DD spent 50 quid on my credit card.

[ohwawawa]

Fucking pissed off right now, DD(13) was on my computer which has my amazon account logged in, she decided that she could buy a a makeup item thats 50 quid. I didnt even realise until today, she had already opened it so i can`t even return it. FFS

Stealing and swearing. I wouldn't ignore that (and you haven't.)

My parents would have taken it out of pocket money for sure.

"In your dreams" is beyond rude. Show her there is a definite limit to what you will accept.

She doesen`t seem bothered. I took it of her along with her phone and i pad. I said she is to pay it all back. She said "In your dreams".

Cheeky little toerag! I would give everything some time to settle down and then sit with her and talk through the options. Which are:

1. She sells her things to make the money to pay you back

1. You write a list of chores she can do and what they're worth. For example a basket of ironing = £1, cooking tea and washing it up = £1, deep cleaning the bathroom = £2 and she earns the value of the makeup back that way. Minimum of 1 chore every school day and 3 each weekend day.

1. She agrees she's not mature enough to use makeup if she doesn't understand the value of it. You confiscate ALL of her makeup, brushes etc and you sell what you can. You won't recoup what you've lost but hopefully the lesson will hit home. Ensure shes makeup free for at least the next 6 months.

1. You chip away at the debt slowly to teach her what £50 is worth. For example take her grocery shopping with you and have her work out the price difference between the foods you usually buy branded and the 'value' alternatives. Buy the value option of everything and knock the pennies saved off her debt. If she's used to higher quality branded stuff this should make an impact of her. Every evening turn the electricity off (make sure you've got yourself a hot water bottle and fully charged gadgets first!!) and leave her to make her own electronic-free entertainment. Tell her each evening without electricity the household is saving 'X' pence and that can be knocked off the debt too. The rest get back by taking a percentage (100% for the first couple of weeks at least) of her pocket money.

1. A combination of all of the above!

I would be concerned about the recent change in attitude
Is there anything else going on at school? Recently started periods and over hormonal?
'in your dreams' is in no way acceptable!

She absolutely has to pay for it before she can have it back and do something to apologise
Where does her money come from?

Wow, I would've blown my top if one of my kids said "in your dreams" to me! Did you not get furious?? Or did you just let it go? How dare she speak to you like that!!!!

I've got this too.... admittedly it is a fab set and is probably genuine but can get it cheaper than that in boots!

If take it off her and use it myself

I'd be taking the item from her, for not only buying it without permission but then being rude about it! Depending on her attitude she'd either be getting it for Christmas or not back at all.
Or she'd be paying back the cost by withdrawing pocket money etc.

I'd look into the reasons why she's acting up but also make her pay it back AND take the make up off of her.

Letting her pay it back, gives the impression that it's easier to ask forgiveness than seek permission and she won't learn any lessons.

The 'in your dreams bit' would bother me more than the original misdemeanour!! I'd get serious rage about that.

I would take away that item and then another item as well and sell them on Ebay to make up the money to return it to you.

Also make sure your computers and accessories are all password protected.

Hmm that link you posted directs via skimresources - is this a secret ad?

I hope you told her that this is theft and if she did this to anyone else they would be straight onto the police.

Ban from the computer and no Christmas presents.

I too would agree with wanting to know what has caused this change in behaviour... because it's something. Something that needs surfacing and finding out about.

And agree with littlemisscomper - it's not ok no matter what has led to it. Her lack of concern could mean lack of concern about herself, something leading her to think that no one cars about her, that she doesn't matter - and that could be due to a multitude of reasons.

That would be your Christmas present from me.

And I'd be locking my computer with a password from now on.

That’s half price in boots just now and nowhere near worth £60

we have had a long talk about everything, she was rude and said she aint paying. Then her dad came home and gave her the telling off her life, she actually started crying, she said she will pay it now. I give her money when she wants really. But i will give pocket money, and it will pay back the 50

But i will give pocket money, and it will pay back the 50 What? You will give her the money she will use to pay you back?

Are you sure about that? You have already seen that she has more respect for your DH than you. Have you wondered why? Maybe start with the above comment?

I was quite sympathetic to her in the beginning (didn't think it's fair to keep the makeup AND make her pay for it) but after reading your other posts ,especially "in your dreams" that's all gone.
Take the makeup away and make her pay you out of her own money. Don't use the pocket money you give her,you're basically paying yourself. Either any money she has saved, or she sells something of value, or she does chores to repay you. Even better a combination of all three. Worst case,just refuse to give her any money /buy her any treats until that amount is made up.

whats that teaching OP?
Surely a better way would be no money, and doing chores until she's paid it back or something like that?

I'm sorry but you sound like a bit of a pushover.

I assume the OP means she will deduct the £50 from future pocket money, at least that's what I hope you mean.

If you always give her what she wants of course she will be spoilt

I could get her a job at my sister`s cofee shop, she could earn it there.

Does she always listen to DH over you?

Is she allowed to work at 13? If she is, then do it. Given how long it'll take her to earn the money, good lesson. The attitude, however, needs tackling, particularly if she's more respectful to dad.

You say you get her everything she wants? So stop, that's teaching her a terrible lesson. She sounds spoilt.

It’s not the kind of make up young girls in school would want to wear (kylie cosmetics, urban decay, Mac, huda, morphe...); it’s more middle aged woman make up - could she have bought it to give it to you for christmas?

worriedaf"It’s not the kind of make up young girls in school would want to wear (kylie cosmetics, urban decay, Mac, huda, morphe...); it’s more middle aged woman make up - could she have bought it to give it to you for christmas?"

She's opened it and is using it! She paid with the OP's credit card! How the hell could it be a present for the OP?