To want to throw my porridge over him?

[Mummymummums]

Dear God. Sitting having breakfast in an economy type hotel chain, on my own for work, and the man two tables down is eating so noisily that I can hear every chew, even above the chatter and general noise. His table mate is perfectly fine but Noisy Eater (NE) has smacked his chops and talked with his mouth full throughout. NE has a whole extra noisy level to the norm.
I know IABU, and sensitivity to this is a thing, but I have the rage. My problem, I know, and I guess he's harmless (but I'm not right now).

At least he's not your colleague, the other guy might have to eat with him on a regular basis!

Go up to his table with a spoon, while staring him right in the eye take a big spoonful of his porridge, put it in your mouth, move your face in front of his so noses are almost touch and scream an explosive PORRIDGE at him

I have quickly eaten and left so as not to do what Clockworktime suggests. I would have had to throw a snack with the spoon in too.
But yes, at least I'll never see him again.

• Smack not snack