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AIBU?

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Original poster

About guarantor role?

102 replies

OriginallyfromLA · 26/11/2018 20:21

This is very outing, but oh well, I really need advice!

I have a mental illness that was diagnosed a couple of years ago. In the year or so preceding this I exhibited chaotic, wild, behaviour and poor decision making. In this period of time I took out a high interest loan which my sister agreed to be guarantor for. She materially benefited from this stupid loan.

She willingly agreed to be guarantor, knew exactly what the circumstances would be and how it all worked.

I have never missed or defaulted on payments. There has never been any sort of inconvenience to her. Not once. She has never been contacted by them or hassled or anything like that. You can see where this is going.......

Today she has messaged me out of the blue, saying that she wants me to swap the guarantor role to my dp (not together when I originally took the loan out). She says not only is it a constant worry that she wants to get rid of, but she can't get a loan or mortgage whilst she remains as G.

For reasons I won't go into my dp won't pass the credit check so this isn't an option. He also doesn't know about the loan because I'm embarrassed to have done such a stupid thing and I really don't want to tell him.

For context: she isn't a high earner and I have gone above and beyond to treat her whenever possible, include her in family meals and outings. I pay her to house sit and dog mind. She works full time and recently told me that she was thinking about getting a second job to help make ends meet because she is "so sick of being poor". I was really concerned about this (she is single and lives alone so no support) so I mentioned it to our (wealthy) father, who thanked me and arranged to transfer her a couple of extra hundred pounds per month to help out. I told her I had done this and she hit the roof, saying her finances were her issue and she didn't want any interference. Fair enough, but I was a bit hurt and upset as I just wanted to help.

I've replied to her message saying that dp as G isn't an option and saying I'm sorry she feels it's a constant worry but there haven't been any problems.

I feel bad that it's bothering her but she knew what the deal was when she signed and telling me it's all too much now and she'd like to pull out seems unreasonable to me. I don't think I can get her out of it, if I could do a swap then I would, but there literally isn't anyone else. I asked my dad at the time and he said no - fair enough.

She hasn't replied to my message so I think she's annoyed. She's very likely to see this situation as a bad decision on my part that she got dragged into. Whereas actually, she made a conscious decision to help me out.

AIBU to think this and therefore tell her? Or am I being a CF????

OP posts:
gottastopeatingchocolate · 26/11/2018 23:44

Can you get some advice from CAB? I would hope it would be possible to transfer the debt into something with lower interest.

Ellisandra · 27/11/2018 06:05

So you’re allowed to say you’d never do it again, and it was a bad decision, but she just has to put up and shut up - she knew what she was getting into? Nice.

I’m not surprised this is a millstone round her neck and causing her stress - she’s guarantor for a loan, for someone who doesn’t even know how long the loan will last for.

Stop your unnecessary spending and get this paid off sooner, and release her. And stop moaning about her. Yes, she made a bad decision - but I expect she underestimated the worry it would cause her, knowing that you could default becomes much more real when you can’t afford food without your mum’s help.

Alfie190 · 27/11/2018 06:36

How can you do this to your sister? I'm shocked you even let her in the first place. Your subsequent posts suggest you really want people to say "it's her own fault". CF.

CloserIAm2Fine · 27/11/2018 07:10

You definitely need to find out how much longer is left on the loan!

And then cut back on all luxuries to throw as much money as you can at it. Honestly it’s ridiculous that you’ve not done so already when you’re paying 50% APR and inconveniencing your sister into the bargain!

paintinmyhairAgain · 27/11/2018 07:14

personally i would NEVER be a guarantor for anyone, not even dc, no matter how much i love them, the loans are so risky and i would be too concerned the debt would fall to me because someone decided they weren't going to service their debt anymore.

ElideLochan · 27/11/2018 07:17

Echo pps, how much is outstanding and can you 're loan with someone else now you have credit history?

Stop spending on anything that's not loan

Fuzzywig · 27/11/2018 07:23

How long ago was the loan taken out? Can you get a new loan to pay it off?

I think your sister is worried about your loan because she is struggling to make ends meet and if you defaulted she would have to pay it which could tip her over the edge. She sounds desperate and needs to be reassured that this debt won’t fall in her lap.

A lot depends on how much and how long you have left to pay. Maybe you both should get some debt advice. You obviously were not in a good place when the loan was taken out.

RippleEffects · 27/11/2018 07:32

I've just looked on the Amigo website. 49.9% APR but without reading the fine print, it reads as though you can pay off in full at any time.

I'm a big money saving expert fan for doing a it of research on best finance deals around. There is a soft loan search form to test your pote trial eligibility for loans: eligibility checker form It would be a good quick starting point to find out your options.

LakieLady · 27/11/2018 07:45

@BridgetReilly great advice there.

The interest rate for cash advances on my Nationwide card is only 17.9%, even that's much lower than Amigo charge, the robbing bastards.

Still, at least they calculate interest daily and don't charge a penalty for early settlement, so if you can raise the money to clear the remaining balance, you'll be a lot better off each month too, OP.

Bibijayne · 27/11/2018 07:54

I have bipolar disorder. I would never do this to my sister.

OP, your sister did you a favour. You seem to be reluctant to prioritise paying this loan off. She has looked to see what finance she can get - maybe because she's in a difficult spot at the moment- and been told that because she is helping you she cannot help herself. You seem pretty blasé about it.

Not very nice at all.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 27/11/2018 07:56

You need to be looking at ways to make this work for your sister, not finding excuses as to why you can't!

anniehm · 27/11/2018 08:09

Can you not borrow a normal loan now? From a standard lender

Gaspodethetalkingdog · 27/11/2018 08:14

The loan company have to agree to release a guarantor, they won’t agree to this unless the replacement is a better risk.

Did you borrow the money for your sibling? Bad idea

Never get involved in guarantees I worked in an area of business were this was done, and it causes nothing but relationship fall outs.

abbsisspartacus · 27/11/2018 08:17

Why would being a guarantor affect her credit to that degree? I don't think it would I think the fact that she is a low earner who needs her dad to bail her out is the reason

You can't stop being a guarantor they won't let you I've tried believe me

Ellisandra · 27/11/2018 08:33

It wouldn’t affect her credit in terms of her credit rating. But when looking to borrow, any new lender would consider the full amount of the Amigo loan as her responsibility - and therefore likely fail her on affordability.

SilverLining10 · 27/11/2018 09:54

Massive entitled CF. Your poor sister doesn't owe you a reason if she doesnt want to do this anymore. She was kind enough to do in the first place. It's up to you now to do the right thing and find someone else.

wowfudge · 27/11/2018 11:56

FFS OP - you can check how long you have to go to pay off the loan. For one thing, they will have had to give you a term used within which you had to pay it off and details of the total cost to you at the time you took it out. She's clearly struggling for money now so pull your finger out and do something to release her from bring your guarantor.

wowfudge · 27/11/2018 11:57

Full of typos but you get the drift

PikaPikaTink · 27/11/2018 12:53

While I think the op should do her best to either pay it off or get a nww guarantor her sister does need to accept that she willingly signed a legal contract. She bears some of the responsibility for this too.

TheViceOfReason · 27/11/2018 12:56

OP seems to be getting a hard time here.

I almost read this as the sister knew full well the OP was making a poor decision due to mental ill health, but was happy (maybe even encouraged) the OP to go ahead and the sister would be a guarantor as she was benefiting (ie getting money / items with the loan money.

Now the good times have gone the sister wants nothing more to do with it.

Honestly fault is shared here - no, the OP shouldn't have signed up - but the sister shouldn't have gone along with it.

OP - i'd suggest discussing with your parents and see if they will agree to pay the loan off and you repay them (along with a nominal interest % added). Maybe be honest and say you know you've majorly fucked up, and you won't ever ask for help again.

lifecouldbeadream · 27/11/2018 14:34

Have a look at a credit union. It may be just what you need.

EnglishRose13 · 27/11/2018 14:51

I've just looked on their website - ouch! I hope you find a way to pay this off more quickly.

Birdsgottafly · 27/11/2018 15:00

Anyone asked to go Garauntor should look into what it actually means and watch "cant pay, we'll take it away". Nearly a quarter of their business is going after the Garauntor.

OP, you can do nothing accept pay it off as soon as you can.

Get in touch with them and find out all the details. Work out how much you can overpay it and make sure there isn't a early payoff fee.

Then contact your Sister and reassure her by having actual figures and time frames.

If she's struggling herself she's probably focusing on this as a distraction of her own money issues.

Jaxhog · 27/11/2018 15:02

She did you a favour acting as guarantor (a bloody big favour!) and she has every right to ask you to remove her - though I get that it isn’t so simple.

This may not have impacted her up to this moment, but it is impacting her now. Why can't you ask your father to take it over?

PanicwiththeBisto · 27/11/2018 15:16

Compound interest being what it is, if you've only been paying off the bare minimum then you could still owe a lot of money - most of it interest charges.

I would find out exactly how much you still owe, then find ways to pay it off as soon as possible, without taking out another loan at high interest rates.

You seem to be blaming her for agreeing to be guarantor in the first place. Whereas actually, she made a conscious decision to help me out.

Certainly, no good deed goes unpunished!

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