DH taking the puss out of my drugs

[WeirdHandDryers]

I have bipolar (recently diagnosed, this year). I was on 50mg of quetiapine and after a meltdown last week, I’m signed off work and meds have been doubled to 100mg.

Today, the washing machine started making a funny noise. DH mentioned it and I said “yes I think it’s broken, it was doing the same thing a few days ago”. He replied “yes I know, I’m not on drugs” ??? I asked what he was on about and he said “I’m concerned because I’m not on drugs”. Still confused (as any fucker would be) I asked again what he was talking about. He said “too many drugs for you, that’s why you don’t care”. So basically, long stupid story short he’s making a reference to the amount of medication I’m on, saying the doctor was wrong to increase it, I’m now a zombie and it won’t be helping. He’s now not talking to me??! Wtf

Title should read “piss” obviously

Does he often behave like a twat?

Sounds like a dickhead. Is he always that horrible?

You've married that breed of man called the dickhead.

How long has he been treating you like this?

If I’m off work, yes he is. He seems to get irritable about the fact that he’s having to go to work whilst I’m signed off.

Bring so unsupported can’t help your mental health.

I think you should take a deep breath and when you are ready, ask to speak to your spouse about your health. Tell him that you need to know if he has legitimate concerns or he was just being snarky. If he has legit concerns, then you should hear him out. Our partners are with us so frequently, they can be useful for helping monitor our health, be it mental or physical. They may see things you or a doctor might miss.

what's he like ususally ?

To be honest, anti psychotics often make you a bit of a zombie, but I'm sure that's better than feeling awful. I'm sure you'd rather feel well and have to work than be off and feel rubbish.

This may not help, but 100mg is a tiny dose. The recommended dose for bipolar is between 400 and 800mg. So he doesn't know what he's talking about! The doctor was sensible for increasing it. And maybe having it increased will get you well quicker and back to work and your normal self?

Yes. Okay. Everybody is telling you he’s a dickhead.

But think about it this way, you have a serious mental health issue, he’s stuck by you, presumably he’s supporting you. It can’t be very easy for him, my DH has the same thing and it’s not easy. Quietapine does zombify you. It might feel like a non issue to you, but if it’s the fourth time you’ve had this discussion I can understand why he might be getting a little frustrated.

Is he otherwise supportive and helpful? If so you’re getting incredibly bad advice on here. Partners of people with serious MH issues aren’t saints. Sometimes we get frustrated too.

And if you are zombified and forgetting conversations, you really do need to know that because your medication may well need adjusting.

It was the first time this conversation took place augusta.

Fermat, dosage of Quietapine can start as low as 25mg for sleep issues. 100mg could well zombify someone who hasn’t taken it before. It can also make you incredibly irritable...

The resenting going to work whilst you are signed off is worrying.

What is he usually like and are there any other examples?

It was the first time you remember...

And it still could very well be the first time the conversation actually took place.

So now you are sneering at the op Augusta as well as her dh??
What the fuck is wrong with you?

@Augusta2012 - I agreed with what you were saying until the last one.

It could have been the first time they had that conversation and saying stuff like that is not going to help.

There are too many examples for me to go into but yes, he has form.

Augusta, I’m not that crazy. I forget to mention that the washing machine was knackered a couple of days ago, that’s all. I just didn’t see it as a massive deal. We’ll buy a new one, we’re not short of money. (Not that I’m boasting about that, it’s just fact).

Augusta being frustrated at repeating yourself doesn't justify speaking in riddles and being deliberately cryptic in a passive aggressive attempt to punish your Ill dp.

augusta lost my support with their 2nd posting. which comes across as a gas lighting remark.

I would be having severe words very sharpish. I am also bipolar and have had some very heavy spells on drugs to calm it down. I was on between 400-800mg of quetiapine so he obviously hasn't got a fucking clue about " too much drugs" and is just being a spiteful shit. For what its worth my other half could be a wanker but when I was ill and drugged up he was a god damn diamond and never once tried to belittle my mental health issues or spat his dummy out as I couldn't work.

Good luck with the quetiapine. I have been pretty much drug free after becoming addicted to quetiapine, the withdrawal was horrific after several years on a high dose and I have been left with memory loss . Don't get me wrong, I needed it at the time but the of being cut off and isolated like in a gold fish bowl was unpleasant. I really hope you feel better soon.

I’m on lithium and rispridone at the moment for my bipolar. Was flying high, and the respiridone has brought me down, but I’m going a little too far down now I think. All my family and friends take the mick and make jokes, however it’s all done in fun, and if I’m not having a good day they wouldn’t dream of doing it.

I think your dp is being a bit of an arse in all honestly. My dp and exdp (we are still really good friends), will say things like ‘I’m not listening to you, you are on your crazy drugs’ and I’ll say something like ‘yep and I love them!’. But I can honestly say they’ve never said it seriously to me. I would be really hurt it they did. Has he always been like this when you’ve been unwell?

@Augusta, what do you mean by he's 'stuck by her'? He's her husband. He's supposed to 'stick by her' or in other words support the OP. Does the phrase 'In sickness and in health' mean anything to you? Why are you making it sound like the OP should be grateful that her DH has 'stuck by her' when she most needs it? [hmm}

OP, no, YANBU. I think your DH could do with being a lot more supportive towards you. My SIL was diagnosed as having bi-polar a few years ago and it's certainly not an easy thing to cope with. She's doing really well though now that her medication has been finally adjusted to suit. Hopefully you will be the same.

Well done for getting a diagnosis. Your oh needs to realise this is all quite difficult for you, and not mock. It's probably hard for him too but he should discuss it properly not undermine you. Tell him you could stop taking meds (he might be sorry!) but he will still be a wanker.
Nip this in the bud, zero tolerance. Share concerns yes but not taking the piss.

Augusta I formally diagnose you as a gaslighting little GF, as described in the DSM-5 and could probably do with a hefty dose of the seroquel yourself.