To wonder how people find the time to do so much with their dc?

[dairymilkmonster]

I have two ds, aged 7 and 3. DH works full time (usually long days a week plus some on-call) and I work part time (3 days plus some on call). Not exactly unusual.

It feels like everyone in the real world, and on here, seems to do so much with their dc. Be it after school activities, weekend activities/days out/trips, playing with them, general stuff at home (games, crafts whatever).

Where do people find the time? Especially during the week? Or is this another untrue belief I have come too based on chat, social media and reading mumsnet?

I find on the two days I collect the kids, we get home from school at 4.30 (finish 3.45 at school then collect from preschool en route back). DC disappear to play, generally rejecting doing a nice activity with me. We do a little homework/music practise at some point if there is any (10mins). I do try to suggest or do something together. Their screentime starts at 5.30 til dinner at 6.30ish. This is primarily to allow me to cook, do packed lunches etc. Then bath, stories, bed by 8. On the other 3 days of the week I get back around 6pm, dc have been picked up by our after school nanny. Same routine after that.
Ds1 does one after school club a week, ending 5pm, home 5.15ish.
Ds1 does swimming lesson on sundays.

Clearly we have more time at weekends, but even then I don't seem to achieve nearly as much as everyone else. We frequently have jobs that need doing, like going to homebase or getting some shopping or something. I already do the food shop online weekly.

Tips?
Or just accept my lot?

I know if I didn't work then I would have more time, especially in the school holidays. Problem is dh and I are both doctors, and after almost 20yrs of hard slog, I am not up for throwing in the towel. Plus I would go mad and would have to admit I am not a natural mother.

Op your work time sounds very similar to mine / DH. My kids are 7 and almost 2.

I sometimes think the same thing. Am I doing enough with kids and when do other people actually do normal everyday stuff?
One thing that has crossed my mind is even finding time to play a board game / build lego with the eldest can be tough as LO is still too small and needs watching.

Remember at the childminders they will be playing games and doing craft stuff too. I find craft can be a faff more mess and tidying up than actual quality time crafting.

I delegated the ironing to somebody down the road. But if i could get a decent cleaner I would do that instead.

@justkeepswimming totally agree. I think a lot of the parents that feel the need to constantly enroll their children in activities perhaps feel guilty because they're working so much and feel they need to do stuff that reflects what 'quality time' looks like. With the best of intentions. That doesn't go for everyone doing it I know. Kids must feel so rushed about when they're just picked up from school and then thrust straight into an after school activity. It must be stressful for parents too. They can't be relaxed and enjoying it. And where do you fit in food shopping? Even if you do it online it still takes planning and time to do it. I think so long as you're actually participating with your child whilst they're doing something and talking to them regularly that's more important than feeling the need to 'entertain' 24/7. I'm sure most of the clubs etc are parent competition.

We have no screen time. We do trips and days out as a family but if any shopping needs doing one of us goes and the other stays with the DC. Also, one of cooks dinner etc.
DC is small and we are really lucky with work arrangements.

Dont compare your familys activity level with what works for other people. That way madness lies. What works for you? My dc go to gymnastics once a week and we eat there afterwards. They can only manage one outing or activity at the weekends because they are so tired but I do spend one evening a month scouring fb and google for interesting events. We aim for one thing every weekend.

And we have a cleaner which helps.

Taking kids to places like homebase are fine!!!

I never said it wasn't fine, I said if you're looking for time for activities then it's an obvious time, the excuse that the family needs to go to homebase doesn't stack up. It's perfectly reasonable to not do activities for any reason, it's perfectly reasonable to want to all go to homebase and make that an activity, it's perfectly reasonable to go to homebase just 'cos you need some screws.

DH and I share all the household duties and roughly follow The Organised Mum Method, so we have plenty of time for family time. I work 4 days, DH 5 days and we run a business from home. We have 2 evenings a week for 'us' to sit and watch TV etc once kids are in bed. Both days at the weekend we go for a walk at minimum or out for a day out one day and at home the next. It can be done with planning and equal weight pulling by each parent