MIL and advent calendar

[Sailinghappy]

So this is such a daft situation but it’s really, really annoyed me!! Am I being unreasonable in feeling so annoyed (I’m very heavily pregnant and can’t tell anymore ha!) and also what would you do now?

For context, MIL is generally very lovely and helpful with my dc, her first grandchild. She does get over excited and step over the boundaries sometimes and I tend to just deep breathe and let it go as she doesn’t seem to mean any harm by it. She does genuinely love our little one and means the best in her own way.

Anyway, I’m quite crafty and enjoy making things with/ for dc. I’ve just spent hours and hours over the last few weeks making a proper advent calendar - so proud of it!! 24 little homemade boxes full of special surprises and all dcs favourite things. I can’t wait to open them each day with dc. I’m trying to make everything extra special at the moment and savour these last few activities before new baby is here.

So MIL has just bought dc a chocolate advent calendar and wants to open it with dc each day that she sees them, has said
we can do it on the other days (she only sees dc one day each week). I feel like she’s tredding on my toes but I know that’s silly really - I’m just so annoyed by it! Why can’t she do something else?! She knows what I’ve made for dc. Would you say anything? I haven’t done yet and trying to bite my tongue. Would you open both calendars?!

@Sailinghappy don’t let this wind you up.

I go ALL OUT for advent and it’s super special to me. Wooden calendar, special gifts, sometimes twists like clues or hiding presents. I mean ALL OUT and it’s madsively sentimental to me. I prefer advent to Christmas tbh

If DD’s grandparent bought her a choc one (which they have done before) I’d just let her put it in her room. Trust me they know which is the one with the effort and yours will be the special one.

Try as I might I genuinely can't see the issue here at all.

If it bothers you so why not open the two calendars at different times of the day? Have yours in the morning and the chocolate one at teatime or something?

Never ceases to amaze me how possessive some women are over their children. They have to be the ones to do everything and god help anyone else (the mil usually) who dares to love the children and wants to do things for and with them as well...

Seriously your DD will likely love both calendars, but please don’t think of this as this wonderful activity you and her are going to do together, because it likely won’t be anything of the sort to her. Sorry.

My dc is now a teenager and doesn’t want an advent calendar anyway, but back in the day I couldn’t have cared less if he’d had more than one. In fact there was the year when I forgot and my mum had bought one so the truth was never known. He just had a calendar and that was that. .

@summergems that’s a very unkind comment to leave me considering you don’t know my daughter at all and have no idea what she will/ won’t enjoy or appreciate.

@fridaydreamer wow that sounds amazing! 😱

Thank you all for your thoughts and opinions about the situation, I have resolved to leave it this year and put it down to pregnancy hormones 😊

My DC always have more than one advent calendar. It's a complete non-issue for me. One won't detract from the other at all.

My kids have 4 advent calendars in various houses. There are children starving to death in Yemen. Sort yourself out you priveliged mard arse.

YANBU
I'd have smoke coming out my ears too. Your hormones may be playing a part but only making you more sensitive to how you actually feel and can't let go of something you would have easily done otherwise.
I imagine it's not the fact that MIL is excited about this and wants to do something nice with your child... more like you maybe feel she doesn't respect the time and effort you've put in and hasn't thought about your feelings towards it. You'll likely not get this into perspective if you're anything like me and you'll continue to be upset about it.
For your sanity...

1. Allow MIL to do the chocolate one as she only wants to enjoy it too
2. Don't say anything negative about it to her. Suggest a previous poster said do them at different times of the day... choc in morning and yours before bed (will go to bed thinking about it)
3. Which do you think DC will remember and cherish forever?... probably both in different ways but the same because they both come from a place of love

I really feel for you... I'm so tired my emotions are everywhere they shouldn't be... you feel how you feel and you can't help it... you can help your actions though and do right for DC... embrace MIL'S one with open arms because they're 2 different things with 2 different people...
All the best for your new arrival!!!

It's a non-issue but it's probably your hormones getting the best of you. Your calendar is completely different to the chocolate one your mil has got.

If you'd made your calendar and then mil rocked up with a big expensive one, eg lego/lol doll/paw patrol etc., then you'd be reasonable to be upset/annoyed. As it is your mil is probably just excited.