MiL tried it a couple of times, talking to the bump with a silly voice too, and in the end I had to tell her "actually I really don't like that," which fortunately she respected. Feel free to say no!

Nobody ever did that to me. Practice your bitchy resting face.

I didn't think I'd mind but I do a bit.
If it's someone I know well and I don't mind really I rub theirs back just to make the point. If I don't then I've perfected a intervening hand grab - it usually happens when people first see you so I turn it into a greeting... and I've said before 'oh he's very cosy in there, let's leave him be' a couple of times.
DHs grandmother does it a lot and I just grit my teeth and bear it, she'd be really upset if I asked her not to and would worry she'd upset me. She's nearly 90... other than that only DH touches without asking :)
My mum has asked to feel him kick but it's so sporadic and I don't really want her just sitting there with her hands on my tummy!

People always asked me but it’s never ok to touch someone without permission (unless you’re doing CPR or something). Also if you’re early on the baby’s not behind your belly button but nearer your pubic bone, so they’re not even touching it.

I thought I might say to any unsolicited belly-fondlers “wow, ok. People normally take me for dinner before they start rubbing bits of my reproductive system.”

(I'm glad I have a BRF because I'm absolute chicken shit when it comes to telling people I don't like something...)

I'm not bothered about close friends touching it, but then I don't mind them touching me and most of my friends would ask first.

However strangers makes me fucking rageous. I was out for dinner recently and pushed back my chair to let the waitress reach the dishes on the table more easily and she fucking patted my bump on the way past.

Generally speaking, it just is not ok.

However, personally, if I hug someone hello, then I'm also happy for them to touch the bump.

I'm literally about to pop and I love it when people show an interest in my bump, even strangers! I'm yet to come across anyone that hasn't asked before going for a stroke though so maybe that's the difference?

I am more bothered by the "WOW you're sooooo BIG!" comments 🙈

I didn't mind if people asked. I have one friend who right from the start would touch it without asking and just laugh when I said there was nothing where she was patting except my intestines. That kind of thing really annoyed me.

No, no-one should touch you without permission, however when I was pregnant many years ago it was the norm, at least with close friends and family and some colleagues that you got on well with. Times have changed, I wouldn't touch anyone (unless a medical emergency), without them saying it was OK to do so.