This is very outing, but oh well, I really need advice!
I have a mental illness that was diagnosed a couple of years ago. In the year or so preceding this I exhibited chaotic, wild, behaviour and poor decision making. In this period of time I took out a high interest loan which my sister agreed to be guarantor for. She materially benefited from this stupid loan.
She willingly agreed to be guarantor, knew exactly what the circumstances would be and how it all worked.
I have never missed or defaulted on payments. There has never been any sort of inconvenience to her. Not once. She has never been contacted by them or hassled or anything like that. You can see where this is going.......
Today she has messaged me out of the blue, saying that she wants me to swap the guarantor role to my dp (not together when I originally took the loan out). She says not only is it a constant worry that she wants to get rid of, but she can't get a loan or mortgage whilst she remains as G.
For reasons I won't go into my dp won't pass the credit check so this isn't an option. He also doesn't know about the loan because I'm embarrassed to have done such a stupid thing and I really don't want to tell him.
For context: she isn't a high earner and I have gone above and beyond to treat her whenever possible, include her in family meals and outings. I pay her to house sit and dog mind. She works full time and recently told me that she was thinking about getting a second job to help make ends meet because she is "so sick of being poor". I was really concerned about this (she is single and lives alone so no support) so I mentioned it to our (wealthy) father, who thanked me and arranged to transfer her a couple of extra hundred pounds per month to help out. I told her I had done this and she hit the roof, saying her finances were her issue and she didn't want any interference. Fair enough, but I was a bit hurt and upset as I just wanted to help.
I've replied to her message saying that dp as G isn't an option and saying I'm sorry she feels it's a constant worry but there haven't been any problems.
I feel bad that it's bothering her but she knew what the deal was when she signed and telling me it's all too much now and she'd like to pull out seems unreasonable to me. I don't think I can get her out of it, if I could do a swap then I would, but there literally isn't anyone else. I asked my dad at the time and he said no - fair enough.
She hasn't replied to my message so I think she's annoyed. She's very likely to see this situation as a bad decision on my part that she got dragged into. Whereas actually, she made a conscious decision to help me out.
AIBU to think this and therefore tell her? Or am I being a CF????