To keep this a secret from my best friend...

[PocketRocket83]

... that I love him as friend and also fancy him rotten. We tell each other everything, except this. We're both in relationships.
He's the one person who could help me make sense of this madness but is also the person I mustn't tell. What would you do?

You work together, are both married and both have two children.

What could possibly go wrong?

Stop all non work related contact and pay more attention to your family. This could become an absolute disaster.

I did. We both left our partners, and are very happy together.

TwistedStitch he hasn't said he's happily married but I presume that he's happy enough.
I don't want to burden him. I appreciate your advice.

Were you married with young children loubluee?

If you have to presume anything OP then you don't know him at all. He's fanning your fanny flames and enjoying the attention.

Stop being a tit.

This absolutely IS an emotional affair.
You're not 'best friends' you're two people skirting around the edge of cheating on your partners.

Are you prepared to potentially plant a bomb and rock people's lives ? Your dc and your 'd'h and possibly, if the feelings are reciprocated, his dw and dc.

Let us know whichever you decide. You probably shouldn't tell him under the circumstances, though I think you will decide to tell him.

End your marriage. Have some respect.

My reason for posting was to ask whether I should tell him or not. As we're close friends it feels wrong to keep this big secret from him but I don't want to cause any trouble for anyone.

It WILL cause trouble for people if you tell - that's 100% certain: You and him if he doesn't feel the same, or four kids and your current partners if your feelings are reciprocated.

But blow everyone's world apart if you feel you need to: After all, you have a right to happiness don't you?

He's fanning your fanny flames and enjoying the attention. This could well be true!

This isn’t just about you - there are two spouses and multiple children in this scenario who will be impacted by your actions. Even if your best scenario works out and he loves you too, you are ending two marriages and ripping apart stable homes for the children involved.

Or maybe you proclaim your love and he doesn’t feel the same, or loves his wife more than you, and you ruin your friendship and that’s that.

Think carefully about what you want to do because you’re not the only person who will be affected by your decision.

Think about why you think you love him. Is he an escape from the mundane? Do you miss the excitement of a new partner? Because once the shine wears off you’ll have the same issues that every long term relationship faces. If you see him as a missing piece or key to your happiness then you need to remember no one person alone can ever make you happy and fill all the void in your life.

blow everyone's world apart if you feel you need to: After all, you have a right to happiness don't you?

I'm not that person. I want everyone to be happy.

Sparklesocks thank you for your advice. I love him dearly as a person. I can't claim to love him as a partner because we aren't in a relationship but I am very attracted to him physically as well as emotionally.

Ugh just leave it. You're fooling yourself if you think he likes you in that way too. Total projection on your part going by what you've said upthread.

Sort out your own relationship problems before seeking another one . It won't end well if you tell him in the long run.

I won't tell him. Most of all because I care deeply about him and don't want to make him unhappy in any way. If he was feeling the same way then he could tell me how he feels. If we ever were to get together then he would have to be brave enough to tell me his feelings. If he's not brave enough then he clearly doesn't feel the same way or to the same extent. I think I have answered my own question. Thanks everyone.

I'm not that person. I want everyone to be happy.

Then put any idea of telling him out of your head. Work on your marriage (either fixing it, or ending it) and get your emotional support from a female friend, your mum, sister or someone you can't imagine wanting to snog.

Thank you oohyoudevilyou. The snog bit made me laugh!

Bloomini, what makes you certain that he doesn't feel the same way? Genuine question.

its an emotional affair

Read your post at 13:33 and at 13:30.

You're not happy in your current relationship and as such, you're elevating this friendship into something it's not. I've been there too and it's difficult to see it for what it is when we're longing for something else.

He needs to dump you as a friend if you don't walk away. This really can't continue.

Maybe you're right Bloomini.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict, why? Because I'm attracted to him?

Yes. He has a wife and kids. If she ever found out, I can bet you will disappear from his life. You seem to think nothing if the fact he has a family with someone. Very disrespectful and unpleasant.